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Before I say anything else, just know that I'm not talking about physical revenge. I am not a violent person and I have never hurt anyone before. Anyway, I was bullied a lot growing up (mostly through elementary and middle school) and it took a permanent toll on my self-esteem and happiness. It ranged from calling me ugly and making fun of my mannerisms to actually getting physically assaulted once. When I think about this stuff, it makes me feel angry. I feel angry at the people who actually did the bullying. I also feel angry at my mom. She is a great parent, don't get me wrong, but when I tried to tell her what was going on and that I wanted to change schools, she never listened and kept sending me back. I'm only 18 and they are around the same age, so I saw some of their Facebook profiles recently and they don't seem to be doing much with their lives. Some of them have been to jail and some don't really appear to be doing anything. I'm working at a job where I'm making around $400/a month and I feel that that's pretty productive for a guy my age who's out of school. I just there was something I could do to make them feel how I felt back then.
Before I say anything else, just know that I'm not talking about physical revenge. I am not a violent person and I have never hurt anyone before. Anyway, I was bullied a lot growing up (mostly through elementary and middle school) and it took a permanent toll on my self-esteem and happiness. It ranged from calling me ugly and making fun of my mannerisms to actually getting physically assaulted once. When I think about this stuff, it makes me feel angry. I feel angry at the people who actually did the bullying. I also feel angry at my mom. She is a great parent, don't get me wrong, but when I tried to tell her what was going on and that I wanted to change schools, she never listened and kept sending me back. I'm only 18 and they are around the same age, so I saw some of their Facebook profiles recently and they don't seem to be doing much with their lives. Some of them have been to jail and some don't really appear to be doing anything. I'm working at a job where I'm making around $400/a month and I feel that that's pretty productive for a guy my age who's out of school. I just there was something I could do to make them feel how I felt back then.
You mean jail time's not enough?
Seriously...what you see on their profiles should tell you all you need to know about bullies. Forget them any way you can, and realize the best revenge is living well.
I think your feelings are normal. These days the topic of bullying is more high profile and understood. Being upset that the person who should have loved and protected you -- & failed to do just that with regard to bullying -- 100% understandable. I want to deeply apologize to you on behalf of your Mom. Back then many of us who were raising kids just were not well educated about the impact of bullying and did not get public support for
The issue. In our day it was just a part of growing up to have to deal with mean kids who terrorized other kids. It would be unproductive to tell you mom how you feel. She just didn't know better and can't fix it now. You will Be a better parent than we were.
Seriously...what you see on their profiles should tell you all you need to know about bullies. Forget them any way you can, and realize the best revenge is living well.
Yeah, I know that I'm living better than them but I feel like they robbed me in a way. Before the bullying, I was a pretty popular kid and was very talkative. Afterward, I became socially withdrawn and introverted, and it made my middle and high school years suck.
I think your feelings are normal. These days the topic of bullying is more high profile and understood. Being upset that the person who should have loved and protected you -- & failed to do just that with regard to bullying -- 100% understandable. I want to deeply apologize to you on behalf of your Mom. Back then many of us who were raising kids just were not well educated about the impact of bullying and did not get public support for
The issue. In our day it was just a part of growing up to have to deal with mean kids who terrorized other kids. It would be unproductive to tell you mom how you feel. She just didn't know better and can't fix it now. You will Be a better parent than we were.
Thank you. I can't really blame her totally and I don't hold it against her, but I wish something was done at the time. I do plan to make sure that if I have kids, that they never have to go through what I went through.
Yeah, I know that I'm living better than them but I feel like they robbed me in a way. Before the bullying, I was a pretty popular kid and was very talkative. Afterward, I became socially withdrawn and introverted, and it made my middle and high school years suck.
Revenge won't give you back those years, but allowing the bullies to continue preoccupying your thoughts is giving them even more of your precious time.
I do agree, though, that your reactions are pretty normal. Are you the writer-y type? You could write some stories, and cast yourself as the hero and them as the villains. It's cathartic.
Revenge won't give you back those years, but allowing the bullies to continue preoccupying your thoughts is giving them even more of your precious time.
I do agree, though, that your reactions are pretty normal. Are you the writer-y type? You could write some stories, and cast yourself as the hero and them as the villains. It's cathartic.
Not really. I used to want to write my own books years ago, but I didn't think my writing was that good. Maybe I'll try that suggestion out though.
I just there was something I could do to make them feel how I felt back then.
They may have been acting that way towards you precisely because they did. A surprising number of bullied kids become bullies themselves when the opportunity comes along.
I think someone already said that living well is the best revenge. It truly is. Tend to yourself, not them. They've already wasted enough of your time making you feel less than what you are. Why give them another minute of your life and your thoughts?
As for your mom, she let you down. She may not have grasped the severity of the situation, maybe she was just lazy, maybe she really just didn't know what to do and hoped it would just go away. If you asked her why now, she might give you the answer you need. Don't ask in an angry way, just someday when the time is right ask her what her thought process was on that very painful time of your life. She may be feeling your pain and regretting not having done something but doesn't want to bring it up or is just glad you're out of it now.
They may have been acting that way towards you precisely because they did. A surprising number of bullied kids become bullies themselves when the opportunity comes along.
I think someone already said that living well is the best revenge. It truly is. Tend to yourself, not them. They've already wasted enough of your time making you feel less than what you are. Why give them another minute of your life and your thoughts?
As for your mom, she let you down. She may not have grasped the severity of the situation, maybe she was just lazy, maybe she really just didn't know what to do and hoped it would just go away. If you asked her why now, she might give you the answer you need. Don't ask in an angry way, just someday when the time is right ask her what her thought process was on that very painful time of your life. She may be feeling your pain and regretting not having done something but doesn't want to bring it up or is just glad you're out of it now.
It's kind of hard not to think about it. I don't necessarily think about them, but the things that they said about me. Most of the bullying went on for at least 3 years and it was carried on by different people. I was hearing the same stuff over and over again (being called ugly, stupid, retarded, etc..) and after a while, it took a toll on how I viewed myself and my self esteem. I even got insulted at home as well as school sometimes.
I don't think my mom really grasped the severity of it. I didn't really like talking about it because it made me feel weak at the time, so I guess some of the blame could go to me. There were times when I came home crying though. One problem that she expressed was that I didn't really have a choice in which school I could go to because we didn't live in a good area and there weren't many schools around. However, I still think more could have been done.
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