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So I just had a realization. I am crazy, lol, I know that is not the proper word to use but I realized that I am. I am diagnosed Schizoaffective and been taking the same medication for the past 2 years. I was first diagnosed bipolar in 2010. At the time I do recall being paranoid, and also I was having a delusion I can still recall. Anyhow this went on from 2010, till today. I would get better, get a job, go back to school, and sure enough I would end up in hospitals. The stays there got longer and longer, I believe like three times during that phase I did over 12 months in these psych wards.
What drove me to really believe I was mentally sick was the fact that I stopped smoking weed and alcohol for 2 years, 2014-2016, and I still ended up back in these hospital setting, delusional. So now that I reflect, a lot of fights I got into, embarrass myself rapping in public, I was homeless, not because I had not home, just because of my delusions, I done a lot of embarrassing things with friends and family, and I just dont know how to address that or how to say sorry. I am afraid to going back to old friends, because I remember doing some shaddy stuff to their family and I dont know how they are going to react to seem me.\\\
But on the better note. I am back in School, going part time, and Getting All A's so far. I do miss my old friends,, I just know know the extent of trouble I caused because I was mentally ill. I had to vent, I read some good post. thanks
I hope whatever it is that you're doing or is working for you sticks. Being crazy totally... sucks.
You can always say sorry to your old friends. That's never wrong. Just don't expect them to want to be around you any more. Everyone has a tolerance level, and it seems that you exceeded theirs.
What are you studying? What would you like to do for a living?
I hope whatever it is that you're doing or is working for you sticks. Being crazy totally... sucks.
You can always say sorry to your old friends. That's never wrong. Just don't expect them to want to be around you any more. Everyone has a tolerance level, and it seems that you exceeded theirs.
What are you studying? What would you like to do for a living?
Thanks, at this point I am not certain, I am just working with the disability counselors/ program and I will know more of what I will study after this Fall quarter comes to an end.
I have a family member with a mental disability. Right now she is not sick and she’s doing fine. But, for over 40 years now, she has periods of times when she does get sick and she needs to be in a hospital or she needs a caregiver at all times. Even though she takes her medication consistently, over the course of time her medications need to be re-evaluated and sometimes the kinds or dosages have to be changed.
My family member is not crazy. But she is very shy and has often been embarrassed over her behavior when she’s had episodes. She has a disability that happens to be mental and not physical and, when she gets sick, it effects her behavior and ability to manage. She has a form of schizophrenia. Its not her fault and its not different than if she had a physical disability. She is a lovely person and had worked at a paying job for much of her life. Now she is retired and volunteers in animal rescue and also has helped physically handicapped kids as a volunteer. The world is a better place because of the lovely things she does.
I have a family member with a mental disability. Right now she is not sick and she’s doing fine. But, for over 40 years now, she has periods of times when she does get sick and she needs to be in a hospital or she needs a caregiver at all times. Even though she takes her medication consistently, over the course of time her medications need to be re-evaluated and sometimes the kinds or dosages have to be changed.
My family member is not crazy. But she is very shy and has often been embarrassed over her behavior when she’s had episodes. She has a disability that happens to be mental and not physical and, when she gets sick, it effects her behavior and ability to manage. She has a form of schizophrenia. Its not her fault and its not different than if she had a physical disability. She is a lovely person and had worked at a paying job for much of her life. Now she is retired and volunteers in animal rescue and also has helped physically handicapped kids as a volunteer. The world is a better place because of the lovely things she does.
Yes I totally relate to embarrassing myself when I am delusional, I done things, said things I would never do normally.
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