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Neighbor friends that I've know for several years (and was trusted to watch over the 2 and their dog). Anyway, the daughter has chosen to be a he - looking for some articles (trusted), etc. to read up on this, I don't want to offend in any way. (please don't suggest Google as I won't use it) - TIA.
I have and it makes perfect sense - someone (a young teen) has chosen to be a different gender. Obviously you don't know anything about this situation.
Don't assume it's a "phase." Don't assume it's a mental illness or a problem with his upbringing or something he should try to change. Use his new pronouns and new name-- exclusively, and remember to do so (if you make a genuine effort, occasional slips won't be the problem-- but not bothering to try is a problem). If uncertain, ask him how he wants to be addressed. It also couldn't hurt to ask if he prefers that his past self be referred to as "him" or "her" (some people will still use the pronouns from before they transitioned-- as in, "when Susie was 5 she liked horses..." and some will prefer not to-- "when Sam was 5 he liked horses...")
Try pflag.org.
(and actually, your OP doesn't make "perfect sense"-- I thought this was going to be a question about dog-sitting and thought the hyphen in "the daughter has chosen to be a he--" was supposed to be a coverup for a swear word, and the only one I could think of was "hell" which makes no grammatical sense. I think what you mean to say was, "their daughter has just come out as transgender" which is more clear.)
This is not a phase or a mental Illness. You just don't wake up one day and say "hey I want to be a man or woman". This Stems from when you are a young child. You don't feel as if you belong or in the right body. You must educate yourself about transgendered people. You don't have to like it or agree with it but if they are good friends I would try and be supportive. Maybe there are books you can take out since you refuse to use google.
Thank you - I am not assuming it's a "phase" or anything like that, I want to be and will be as supportive as possible but this is all new to me - I was looking for things I could read on it that were legitimate - I use Duck, Duck Go as my search engine.
If this young person was someone who I had a reasonably close relationship with and had previously enjoyed chatting with, I’d simply say something like: “I notice you’ve made some changes, tell me about it …” and I would make every effort to adopt an accepting disposition.
Sometimes being politely candid is the best approach. If you are skeptical of mainstream information sources about gender transitioning why not ask your neighbor about it directly? Tell them you know next to nothing about the subject, wish to educate yourself in order to be respectful and supportive, but don't know where to find more reliable sources of information. Unless the daughter is unwilling to discuss it with anyone outside immediate family, chances are she can give you some good sources.
PS: I also found your OP confusing. Sort of got steered down a path about watching over 2 unknown somethings and dog sitting but ended up somewhere very different!
Sometimes being politely candid is the best approach. If you are skeptical of mainstream information sources about gender transitioning why not ask the person about it directly? Tell them you know next to nothing about the subject, wish to educate yourself about it, but don't know how to find more reliable sources of information.
Couldn't rep. you again but thank you - the person is only 13 and has always been very reticent.
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