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I was & am left-handed. My mother found my left handedness to be awkward. I was not permitted, as a child, to help with food prep in the kitchen. My chores were setting the table and cleaning up after supper. My sister, older by 2 years, was right handed and allowed to help with cooking and baking.
Throughout my childhood, my mother often made remarks about what an awkward child I was due to being left handed. She said, quite often, that she couldn’t bear to watch me try and cut with scissors or knives. And she often remarked I was simply an awkward child.
At 75, I realize what an impact this has had on my life. I have always been averse to competing in sports or trying anything new that required physical coordination. I hike and ebike regularly. But I am the tentative one when it comes to crossing a stream, or walking on a trail with exposure or scrambling. When biking, if there’s a tight turn, I usually dismount my bike instead of attempting the turn.
I have had many falling accidents as an adult (in my much younger years) due to lack of gracefulness and low confidence that became my failure to challenge myself in fear of getting hurt because I believed I am “clumsy”
I can blame my mother or I can accept that I allowed her belief to become my “truth.”
I choose the latter. However, its important for us to be cautious about what we message to others, especially vulnerable children.
Your mother wasn't the sole influence so you can't lay all the blame there. Handedness does affect life in lots of subtle ways. You may find these interesting:
FWIW, I was left hand dominate as a small child (according to the family pediatrician). Then I switched, most likely because so many things in childhood favored right handedness. So, despite natural inclination habit overrode it. Now I'm sort of ambidextrous. I do some things with my left hand most people do with their right and vice versa. Habits can be hard to break if there's no particular need/benefit in doing so. Sometimes I challenge myself to do things with the "other" hand just for fun.
Last edited by Parnassia; 04-16-2024 at 06:02 PM..
It is possible because of your age that you got criticism from your mother. My mother is 80 and was left handed. She was forced in school to change, yet she still does some things with her left hand. I was born left handed, and do some things left, and others right when it is required and have no problem. I crochet left handed, yet knit right. I have learned 10 key right handed. I write left handed with my paper like most others that are left handed. I do have a problem with directions. I cut with knives and scissors all the time. I sometimes am clumsy when it comes to sports, but I was a good runner and played outdoors a lot. Could some of your clumsyness be because of the time period you grew up in. I am thinking that there were less girls that did sports in the 60's but I could be wrong.
I was born left handed, and do some things left, and others right when it is required and have no problem. I crochet left handed, yet knit right. I have learned 10 key right handed. I write left handed with my paper like most others that are left handed. I do have a problem with directions. I cut with knives and scissors all the time.
Interesting you mention the bolded as a sort of no dominant-handed person. I recall my parents telling me that as a kid, I had trouble distinguishing right from left while learning tasks with conventions related to "sides" (this goes on the right side, that on the left) as well as some directions. One example would be something like arranging silverware on a dinner table. Because I didn't favor one hand over the other, it didn't really matter to me which hand I used to hold this or that utensil. Consequently, why would it matter which side of a plate you placed a fork, knife or spoon on?
For years, if I was faced with some little action that required choosing between/distinguishing right from left, I would mentally orient myself so I was standing at my usual place at that childhood dinner table, facing the room's windows, holding silverware. I would even bring to mind the room's wallpaper/paint, the dark varnished wood of that table, the chairs and sideboard, the carpet color, even the view out the windows (they looked out onto a patio shaded by a huge wisteria on a trellis). I'd visualize which "side" of the plate the fork went on...that was left. The side the knife went on was right. That was the method I used to verify right from left for the task at hand!
Last edited by Parnassia; 04-21-2024 at 02:07 PM..
I was & am left-handed. My mother found my left handedness to be awkward. I was not permitted, as a child, to help with food prep in the kitchen. My chores were setting the table and cleaning up after supper. My sister, older by 2 years, was right handed and allowed to help with cooking and baking.
Throughout my childhood, my mother often made remarks about what an awkward child I was due to being left handed. She said, quite often, that she couldn’t bear to watch me try and cut with scissors or knives. And she often remarked I was simply an awkward child.
At 75, I realize what an impact this has had on my life. I have always been averse to competing in sports or trying anything new that required physical coordination. I hike and ebike regularly. But I am the tentative one when it comes to crossing a stream, or walking on a trail with exposure or scrambling. When biking, if there’s a tight turn, I usually dismount my bike instead of attempting the turn.
I have had many falling accidents as an adult (in my much younger years) due to lack of gracefulness and low confidence that became my failure to challenge myself in fear of getting hurt because I believed I am “clumsy”
I can blame my mother or I can accept that I allowed her belief to become my “truth.”
I choose the latter. However, its important for us to be cautious about what we message to others, especially vulnerable children.
Your lack of gracefullnes as you call it has nothing to do with right/left. What I do not understand is your fear of tight turn. How do you handle it with a car. A dear friend got me out of that fear of street bikes with a game at the Natural History Museum in Anniston, AL - gravity. Push that knee to the asphalt, lean, lean, lean and you will not fall as gravity takes you through.
Your mother only had so much influence. You kept running with it without questioning it after you left home. Why? Yes, it is awkward to watch a left handed person with some tasks. For giggles - I am right handed or better it does not matter, right eye dominant and shoot long guns left handed. Long not hand guns. That means some serious contortions:>)
I was & am left-handed. My mother found my left handedness to be awkward.
Welcome to the club! You are not alone; I'm left-handed too. Only we know the problems we face on a daily basis. When I was a student, desks were for rights, cars have shifters and brakes for rights, watches are made to be worn on the left wrist... I could go on, but I don't want to bore you. Suffice it to say that unlike other minorities who claim that the world must adapt to them, left-handers keep their mouths shut and without complaints. I've never heard of us doing a left-handed pride march, for example. Far from it, we work on adapting as best we can.
Welcome to the club! You are not alone; I'm left-handed too. Only we know the problems we face on a daily basis. When I was a student, desks were for rights, cars have shifters and brakes for rights, watches are made to be worn on the left wrist... I could go on, but I don't want to bore you. Suffice it to say that unlike other minorities who claim that the world must adapt to them, left-handers keep their mouths shut and without complaints. I've never heard of us doing a left-handed pride march, for example. Far from it, we work on adapting as best we can.
Maybe you should have a parade.
Oddly, more of my closest friends have been lefthanded than have been rightedhanded. I noticed that years ago. I am righthanded.
My husband is left-handed, but he is fairly good at doing things (not writing!) with his right hand because it's more convenient. He recalls that in his elementary school classrooms, the left-handed scissors were either nonexistent or hopelessly poor quality, so he uses scissors in his right hand. He's a mechanic, and if a certain tool is made for the right-handed, he uses his right hand just because he has to.
He bats and throws left, but shoots a basketball right. When he first started shooting, he used his right hand, but switched to left because he thought it worked better with his eyesight.
My sister was also left-handed, but she was adamant about using her left hand for everything. She had left-handed scissors, can opener, and all kinds of tools and utensils. My mom, who was right-handed, taught her to knit by sitting opposite and having her mimic the motions in mirror-image.
I think things like shifters on manual transmission cars don't really count, because everyone is awkward using those at first. And after all, in countries like Great Britain and Japan where they drive on the left, everyone shifts with their left hand.
For what it's worth, I'm right-handed, ride a mountain bike, and it took me a long time to feel any sort of confidence on tight downhill turns. I'm still not nearly as skillful as my left-handed husband.
My husband is lefty. I read somewhere years ago that left-handedness is caused by a difficult birth, lack of oxygen to the brain for a certain amount of time.
Of course that’s always been my go-to when I am giving him a hard time. All in fun of course.
It’s been my experience, though, that lefties typically are creative, fun, a bit charismatic.
I have heard of people who were forced to try and switch when they were little. I don’t think my husband was.
I imagine that would have an ongoing negative impact on anyone.
I have heard of people who were forced to try and switch when they were little. I don’t think my husband was.
I imagine that would have an ongoing negative impact on anyone.
Oh, yes, it would. I was not around at the time, but my parents said that when my sister (b, 1950) started kindergarten, they went to the teacher and said, "Becky is left-handed; we like her left-handed; please do NOT try to make her use her right hand!" Because even though it was already known then that forcing children to switch to their nondominant hand caused problems, some parents and teachers still did it.
I wonder how it works in countries where the left hand is still considered "unclean."
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