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I recently relocated out of state with a boyfriend. I knew he drank but did not know he was an alcoholic until I lived with him here. He admits he is a drunk but does not want to stop. He tricked me into this move by promising me the world and a great fun filled life after moving to this new state. Of course nothing came to perission. He also told me the house also would be mine. Another fib, one night while drunk I said if I ever married you with my luck this home would be in your daughters name, and he said it already was! So now if anything happens to him I will be on the street! I am now stuck here while he drinks 22 cans of beer a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. His addictive habits go like this.....awakes at 7am. drinks diet coke or pepsi till noon. First beer at around that time. All day he spends on the computer....again 7 days a week, 365 days a year. He plays the FreeCell game hundreds of times a day all day and noticed he has free porn sites behind the game he is playing. This goes on until around 6 when he makes his phone calls to family and spends a good two hours on the fone. He then eats dinner around 8 then passes out on the couch by nine most nights. This has been going on for three years. When I confront him about his drinking and no other women would live like this, he tells me to take my dogs and leave. Well he knows since I have 4 dogs and a bird I am going no where. This is how he controls me to be stuck and cook and clean and babysit him! Has anyone ever been in a position like this? My son tells me to get away from this nasty controlling guy but it is easier said than done. I have no family to turn to. I would never get rid of my dogs...so I guess until I have a plan B I stay in this lifestyle. Because of his lifestyle I am doing the same thing, computer all day and tv. 7 days a week. I only go out to the food store that is it.
ps: the guy is very good to me most of the time when sober but still this is no way to live.....he says he is just waiting to die! Is this fair to me? Told him that also and he says for me to just take my dogs and leave!
Thanx Kraken, Yes I am a grown woman but when someone has such control over you it is not easy. They make everything so difficult. This man threatens me constantly, if I ever leave the house he calls my cell and says he left the gate to the yard open and my dogs are lose in the street. He knows how much I love my dogs..this is his way to get me back home quick....he also hates when I spend time with my son. My son was here yesterday and this guy started in with my son....so my son will not come around here anymore now. He loves to allienate me from everyone. I also told him I will look for work (so I can save money) he said well then I can start paying for my own car ins. and other things. (so I will not have any money left to save to get out) As far as I am concerned there is no way out for the time being but I will try to figure something out real soon.
Thanx again for your advice.
Find the local Al-Anon meetings in your area. This is a group of people that are having to deal with alcoholics. They may have some good ideas for you there. You might even find someone there who could help you out with your situation. I know when animals are involved it makes it very difficult---but nothing is impossible! Always remember that! You or your aniimals do not need to suffer. There is always a way.....This man is obviously using your animals and your insecurities against you. Just him telling you "to go" makes me think that that is exactly what you should do!! Please take the time and check out Al-Anon...it is a great group of caring people!! Good luck!
If this guy even makes it difficult to leave your home perhaps you can call or even go online with the Al-Anon groups. That I am not sure of. What does he do for work anyhow---not trying to be nosey but is he home all the time? Meeting are at all different times of the day and evenings.
Yep...he is home all day! He had his own business when back in Jersey. Most alchys do I found out. He always looks for work to do at home!
I tried the Alanon thing online last year but they just told me about the 8 step thing and to leave the situation.
Thank you so much....it helps to know that others are or have gone through what I am going through.
I just don't know what to do now, I think I'm going thru withdrawal and I have heard that can be fatal so I'm scared
If you think you have a drinking problem... you probably do.
If you are going through withdrawal, you need to talk to someone who's been there.
If you want to quit drinking, you need a support group.
Look in your local phone book under Alcoholics Anonymous and call the number. There are people there who have been exactly where you are right now and who can support you and answer your questions.
Go to a meeting. It will answer your questions. The meetings are "anonymous"... so you don't have to worry about what people will say about you. You will find all kinds of people at the meetings -- you'll be surprised.
You should be a lot more concerned about 'what people will say about you' - if you don't get help.
Please, look up the number and call it, today!
AA has helped millions of people.
God bless you.
Last edited by World Citizen; 07-20-2008 at 10:51 AM..
Go to the dr. I was married to an alcoholic he has been sober for about 18 years. He went to the hospital. After that he and I were in therapy different groups of course. I have been to AA meetings and Al Anon. I found out I was more excepting of alcoholics because my parents drank and my father was an alcoholic although he was sober from about 2/3 grade for me. People need to learn that alcoholics are all types. Some are functioning and some are not. Only a professional can help you diagnose you and be truthful. Good luck
Are you powerless over alcohol and is your life unmanageable?
I'm 10 years sober
Feel free to PM me if need be. And give yourself a big pat on the back for having the courage to reach out. You're already on your way even though you may not think so. Only way to find out if you're one of us is to go to a meeting and see if you identify with alcoholics and this disease.
Blondie you are helping him that is an enabler. You probably help with bills, wash his clothes and feed him. You need to first understand you are not helping him or yourself. He has zero power over you unless you allow him to. Al Anon can be strange to you. I hated going in and getting the courage to speak to strangers. But you do o
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Please call AA...
