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Old 08-20-2012, 08:00 AM
 
49 posts, read 151,786 times
Reputation: 37

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I've been in Miami for about 5 months. In NYC, I'm usually pretty popular with the ladies. I didn't have a hard time finding a date. Here in Miami, I don't have any problems meeting women and maybe even getting a number, but it never seems to go past that. Of the few first dates I've had, most of the women seem really impatient and downright mean. I've talked to 5 other new guys coming from various states and they say about the same thing. I knew a guy that left after 11 months and all he said that "dating is really bad". He left the state before I could get more info out of him.

Is there some local cultural dating step that I'm missing? or this just the way it is here?
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Old 08-20-2012, 12:25 PM
 
Location: New York
477 posts, read 1,406,171 times
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I was talking about this yesterday with a friend who has a friend who moved to Miami and then back to NY. I'm taking what I was told with a grain of salt, but she said that dating is hard for women there too because regular girls are competing with models and the men are flocking to them and ignoring the girl next door type.

Not saying this is you, but if you are guilty of only approaching tens, this is the response your going to get unless you are willing and able to spend lots of $$ keeping the interest of women like this.
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Old 08-20-2012, 08:35 PM
 
21 posts, read 33,360 times
Reputation: 31
Match.com. I'm killing it on that site.
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Old 08-21-2012, 04:51 AM
 
250 posts, read 696,239 times
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Worst place to date unless youre a player... Lots of threads on the topic
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Old 08-21-2012, 07:22 AM
 
49 posts, read 151,786 times
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Thanks. I guess I'll be waiting to leave now. Next stop: Los Angeles or back to NY?
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Old 08-21-2012, 09:50 AM
 
428 posts, read 969,699 times
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Did you come to meet girls in Miami for flings or serious relationships? B/c Miami girls (I'm from Miami and am married in NYC now) - but us Miami are mostly about long term relationships. The hispanic influence/upbringing makes us that way. So maybe they think you're not serious (?) In which case there are 10 other guys trying to do the same thing with each girl.

Maybe change your approach? But there is *definitely* the opportunity right there where you are! We were just down in Miami visiting our families, and we went out in a huge group on Sat night to the clubs. Everything is still as lively as I remember it. The possibility to meet people in Miami/Ft Laud seems endless still. Much better than trying to meet real friends here in NYC. There are just so many people that no one really pays attention to the next person.
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Old 08-21-2012, 11:50 AM
 
49 posts, read 151,786 times
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I can see that. I met two hispanic girls at the bars. One had just got out of a 14 year relationship and she was only 30! The other got out of a 12 year relationship and she was 30 something. I am looking for a serious relationship, but these women seemed to be looking for immediate husbands! They didn't seem willing to compromise on their idea of their perfect man at all (Very, very picky daters - much more so than NY'ers). After 2 dates with a girl, she had this very rude attitude like "Are you going to marry me or not?"

Part of the dating process is getting to know each other better, am I wrong?
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Old 08-21-2012, 12:54 PM
 
428 posts, read 969,699 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stevenboyce View Post
I can see that. I met two hispanic girls at the bars. One had just got out of a 14 year relationship and she was only 30! The other got out of a 12 year relationship and she was 30 something. I am looking for a serious relationship, but these women seemed to be looking for immediate husbands! They didn't seem willing to compromise on their idea of their perfect man at all (Very, very picky daters - much more so than NY'ers). After 2 dates with a girl, she had this very rude attitude like "Are you going to marry me or not?"

Part of the dating process is getting to know each other better, am I wrong?
Haha! You and I should have a deep conversation, and I’ll help you out. You sound like my husband! Typical new Yorker dating a Miami Hispanic girl. Oh boy! He sounded just like you when we met. He’s like, man, we just met a month ago, and you want me to talk to you exclusively? Uh, yea, buddy, that’s the way it works. Us Hispanic women take very good care of our men. We aren’t ditzy flakey fly-by-night women. We mean commitment. Yes, some of them are a bit clingy and exaggerated in that sense, but that’s just the culture. You’ll love it if you give it a shot with one girl. Let the chemistry flow. Don’t think that just b/c they seem like they want a husband TODAY that the relationship won’t start well. That’s just their way of trying to figure out whether you’ll flee at the sign of commitment. Just b/c you met two girls who got out of 15 yr relationships doesn’t mean every girl is like that. You’ll meet someone very nice. Miami girls are quite open to meeting guys. They aren’t as closed off as these NYC girls. That much is definitely on your side, so take advantage of that. Just go with the flow and if you like the girl, don’t pay too much attention about the marrying comments. Those will subside. Tell them that you want to relax with ONE person and enjoy the ride together. You’re right, part of the process is getting to know each other. But don’t be intimidated or put off by what you THINK the girls mean. Not every girl is the same, so just b/c those two had baggage doesn’t mean they all will. I was a little clingy with my husband in the beginning, and he was a little afraid to take the plunge. I only meant well and after he got over his fear, he let himself go. I wasn’t begging for marriage. I never brought it up again. He did! But I just wanted to know that in the beginning, I wasn’t going to just “hang out” with someone who only wanted one thing and nothing else. That’s the test that the girls are trying to give you, that’s all.

And for perspective, I was 25 and he was 30 when we met. That was 5 years ago.
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Old 08-21-2012, 02:29 PM
 
Location: Miami/ Washington DC
4,836 posts, read 12,001,927 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stevenboyce View Post
I can see that. I met two hispanic girls at the bars. One had just got out of a 14 year relationship and she was only 30! The other got out of a 12 year relationship and she was 30 something. I am looking for a serious relationship, but these women seemed to be looking for immediate husbands! They didn't seem willing to compromise on their idea of their perfect man at all (Very, very picky daters - much more so than NY'ers). After 2 dates with a girl, she had this very rude attitude like "Are you going to marry me or not?"

Part of the dating process is getting to know each other better, am I wrong?
Don't most 30-something women want to find a husband quick? Its that point where they start freaking out? I am not sure, I am not 30 yet (also not a female) but is this not the general problem everywhere?
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Old 08-22-2012, 06:37 AM
 
49 posts, read 151,786 times
Reputation: 37
I have a feeling that it's more than just a latin cultural thing that makes the dating here so bad. Me & a buddy saw this guy with a washboard stomach with a not so cute woman that looked twice his age on the beach. I honestly thought she was his mother until they romantically layed together in the sand. Even my personal trainer who is a guy in amazing shape is dating a woman 10 years older than him!

I get the feeling that women are calling ALL the shots here in Miami. This is definitely not true in New York.
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