Why is it so difficult to find loyal friends in Miami? (home, gated)

[Live0101]

Originally Posted by Enigma777

I had the same experience as you in San Diego--superficially nice people interested in looks, cars and the beach. I've also lived in NYC, New Mexico and Connecticut. I've made friends everywhere I lived--some I've kept, some I haven't.

People who blame the places they live for their personal issues are saying more about themselves than those places. I don't find the people here that different in general. There are nice people and there are jerks. Smart people and dumb people. I work in a law firm and most people there are smart (and friendly), but I've encountered some really dumb drivers.

I can find more people here that are open minded, liberal and have a better sense of humor than some of the other places I lived. I don't like areas that are heavily conservative as it feels kind of oppressive to me. There are so many different areas and cultures in SE Fla that I don't see how you classify it as one big culture. You can pretty much find whatever you are looking for here.

First of all,"blame" is a misunderstood perception from what I typed,I clearly gave examples of the kind of experiences I've had that your average person wouldn't put up with unless they had a low self esteem. However,the vast majority of people that I've come across were superficial. Some people can find what they are looking for,if it were meant for everyone to have the same experince I highly doubt anyone would be considered unique in anyway. Before I even posted I read many of the same comments about this area in particular,I think its not for someone else to say why a person has more negative experiences than most. The fact of the matter is,if you feel that there is something wrong with me and not the fact that I have met a lot of shallow people here,then maybe you are more like them than you have considered yourself fortunate to have not come across these kinds of people in great concentrations. As I said,this was once the murder capital of the the U.S for many years prior to my ever moving here,but Ill bet you'll think that is my issue too,even though I didn't live here around that time. One thing I do need to bring acorss though that sets me aside from most,I DO LIKE BEING ALONE,I'm not afraid of it! If I were,then I would have a serious issue with they way the majority of people act down here. Furthermore:This is still a Southeren State,that being said,there are some serious class and race issue in this area,more so than I have ever experienced in NYC or Philadelphia. Moreover,I've have bad experiences with people up north,but not to the high concentration of frequency that I ever have living here. There are bad people every where,some places are more densely populated with them as is the case here. I'm glad you don't feel the same way,but keep in mind,we are not twins and something that you may find easy may not be the same for someone else,no matter how good intentioned that person is. That's a wrap!

[StreetLegal]

That is one heck of a wall of text....

[StreetLegal]

Originally Posted by perry335654

Sometimes if not most, I say a city could be based on how much they revere the Lord, because the more Godly people they are, the more people have a love for one another as material things and money are not that big of an issue. So it is not how well educated or lack there of but how much love there is for the Lord. Iwill say people who strive for money and materialism are people of this world.

Utter nonsense.

[tankhead]

Originally Posted by perry335654 View Post
Sometimes if not most, I say a city could be based on how much they revere the Lord, because the more Godly people they are, the more people have a love for one another as material things and money are not that big of an issue. So it is not how well educated or lack there of but how much love there is for the Lord. Iwill say people who strive for money and materialism are people of this world.

Originally Posted by StreetLegal

Utter nonsense.

I agree, it is nonsense.

[StarfishKey]

Originally Posted by tankhead

Originally Posted by perry335654 View Post
Sometimes if not most, I say a city could be based on how much they revere the Lord, because the more Godly people they are, the more people have a love for one another as material things and money are not that big of an issue. So it is not how well educated or lack there of but how much love there is for the Lord. Iwill say people who strive for money and materialism are people of this world.




I agree, it is nonsense.

Most people who say they are Godly, are the least Godly people I know. They are generous with their judgment and control of others, but very stingy with their compassion or help for others. These are not the kind of people I would seek out for friendship. But I have not found that to be the issue with people in Miami. I had no trouble making several close friends in Miami in the few years I was there. It's just that it is known to be a superficial and transient city, so having high expectations for friendship if you're not from there does not really make sense. It attracts too many people who are not looking for that, or people who are from there and already have their whole extended family there so don't really need you. One might get lucky, as I did, but then again I am a highly social person so one is bound to meet a few great people out of every thousand misses. If you volunteer a lot or get involved in causes that are meaningful to you, it's easy to meet other people who care about similar things and who have compassion for others.

[Live0101]

Originally Posted by Felix C

True. I do have wonder at the type of people who believe selfish or other unwanted behavior is unique to Miami and not present in whatever location they departed to relocate here. Go back man if it was that much better.

I've lived in Philly,NYC,obviously I know that there are selfish self centered people other than SE,FL. Did I mention that I also lived in DC too? There is something very different about the atmosphere here,for sure. I alluded to the reason for that as well. As far as my wanting to move,I guess you did cherry pick my statement,I explain why I am still here. Im not the only person who lives here and doesn't like the atmosphere here either. Not everyone is bad here either,however,it takes more energy than usual to maintain relationships here too. In NYC immigrants and tourist are more able to blend in by being able to speak English,which is not the case here. Its good you haven't had the same experience that I have,more over,I came here for a very specific reason,which underlines the reason I am still here,the weather is great in the winter time. If I missed anything when and if I move from here it would be solely for that reason now,THE WEATHER!

[elchevere]

Sounds like your experience mirrors how I feel on the West Coast....I tell people I live in CA for the weather in spite of the people whereas I lived in NY for the people in spite of the weather....take heart in the fact that based on geographical proximity alone, you are more likely to run into more people from DC and the Northeast in FL with whom you will have more in common with. Focus on developing relationships with people from these areas when you do, would be my advice. You will have common things to do together, boast about, and ***** about.

[Winchupuata]

Originally Posted by Enigma777

I had the same experience as you in San Diego--superficially nice people interested in looks, cars and the beach. I've also lived in NYC, New Mexico and Connecticut. I've made friends everywhere I lived--some I've kept, some I haven't.

People who blame the places they live for their personal issues are saying more about themselves than those places. I don't find the people here that different in general. There are nice people and there are jerks. Smart people and dumb people. I work in a law firm and most people there are smart (and friendly), but I've encountered some really dumb drivers.

I can find more people here that are open minded, liberal and have a better sense of humor than some of the other places I lived. I don't like areas that are heavily conservative as it feels kind of oppressive to me. There are so many different areas and cultures in SE Fla that I don't see how you classify it as one big culture. You can pretty much find whatever you are looking for here.

Originally Posted by Enigma777

.

I would not put it quite that crudely, more like many people here "don't give a crap" and that is one of the things I like about it. They aren't as into enforcing their rules on others. The last place I lived was a smaller city heavily populated with super authoritarian types from conservative areas of the midwest.

Rules, rules, rules were everything. You had to behave and follow their rules to a point that it felt like being in grade school. The cops were like Nazis. Companies had huge restrictions and rules and many of the people who worked there were people who would report other people for 'not following the rules' like they were children. People were always lecturing others on how to behave. I find the freedom of expression and lack of enforcement of really stupid rules here liberating. NYC had the same type of liberating environment. Some people thrive in that atmosphere. Others miss the authoritarian structure.

I'm like you, can't stand conservative places, anyway, the difficulty in making friends is not a Miami problem, it is a modern life problem. You will find people everywhere in the US and the rest of the world complaining about the same thing. After you leave school it simply becomes harder to make friends, be it in Miami or anywhere else. I've lived in many different places and I don't find Miami more or less difficult to make friends, it's the same as anywhere else. I think people's attitudes and mental states influence much more than the place they're at.

[xS☺B☺s]

Hey I lived in SoBe for three years and had gaggles of friends. I met everyone in every building I ever lived in (3 altogether) within a month of being there. I thought SoBe was a blast. Kinda like a never ending roman orgy. It's a wild place - and if you embrace the decadence you'll have a blast. If you want to bring New England to SoBe yer gonna be disappointed. Don't look for ladies or lifelong love in a wh***house.

[angelscorpio]

Originally Posted by xS☺Be

Hey I lived in SoBe for three years and had gaggles of friends. I met everyone in every building I ever lived in (3 altogether) within a month of being there. I thought SoBe was a blast. Kinda like a never ending roman orgy. It's a wild place - and if you embrace the decadence you'll have a blast. If you want to bring New England to SoBe yer gonna be disappointed. Don't look for ladies or lifelong love in a wh***house.

Really?
Explain a bit more please..