"Army Brats" and similar backgrounds (Navy, stationed, graduation)

[Adream]

I have lived all over this country and some parts of Europe over my lifetime due to my father's job. While I'm not an "Army Brat" per se, I have lived the same type of life. I seem to have carried it on in my adult life. I am one move away from town #30. (No wonder I'm tired).

My questions to you:

1. Do you find that you are searching for a home base to put down roots?
2. Have you found that special place that you can finally put down those roots and call "home?"
3. Do you enjoy the "gypsy" life now that you are an adult?
4. Are you living in one part of the country, but are trying to return to a town that you used to live in and enjoyed?
5. What was your process for deciding on where to settle?
6. Have you found that your experiences living in different towns/regions makes you comfortable in new situations, with new people?

Your additional insights and answers to any/all questions are sincerely appreciated!

[chiroptera]

You & me both! Grew up in France, Turkey, Greece, England & Scotland, here in the US since 1979 but have lived in several states, drove a semi in the 1980s, saw the country, still travel a lot all over, still haven't figured out where I am going to end up....

1: Yes. But having moved so much - I am an American citizen (born here) but don't really feel like I have a true nationality in a way - probably will never feel like I've "put down roots" until the day I die. I never really feel home anyplace, although I feel "at home" in many countries, if that makes sense.
2: Nope.
3: Love to travel and go to new places, but sure would like to feel like I have a home base.
4: Haven't yet. Affordable real estate, four seasons and a relatively progressive type location would be three top criteria, though.
5: Yes, absolutely! I think travelling extensively makes one quite relaxed and flexible about new paradigms generally.

PS, not an army brat - raised a hippy brat... Lived in communes and odd places growing up. Still live in an odd place, now that I think about it!

[Adream]

Thank you for your response, Traveling Paws! I wonder if there is some syndrome that people like us end up with from all the moving about.

Many good traits are learned, and while I crave settling down in one spot to put down roots, this "wander lust" overtakes me, and I just have to GO! The trick will be to find a home base that I enjoy, but is easy to lock the door behind me and hit the road! Thanks again!

[undertheironsea]

I haven't moved NEARLY as much as you have, but now at 21, I still have some of the familiar symptoms after 7 moves.

My questions to you:

1.) I'm still quite young, so the home base and roots thing doesn't really apply. Right now I'm in Central Arkansas and not very happy. After I get my teaching degree, I'll soon be gone from here. When that day comes, I'll probably be looking for a nice place to stay to settle down for a while.

2.)I claim home as South Mississippi, where I was born and raised (until age 10.) But after graduation I'll be looking for another place like it, only better, somewhere I can be happy staying.

3.) In a strange way, I do enjoy it. Although most of the places we've been I haven't liked. I've been in Mississippi, Indiana, Georgia, Kentucky, Nebraska and Arkansas, and honestly, Nebraska was the only one I really enjoyed, even though I'm as Southern as can be. So I get happy feet these days every two years or so, and I probably will continue to until I find a place I truly enjoy.

4.) I'm trying to return to the area around western Nebraska and maybe into Wyoming or North Dakota. I love cold air, flat areas, snow, etc etc. Like I said before, it's the only place I miss. You couldn't get me to go back to my hometown in South Mississippi if you paid me to (especially after how things have gotten after the New Orleans refugees have come...violence, stealing, you name it.)

5.) There was no process. Wal-Mart Distribution (Logisitics) tells it's managers where to go, and they listen. They're evil, but they pay well, so our family can't complain a whole lot.

6.) I love it. There's always something new to learn. I've done it enough to where if I'm in one place for too long, I feel strange. I feel like I should run off again after a couple years. It's just habit, I guess. But new people and places intrigue me. I want to remedy that and find a place to settle down sooner or later though, so my children don't have to move around too much. I admit that it made me a much more mature, well-balanced person at this age, so much that I hardly have anything in common anymore with other college kids (I'm an only child that's been not only moved a good bit but also around adults and business people his whole life.) I wouldn't trade the life experience that it's given me for the world, but sooner or later, I'll need to plant myself.

[GAisGreat]

Originally Posted by Adream

I have lived all over this country and some parts of Europe over my lifetime due to my father's job. While I'm not an "Army Brat" per se, I have lived the same type of life. I seem to have carried it on in my adult life. I am one move away from town #30. (No wonder I'm tired).

My questions to you:

1. Do you find that you are searching for a home base to put down roots?
2. Have you found that special place that you can finally put down those roots and call "home?"
3. Do you enjoy the "gypsy" life now that you are an adult?
4. Are you living in one part of the country, but are trying to return to a town that you used to live in and enjoyed?
5. What was your process for deciding on where to settle?
6. Have you found that your experiences living in different towns/regions makes you comfortable in new situations, with new people?

Your additional insights and answers to any/all questions are sincerely appreciated!

WOW this post is so funny...We are going through the same thing, in fact we are in the process of another 'starting over again' move! The opposite here though, NEVER moved as a kid, grew up in the same place my whole life, until I joined the military, even in the military was pretty much stationed at the same place the whole time. But since getting out we've been bouncing around. A lot of it has been for job opportunities, but a lot is plain old wander-lust. Nowhere near #30, but we've lived where we're at now TWICE, went back to our hometown once, and have been 2 different places due to military. But to answer your questions...

1.Yes it's almost like we are so desperate to find a place to 'put down home roots' it makes it HARDER to put down home roots.
2.We've found a few special places, but housing costs and job situation tend to alter that sometimes! Our last move we THOUGHT on all our preconceived notions, criteria, etc. we were moving to the perfect place, and according to what we "thought" this was the perfect place. Now real life has shown us how wrong we were about what we "thought" would be perfect for us. In many ways it's been a blessing because it really forced us to open our eyes and refocus on what is really BEST.
3.I don and don't enjoy it. We have kids and to this point they have really done great with it, I just hate the thought of moving them around. Although I am starting to think it really doesn't affect them like people who have never done it assume it does. If worrying about finding a job, selling the house, things like that were 'easier' then I would love it. But with kids you HAVE TO worry about these things and that definately makes it harder to be a 'gypsy'.
4.We're living where we thought would be the 'perfect place' to settle down and raise our kids...Now we're desperatley trying to get the hell out of here and return to where we originially left...GO FIGURE!!!
5.Original process was 1.Plenty of job growth, 2.Low cost of living, 3.Lots of overall growth, 4.Good schools. The good schools thing is subjective, we've found often the surveys, stats, etc. are BS, we've been in so-called average schools that were much better than 'highly-rated' schools. The other criteria, we've done a 180, those are things to AVOID!

[Armhole]

Hi, I'm a navy brat, just about to turn 50. I "left the service" when I was 19. (My folks and I were living in DC, when my Dad retired my folks moved to their favorite posting, which was Scotland). I headed out to the best post we'd been stationed at, in Bremerton Washington. 30 Years later, I'm still "here" albeit a few miles away in Seattle WA. After about 25 years, I finally realized that Seattle was "home", ie that I would never find a physical location that felt any more like home. But the truth is.... I have such a bad case of MB-itus, that no place will ever be home. WHilst I'm surrounded by loving friends, I am still a happy yet maladjusted MB, a square peg in a round hole, alone in a room full of people. Or at least, I usually feel like it. So best of luck on finding a swell place to settle your body in. Better luck still at settling the rest of you. Mike in Seattle

[BlueWillowPlate]

I was sort of an airlines brat, I guess. I was bi-coastal before I was a year old.
Lived in 3 different places in California, then New York, then Colorado. Spent some time traveling through Europe, spent a summer there long ago.
Colorado felt the most like home, and I lived there the longest, though I resided in several different communities there.

But now I am in northwest Florida. I always missed the beach--we both like the water.

I'd like to establish a home base, but am not a fanatic about it.

I don't know where we'll end up: we are leaving here at the end of May.
For the first time in 23 years, we won't have to worry about the school system wherever it is we settle in.

[Adream]

Originally Posted by Armhole

But the truth is.... I have such a bad case of MB-itus, that no place will ever be home. WHilst I'm surrounded by loving friends, I am still a happy yet maladjusted MB, a square peg in a round hole, alone in a room full of people. Or at least, I usually feel like it. So best of luck on finding a swell place to settle your body in. Better luck still at settling the rest of you. Mike in Seattle

Wow Mike, are you my brother or something?

I know what you mean by the "alone in a room full of people" statement. I can overcome that for the given moment, but I ultimately end up feeling like the outsider even within a group of friends who I like - which is surely all in my own head from a lifetime of being "the new kid."

There is a definite good side to that - groups of people can often get into their dramas, which I find I can easily stay unaffected by. (You know the thought process?: There are always other places and other people. A kind of learned detachment, I guess).

I'm hoping to end up in a pretty place with nice people, a good economy and quality of life, interesting and fun things to do, and eventually the gypsy in me with get the idea that this is "home!"

Hhhmmm, this thread could turn out to be a great support group!

Originally Posted by cil

I don't know where we'll end up: we are leaving here at the end of May.
For the first time in 23 years, we won't have to worry about the school system wherever it is we settle in.

Our two youngest kids are in high school, and while I am enjoying these years, I must admit that it will be nice to make a decision someday based on what DH and I like. The proximity to good restaurants and an airport will be more important than the school system!

[grammy164]

Originally Posted by Armhole

a square peg in a round hole, alone in a room full of people. Or at least, I usually feel like it.

Another one who's always felt that way. I guess there are more of us out there than I knew. Thanks. That makes me feel better!

[ArkansasTraveler]

Originally Posted by Adream

My questions to you:
Do you find that you are searching for a home base to put down roots?

Home is where ever I hang my hat.