A philosophical perspective (bless my heart!) (real estate, financing, student loan, financial)

[the Parkies]

Hi, everyone!

Just wanted to say that I don't really have a CLUE what y'all are talkin' about in this new forum, and in the process of readin', screwin' up my eyebrows, and wrenchin' my brain to try to understand, somehow I ended up just wantin' to curl up with my DOG.

She's imaginary, by the way. She's the stone tied to a rope that I used to drag behind me when I was eight years old and traumatized by the death of my older brother. Today she's "my" dog I see other people walking. We haven't had a real dog since our seventh one died in happy old age a couple of years ago. We decided not to adopt another one (pet "stewards" will understand) until we sell here (San Diego) and move there (NC mountains). But I still miss our little household companions. Every single day.

I just wanted to inject a different perspective into this forum about money and mortgages. For you, life might not be brightened by the thought of a beloved pet. Maybe for you it's about a child you'd like to live nearer. Or parents who are still alive and need you. Or extended family who miss you. Or some other dream.

My question to you has been my question to me all of this extremely difficult year: How much money are you willing to sacrifice (assuming you can) to arrive at your dream?

Let me rephrase that:

Again, assuming you can (but remember, "Where there's a will, there's a way"), How many hundred dollar bills would you be willing to withdraw or borrow and gladly GIVE to someone else to arrive at your DREAM destination?

OF COURSE this figure will vary widely among individuals, depending on their total financial situation, including their current and anticipated mortgages.

Remember... this post is entitled "A philosophical perspective." In that sense, it's not about money alone. It's about: "A cynic [fool] is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing." (Oscar Wilde)

Right now I'd give $100,000--ten thousand one-hundred dollar bills!--to sell this house and be in the NC mountains I've dreamed of for what seems like an eternity (16 years).... And right now--today!--we dropped the price of our home--again--like, for the sixth time this year--by that same $100,000--even though today it was still priced "correctly." (We are what the financial markets call the "landed poor," which in this market seems to us to mean more "poor" than "landed.") Given today's financial realities, will our price slashes matter in some buyer's mortgage picture? Maybe. Maybe not. Will we sell sooner for all our anxious downward "adjustments"? Maybe. Maybe not.

For heaven's sake, we want to scream, will someone please tell us where we ARE??

More importantly, we are forced to address WHO we are!

Of course we've been following the financial market... the subprime crisis... the mortgage meltdown... the Fed's involvement... the stock market... the real estate market... and this very valuable forum. All of us, if we're sane, have to do that.

But maybe--this year's most important lesson for me--we should also learn to "step back" and see the BIG picture of our lifelong values. And do whatever we have to do in order to reach our most highly prized goals!

I probably shouldn't post on this "Mortgages" forum again. I just wanted to interrupt your thoughts... and mine... about money... for five minutes, maybe... just long enough to remember the sweetness of life with a puppy or a child or a friend or a spouse--or whatever else we happen to be blessed with!!

I wish us all good luck with our mortgages. By the way, since Bill and I can't seem to sell here, we will now (we decided today) choose to rent there in NC until we can afford a mortgage there to buy the house of our dreams. Never thought of a mortgage as a GIFT, now did I?

As I said, I just wanted to inject a different perspective, for whatever it's worth to any of you.

More than anything... I wish each one of us PEACE in the INNER world. I don't know about you, but I've certainly been struggling with that this year!!

With prayers for ALL of us,

Jan

[CaptainObvious]

Um. That post was, well, hard to follow at best. Still, I will attempt to answer your question. For me, "living the dream" means "LIVING" the dream, not obtaining the dream and never living another day because I can't afford it. So, unlike many, I am unwilling to stretch far at all to obtain material things like my dream house. It is all relative- you can't really ask "How much are you willing to spend" because what people have is so varying. I'd bet people that make $12,000/year would often say "Heck, I'd spend millions to get my dream home if I had it" and people who make millions would say "I am willing to part with a few hundred thousand to get what I want". Anyhoo- with me, it is 20% of my gross income. That keeps me nice and comfortable and not stretching to buy anything. All around me people making a lot less than I are buying houses for a lot more than mine is worth, so for them, I am guessing they have more tolerance for risk, financing their lifestyle, and stretching to buy "the dream". Lenders will lend me more than twice what I am willing to spend, but my dream includes retiring to resort islands, sending my kids to college without student loans, and being financially secure enough that if I lose my job tomorrow I can still eat the next day. So, yeah, for me it is a conservative 20% of my gross.

[the Parkies]

Thanks, CaptainObvious. I remember when financial institutions wouldn't lend us more than 20% of our income, which protected a lot of us from ourselves!