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Oh, I know how hard it is to get into a UNC school as an OOS student. My sister would probably have her recs and transcripts sent from WHS, though. While I'm not worried about her academic credentials being up to snuff (Honors and future AP student), I'm not really aware of her involvement in ECs except for one club that she's dedicated to. We will see.
@jonrud: ehh. I agree that it's a beautiful town and the school district is fantastic and the sports leagues aren't bad. But downtown gets very boring once you hit sophomore high school - all the annoying and dumb middle schoolers take over, and they are just starting to get unwarranted high egos due to how much their parents make per year and spoil them with whatever they want.
Give yourself time to meet the people here and you will see what I'm talking about. Especially, meet the HS-age kids - they REALLY embody the typical (note that I didn't say stereotypical) Westfielder attitude.
But the friends I had, the ones who went against the grain despite being privileged themselves? The adults who in some respects became my second parents? They're amazing people who I will cherish for the rest of my life for certain. May you find more of those types here than I did.
OP is looking at NC from a college student/college town stand point. Most kids who like their schools also love that area, but it's not reality. You are in a college bubble in your school, presumably with people from many other states not just NC. How can you be so sure you love NC and that it's right for you and your ENTIRE family? I'm sorry, but you sound very selfish trying to uproot your entire family because YOU like North Carolina so much, from the experience of a college student there.
If you want to stay in NC after college, you're more than welcome. Given your attitude towards NJ and WF, don't let the door hit you on the way out. If your whole family wants to follow when they're ready, then that's great. But I agree with other posters saying if I were your parents, I would let my kids finish high school in Westfield then consider a move. I know a few people who were uprooted from NJ to move south or elsewhere in NJ while still in high school and it was hard on them.
Sounds like you want a place to live with your family down there once school is done for you. What else could the rush be? Finish school and since you love it there so much get a job/apartment or continue onto grad school, whatever you wish, and see how you fare on your own in NC. Right now your views on that state don't come from a realistic standpoint, unfortunately.
First, kudos for being responsible and putting some thought into better prospects for your siblings and the whole family, and helping your mother. I feel bad to think that she stayed even though she was miserable, just for the sake of the good schools. Will she think it is worth it if all her kids get into good schools and get good jobs? The question of race aside, this kind of sacrifice by parents is not uncommon.
I agree with the posters who say wait for your siblings to finish high school. Let them benefit too like you did. There is no guarantee they will be happier or better prepared from an NC school, that premise is too loose to base a move on. It looks like a grass is greener scenario.
As an Asian resident of Westfield, I get some of your concerns but honestly I have not met any rude people here. Everyone is friendly but of course that is not the same as saying one can make friends easily, perhaps this is what you are alluding to, and it can be much more important for a schoolkid. Is it only due to race though? I would be sad if that were true.
If it is really not working out, then why not move within nj to a more suitable town. Surely that would be easier and less of a risk.
I want to add that growing up with a sense of entitlement is a parent trap in all affluent towns, not just Westfield. Gives me some sleepless nights..
people that complain about other people being snobby are just jealous and have insecurity issues. there are always different types of people in any town and you will find the ones that you get along with. if you dont, then you are probably the one with the attitude problem. i have always found that you get what you give. everybody has always been nice to me because i am a super sweetie pie.
OP is looking at NC from a college student/college town stand point. Most kids who like their schools also love that area, but it's not reality. You are in a college bubble in your school, presumably with people from many other states not just NC. How can you be so sure you love NC and that it's right for you and your ENTIRE family? I'm sorry, but you sound very selfish trying to uproot your entire family because YOU like North Carolina so much, from the experience of a college student there.
If you want to stay in NC after college, you're more than welcome. Given your attitude towards NJ and WF, don't let the door hit you on the way out. If your whole family wants to follow when they're ready, then that's great. But I agree with other posters saying if I were your parents, I would let my kids finish high school in Westfield then consider a move. I know a few people who were uprooted from NJ to move south or elsewhere in NJ while still in high school and it was hard on them.
Sounds like you want a place to live with your family down there once school is done for you. What else could the rush be? Finish school and since you love it there so much get a job/apartment or continue onto grad school, whatever you wish, and see how you fare on your own in NC. Right now your views on that state don't come from a realistic standpoint, unfortunately.
You know, when I got the email notification and saw your username, I expected a pro-NJ response. But you clearly haven't been paying attention to the thread, because you missed when I clearly said that A) my mother began the discussion, B) I'm considering other states, C) I've been in the country in NC before because I couldn't go home for Thanksgiving, D) (this is MOST important, actually read this time) MY MOM ISN'T HAPPY OR CONTENT HERE. SHE'S DAMN MISERABLE. She's the one who had the idea of leaving within a year. So for you, or anyone else, to feel that I'm even remotely selfish for wanting ALL of us to leave a place where we've had limited success, especially when I've still clearly indicated that I'm considering all possible angles within our family, is incredibly shortsighted, ignorant, and shows that you sorely lack reading comprehension and critical thinking skills. What the hell would staying in Westfield for another FOUR years do for us? Can you name ONE potential benefit of that plan besides my siblings graduating high school?
I doubt it. You might need some neosporin for that ruptured Jersey-is-the-best place girl ego of yours. Too bad I don't have any. I highly suggest that you actually take a trip outside of this state and see how great it is elsewhere. It wouldn't hurt.
Oh, and thanks for the suggestion - I'd LOVE to stay in NC and never return to this God-forsaken state. That's actually what I'm planning on doing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by amazin09
First, kudos for being responsible and putting some thought into better prospects for your siblings and the whole family, and helping your mother. I feel bad to think that she stayed even though she was miserable, just for the sake of the good schools. Will she think it is worth it if all her kids get into good schools and get good jobs? The question of race aside, this kind of sacrifice by parents is not uncommon.
I agree with the posters who say wait for your siblings to finish high school. Let them benefit too like you did. There is no guarantee they will be happier or better prepared from an NC school, that premise is too loose to base a move on. It looks like a grass is greener scenario.
As an Asian resident of Westfield, I get some of your concerns but honestly I have not met any rude people here. Everyone is friendly but of course that is not the same as saying one can make friends easily, perhaps this is what you are alluding to, and it can be much more important for a schoolkid. Is it only due to race though? I would be sad if that were true.
If it is really not working out, then why not move within nj to a more suitable town. Surely that would be easier and less of a risk.
I want to add that growing up with a sense of entitlement is a parent trap in all affluent towns, not just Westfield. Gives me some sleepless nights..
No, it's certainly not only due to race. But it's a part of it. We had the chance to move to another NJ town a few years ago, but pulled the plug last minute. I'm not at all open to that option now. And like I said, waiting for my brother to finish high school would take four years. If my mom was willing to wait that long, this thread wouldn't exist. And while I understand that the school district's high rating may be "worth it", I feel it's time for my mom to think about herself and her own needs. Plus, there's no guarantee that NC schools would leave them at a disadvantage when applying to colleges (it wouldn't affect my sister at all).
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainNJ
people that complain about other people being snobby are just jealous and have insecurity issues. there are always different types of people in any town and you will find the ones that you get along with. if you dont, then you are probably the one with the attitude problem. i have always found that you get what you give. everybody has always been nice to me because i am a super sweetie pie.
Yeah, cool. I don't give a damn how nice you claim to be, because you're not showing it at all. I'm a very nice person, and I had friends here growing up. I got along with many people. But even then, some of those with whom I got along were still fairly snobby. Why the hell would I be jealous of people I hated since middle school when they started treating me awfully? I would have hated those people no matter where we lived. You clearly don't even get what I'm saying and your own "Captain of the Garden State" ego is so incredibly overinflated.
NJ isn't the greatest place in the world, farther from it than most US states in fact. If it was anywhere close to what you think it was, it wouldn't be the state with the most outbound moves EVERY SINGLE YEAR. The excruciating insufferability of charlatans like you is one of the reasons that this state carries that distinction. Clearly, the potential for another family having the sense to leave America's armpit gets under your incredibly thin skin. Your feelings are hurt. Like JG415, try getting out for once. In any case, thank you both for merely proving my point about how stuck-up people really are in this state.
I already know that you're going to say, "oh, you wanted opinions and I'm just being honest". Guess what? Your opinion is WRONG. So save whatever BS response you have up your sleeve.
BTW, what self-respecting so-called man calls themselves a "sweetie pie"?
I'm a Jersey native, and it was hard for us to leave when the job dictated we do so, 15 years ago. But, it's true, NJ is a very expensive place to live, and until you experience life elsewhere, you may not be able to appreciate the difference in COL.
OP, it makes complete sense for you to remain in NC after college. But don't be so quick to expect your entire family to go along for the ride. I moved one teen during his high school years, and it was no picnic. Your siblings may not feel the same way you and your mother do, and their opinions deserve to be counted. Your father would likely be on board if he had employment waiting, what is his profession?
You know, when I got the email notification and saw your username, I expected a pro-NJ response. But you clearly haven't been paying attention to the thread, because you missed when I clearly said that A) my mother began the discussion, B) I'm considering other states, C) I've been in the country in NC before because I couldn't go home for Thanksgiving, D) (this is MOST important, actually read this time) MY MOM ISN'T HAPPY OR CONTENT HERE. SHE'S DAMN MISERABLE. She's the one who had the idea of leaving within a year. So for you, or anyone else, to feel that I'm even remotely selfish for wanting ALL of us to leave a place where we've had limited success, especially when I've still clearly indicated that I'm considering all possible angles within our family, is incredibly shortsighted, ignorant, and shows that you sorely lack reading comprehension and critical thinking skills. What the hell would staying in Westfield for another FOUR years do for us? Can you name ONE potential benefit of that plan besides my siblings graduating high school?
I doubt it. You might need some neosporin for that ruptured Jersey-is-the-best place girl ego of yours. Too bad I don't have any. I highly suggest that you actually take a trip outside of this state and see how great it is elsewhere. It wouldn't hurt.
Oh, and thanks for the suggestion - I'd LOVE to stay in NC and never return to this God-forsaken state. That's actually what I'm planning on doing.
Wow.
I don't think NJ is the best place to be. I understand it has its faults. But so does NC. So does anywhere. Me and others are just trying to warn you that, one, you are young and don't have much life experience, and two, the grass is always greener...
I have been out of this state plenty. And out of this country. It's idiotic to assume someone who said things you didn't like to hear has not left the state and seen much else. Getting nasty isn't going to help you at all. It seems your mind is set and frankly I'm not sure why you came on here to ask us (or something?) only to get snippy at our responses. You talk about NJ residents not being that nice - do you include yourself in that label? I think I do...
My advice was genuine - stay there after college. Get your own place. Find a job. See how you like it. And if your family wants to follow, they will. While your mom might have started the conversation, you stated that your dad is not ready to leave and also that you have siblings still in school. Your family should not rush out, and you should not try to rush them. There's nothing wrong with being on your own in another state that YOU like. Your family will do what they want in the end. Maybe it won't happen at all, maybe it won't be right away, but live YOUR life.
You came here to ask us for advice... or... something... when your dad still isn't convinced to leave. What do you want us to say? Do you want us to validate your decision? Frankly that's not our job, and I don't care what you do. Do I think you should leave? Yeah I do because you seem miserable here. But your entire family does not, so what do you want people to say to you? Seriously, it's quite simple - you settle down there and your family can and may follow. You're just another typical poster who comes on here with their mind made up, asks questions you already know the answers to and have your mind made up about, and goes onto insult NJ and us - its residents. I've seen it all before. Yawn.
Not to mention, this isn't really your issue. You're 19 (ish if you're entering sophomore year of college). You're already out of state in college and have plans to stay there after graduation. What your parents do is really no longer your concern. I understand that if one parent is unhappy you want them to be happy and you would like to live near them, but if I were you I would not be getting so involved in what they do. I think you're overstepping IMHO. You've started your own life now and clearly don't want to look back.
Last edited by JerseyGirl415; 06-23-2016 at 06:57 PM..
Yeah, cool. I don't give a damn how nice you claim to be, because you're not showing it at all. I'm a very nice person, and I had friends here growing up. I got along with many people. But even then, some of those with whom I got along were still fairly snobby. Why the hell would I be jealous of people I hated since middle school when they started treating me awfully? I would have hated those people no matter where we lived. You clearly don't even get what I'm saying and your own "Captain of the Garden State" ego is so incredibly overinflated.
NJ isn't the greatest place in the world, farther from it than most US states in fact. If it was anywhere close to what you think it was, it wouldn't be the state with the most outbound moves EVERY SINGLE YEAR. The excruciating insufferability of charlatans like you is one of the reasons that this state carries that distinction. Clearly, the potential for another family having the sense to leave America's armpit gets under your incredibly thin skin. Your feelings are hurt. Like JG415, try getting out for once. In any case, thank you both for merely proving my point about how stuck-up people really are in this state.
I already know that you're going to say, "oh, you wanted opinions and I'm just being honest". Guess what? Your opinion is WRONG. So save whatever BS response you have up your sleeve.
BTW, what self-respecting so-called man calls themselves a "sweetie pie"?
Yes, you're just a peach, aren't you. And the best thing is you totally fail to see the irony in you calling NJ residents unfriendly or whatever exactly it was that you said.
Yet again - what did you come here for? Advice (because zero questions were asked)? To vent? What do you want from us? Sounds like you're better off in the NC or VA or MD forums to ask people what the best places to live for recent college grads are.
BTW - it's not "CaptainOFNJ." It's "CaptainNJ." For all you know, "Captain" is that poster's nickname and he put "NJ" after it because he lives here. Grow up.
Also BTW - opinions can't be wrong. Yet again, grow up. Between what you've written here and your attitude, you sound 19. Not surprised you're the ripe old age of "incoming college sophomore." It's okay, when I was that age I thought I knew a lot, too. Funny thing is I'm not that much older than you but you grow up a lot during and after college. However, you are a good writer, I will give you that. Nice vocabulary. Westfield did you some good I guess, even though seems you can't stand it.
IMO its not the place for a college sophomore to be making decisions for the family. It is your Mom and Dads decision to make. If your Dad is/has been long term unemployed, but Mom has a steady government job, packing up and moving to NC is probably not a great move at this point. Especially if your parents are mid to late 50s.
if they decide to move, so be it. But it makes sense for your Mom to grind it out for another few years while all your siblings graduate and she makes it to retirement age. At that point moving would likely make sense.
You are like 19 or 20 and can simply choose to live in NC if you want. You already go to school there and could continue to live there year round if so desired. Really need to butt out on the family moving issue. its an issue between your Dad and your Mom, not something that you should be involved in imo.
It's North Carolina. It's just another state. My husband and I moved from North Carolina to New Jersey in the '90s for a job. It was a really good job, too. The grass isn't greener down south.
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