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I know this will throw people off here. Let me explain.
I lived in Bergen County since 1992. I grew up in Fort Lee, and I still live there. I went to school there.
I noticed that people in Bergen tend to be insular and hang out with people that they grew up with rather than hang around with transplants or outsiders. It's hard to make friends here. It's hard to know people here. I had a rough time of knowing people when I attended Fort Lee High because it was more of a clique. As I grew older, I come to realize it happens at churches, restaurants, sports bars and anywhere. It seems people don't want to talk others that they don't already know. It just seems people are more aloof and unwelcoming. It's like people have their own lives and they have no interest in getting to know others.
is it really the case in Bergen County or am I imagining things?
That has not been my experience at all since moving to Bergen County 2 years ago. People have been welcoming. We’ve made some friends which are basically other parents at my kid’s school. It usually starts off with inviting the kids to birthday parties and then you start mingling with other parents and see who you vibe with. I also participate in adult sports activities in town that has helped me meet people. For the most part, people are friendly and welcoming. I don’t consider myself and extrovert but I’ve had an easy time feeling like part of the community.
I know this will throw people off here. Let me explain.
I lived in Bergen County since 1992. I grew up in Fort Lee, and I still live there. I went to school there.
I noticed that people in Bergen tend to be insular and hang out with people that they grew up with rather than hang around with transplants or outsiders. It's hard to make friends here. It's hard to know people here. I had a rough time of knowing people when I attended Fort Lee High because it was more of a clique. As I grew older, I come to realize it happens at churches, restaurants, sports bars and anywhere. It seems people don't want to talk others that they don't already know. It just seems people are more aloof and unwelcoming. It's like people have their own lives and they have no interest in getting to know others.
is it really the case in Bergen County or am I imagining things?
The Northeast Corridor is often thought of as the Clique-est part of the nation, with NYC Metro being the worst, and Philly being the least. I hear DC is pretty bad too because it is mostly people from not from DC thanks to Federal jobs.
NYC is also very insular; in the real parts, not the fake NYers. The gentrified areas are full of transplants that like to call themselves NYers, and then mingle with other transplants.
Southern California I hear can be hard to make friends for the very same reasons. If you want super friendly, outgoing, then go to the Midwest, or South.
But if you grew up in Fort Lee, don’t you have your circle there already?
Not really. I was at the Middle School, and then I dropped out in 1995 at high school. I did not have any friends there. I was born in NYC, and I went to elementary school in the city. I never really grew up with most of my classmates there.
I can definitely see this being true in some of the smaller towns. Fort Lee and Fair Lawn are both huge (and have changed a lot in the last 30 years) so I would think less so. But in some of the small towns, plenty of folks who grew up there, whose parents still live 2 blocks away, hanging out with their childhood friends, etc.
Bergen County was always a status thing. It's one of the richest counties in the whole country. People pay a premium just to say they live in Bergen County.
NJ in general tends to be cliquey though. Some parts worse than others.
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