I want to move back to New York. So WHY do i get so much FLACK for wanting to return ?

[11KAP]

i don't know. maybe they don't like nyc and just want you to feel the same way.

[Lucy Striker]

Hey there,

I know exactly how you feel and what you're saying. I moved out of New York and traveled around the country for a bit. I had spent so much money in NYC it was outrageous, and I really wanted to be able to save AND to camp/hike most of the National Parks and Forests in the US. I also wanted to return to school and finish up a few classes so I could continue to medical school. My original plan was to stay in the upper midwest (my partner's family is here, and we know lots of really lovely people) for a year...but, life happens, and it seems it will be more like three. Recently, I have been depressed about leaving New York, and fight with myself constantly about what constitutes a "good decision." Really, were you able to do things you always wanted that you couldn't afford in NYC? I was and am...but I still miss the fire of the place (I grew up in New York too, so my folks are there). The public transit, even, the museums, the ability to walk so much, the diversity from people to restaurants that just doesn't exist elsewhere, the quantity of political lectures and other events...so, so many things, right there. Standing on my roof at night, listening to music, looking out at the city. These things that I cannot explain. I DON'T MISS the CRAZY rent, the relatively high price of other goods (utilities, food, etc.), the ROACHES (apartments just have them...always it seemed), the lack of full-time jobs with benefits that 90,000 other people weren't competing for. But...does it make sense to go back?

Now? No.

Ever? Hell yes. (Though there are other major cities I would love to live in. But I just know that's the life for me!)

Where are you in your life? At what point? Where do you get your joy...and where would you get it back in New York? Is it real, or is it nostalgia (I ask myself this constantly, as it was hard living at times). But I really do believe, fully, that when you find HOME you JUST KNOW. If that's the case, well, damn...you only get one go at this thing. Don't listen to anyone else spitting their nonsense. People have reasons that aren't always in your best interest. I would do a cost of living/salary analysis and figure out how much money you have (in assets too) and what kind of life that would give you in NYC...and job prospects. Do the research, and when you figure out how to make it work, you'll KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU. Have the heart to do it, all the way.

In solidarity,
Lucy

[Mr.BadGuy]

Originally Posted by 11KAP

i don't know. maybe they don't like nyc and just want you to feel the same way.

That has to be part of it. I have lived in four states and five cities now and my wife and I will be moving again at the end of the year. I have to say that of anywhere I've lived, I got the most flack FOR SURE when I announced I was moving to NYC. The people we knew had a very negative and dare I say, outdated impression of the city. Mentally, they were stuck in the Beame/Koch years and envisioned some kind of post-apocalyptic nightmare of tenement apartments, muggings and assaults on every corner, rape in every park, and cockroaches crawling up every wall.

Originally Posted by Lucy Striker

Recently, I have been depressed about leaving New York, and fight with myself constantly about what constitutes a "good decision." Really, were you able to do things you always wanted that you couldn't afford in NYC?

I have as well. This is for sure the most exciting city I have ever lived in, and I'm from D.C. I am sad that I didn't get to enjoy as much of the city as I wanted. Even the networking events can be very pricey...I'm talking upwards of $100 just to get in the door. On the other hand, I saw some good shows (Jane's Addiction, Angry Samoans, The Waldos), hung out at clubs like Pyramid, and got to meet some interesting people, including legends of the NYC downtown scene like Syl Sylvain and Walter Lure. It is bittersweet.

It's also human nature to second-guess major life decisions and wonder if what we've done in the past was right or wrong. I think this is true whether we're moving to NYC or somewhere else.