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I am a parent of 2 child (both born in USA) migrated from South East ASIA in 1998.
My son, a high school senior, actively participating all extra curriculum activities in his school (athletic program, active member of National Honor Society, Science Bowl etc). Only time we had to send him to special classes (Total of 12 weekend classes) for SAT preparation as he is little weak in writing. His SAT score is 2100, ACT 32, applied to MIT (his application is deferred), NYU, Columbia. 2 of his friends from same school (one from Indian descent, other one is white American) have been accepted in Harvard & Columbia.
My daughter who is in 6th grade, has been an honor student also participating other activities. Two of my nieces (elder one graduated from NYU, younger one graduated from Brooklyn Tech last year) too did not have to go for specialized tutoring.
We never heard of the term "tiger parent", only thing we made sure that our children complete their home work and any other class project.We regularly attend PTA meeting (Parents -Teacher meeting), talk to teachers to see where our children need improvement etc.We let them enjoy rest of their evening/weekend once they completed their school work. Most of my relatives are also doing the same.
We let them enjoy rest of their evening/weekend once they completed their school work. Most of my relatives are also doing the same.
I find it hard to believe the impression you're trying to give, i.e., all your child had to do was finish his school work on time to get deferred admission to MIT. It's a very rigorous institution so there's no way that that is all it takes to get admitted.
They are pretty common and the ones who get into top universities ALL come from that background. They did a lot of WORK to get into a top university. People of any race who get into a top university are either wealthy, and or did they did substantial work to get into the university.
A guy I know as a teenager in high school (he was Latino) had written for the New York Times in high school. So he got into Cornell. You're competing with that kind of talent base when you want to apply to a top school, graduate or undergraduate.
You have to have a good portfolio along with your good grades to get into a top school, so the parents of kids who make it (of any race) tended to invest a lot of money and time in their kids educations. I didn't meet dirt poor Asians in the Ivy League, but I certainly met plenty of well off ones. A minimum wage person working in the Chinese restaurant isn't sending their kid to Harvard or any of the Ivies. But a Tiger mom certainly is sending her kids to a top university.
This.
People don't realize that these institutions expect a whole lot more than just good grades - if you don't have enough extra curricular activities to fill out pages upon pages of the application process, in addition to stellar academic credentials, you don't stand much of a chance at all of getting in.
I learned this the hard way myself back when I graduated from HS - we had moved to this country when I was 14, and where I'm originally from, they only look at your grades without caring much for extra-curriculars. My mom didn't even go to college and my dad did his undergrad from some so-so uni back home. We had no idea and no guidance on what it takes to get into a place like MIT/Harvard etc. I did really well in HS (GPA close to 4.0) but had very little to put on the sections of the applications about outside-school activities. Being super shy didn't help either.
Meanwhile my peers had parents and relatives who knew all along exactly what it takes to get to MIT/Harvard etc., and had prepared them accordingly since a very young age. They came from families that made sure they took part in sports, music, volunteering, travel abroad etc. etc on top of getting as much extra tutoring as necessary for their AP courses and SAT prep, since even before middle school, if you can believe it.
I find it hard to believe the impression you're trying to give, i.e., all your child had to do was finish his school work on time to get deferred admission to MIT. It's a very rigorous institution so there's no way that that is all it takes to get admitted.
I cant force you to believe what i said . My son had to take SAT when he was in 7th grade for a special program offered by Johns Hopkins University, his SAT score was 1300 (we did not send him to that program despite being accepted).
One important information I failed to mention in my 1st post. Both of my children are in Gifted & Talented program (son from 2nd grade, daughter 5th grade).
I am not trying to brag about whatever success my children have achieved, I am thankful that I got the opportunity to give my children a better life, an opportunity to give them good education.
I sincerely believe that if you make sure your kids are doing their home work, regularly talk to teachers about your kids performance & take appropriate steps accordingly, instill in your kids mind that education along with hard work is very important - they will excel in their life.
I cant force you to believe what i said . My son had to take SAT when he was in 7th grade for a special program offered by Johns Hopkins University, his SAT score was 1300 (we did not send him to that program despite being accepted).
One important information I failed to mention in my 1st post. Both of my children are in Gifted & Talented program (son from 2nd grade, daughter 5th grade).
I am not trying to brag about whatever success my children have achieved, I am thankful that I got the opportunity to give my children a better life, an opportunity to give them good education.
I sincerely believe that if you make sure your kids are doing their home work, regularly talk to teachers about your kids performance & take appropriate steps accordingly, instill in our kids mind that education along with hard work is very important - they will excel in their life.
While those things are important, other things that demonstrate talent and intellectual interests are also important. Such as study abroad, interest in music or the arts, sports, etc. Things like volunteering can go a long way in bolstering your application and making you stand out. Of course preparing for AP tests help too, students from good backgrounds are often able to place out of certain classes at college with AP credit.
I cant force you to believe what i said . My son had to take SAT when he was in 7th grade for a special program offered by Johns Hopkins University, his SAT score was 1300 (we did not send him to that program despite being accepted).
One important information I failed to mention in my 1st post. Both of my children are in Gifted & Talented program (son from 2nd grade, daughter 5th grade).
I am not trying to brag about whatever success my children have achieved, I am thankful that I got the opportunity to give my children a better life, an opportunity to give them good education.
I sincerely believe that if you make sure your kids are doing their home work, regularly talk to teachers about your kids performance & take appropriate steps accordingly, instill in your kids mind that education along with hard work is very important - they will excel in their life.
Are you suggesting that all the kids that got rejected by MIT just didn't do their homework and had uncaring parents? I took a bunch of AP courses (equivalent almost to an entire year's worth of freshman college courses), was in the 99th percentile on state exams, received technical awards from Rensselaer Polytechnic (and several academic awards every single year of high school), had a GPA close to 4.0...but my peers had a metric ton more sports, volunteering, music, SAT prep etc. and even though I would routinely set the curve on tests at school, they got into much better schools than I did. Had I known about all that goes into a solid college application, I would've tried to do the same myself. Alas, I entered the system way too late and had no support system to guide me whatsoever, so I ended up at a mediocre state school instead. It didn't help that the best my parents could send me to was an average public high school either.
I'm sorry, but I think there are lots of details you're either intentionally omitting or are just plain blind to.
Last edited by ElysianEagle; 01-04-2016 at 05:35 PM..
I am a parent of 2 child (both born in USA) migrated from South East ASIA in 1998.
My son, a high school senior, actively participating all extra curriculum activities in his school (athletic program, active member of National Honor Society, Science Bowl etc). Only time we had to send him to special classes (Total of 12 weekend classes) for SAT preparation as he is little weak in writing. His SAT score is 2100, ACT 32, applied to MIT (his application is deferred), NYU, Columbia. 2 of his friends from same school (one from Indian descent, other one is white American) have been accepted in Harvard & Columbia.
My daughter who is in 6th grade, has been an honor student also participating other activities. Two of my nieces (elder one graduated from NYU, younger one graduated from Brooklyn Tech last year) too did not have to go for specialized tutoring.
We never heard of the term "tiger parent", only thing we made sure that our children complete their home work and any other class project.We regularly attend PTA meeting (Parents -Teacher meeting), talk to teachers to see where our children need improvement etc.We let them enjoy rest of their evening/weekend once they completed their school work. Most of my relatives are also doing the same.
You have described precisely the students who are admitted to Columbia or MIT.
Speaking from actual experience.
Are you suggesting that all the kids that got rejected by MIT just didn't do their homework and had uncaring parents? I took a bunch of AP courses (equivalent almost to an entire year's worth of freshman college courses), was in the 99th percentile on state exams, received technical awards from Rensselaer Polytechnic, had a GPA close to 4.0...but my peers had a metric ton more sports, volunteering, music, SAT prep etc. and even though I would routinely set the curve on tests at school, they got into much better schools than I did. Had I known about all that goes into a solid college application, I would've tried to do the same myself. Alas, I entered the system way too late and had no support system to guide me whatsoever, so I ended up at a mediocre state school instead.
I'm sorry, but I think there are lots of details you're either intentionally omitting or are just plain blind to.
I think you are missing the point. I am not trying to say it is easy to get admitted in to MIT/Harvard if your child doing their home work only. What I meant is by properly guiding your child, making sure they are doing home work. other project works, talking to teachers will help your kids to excel (not necessarily meant that they will be admitted in to a Ivy league college). My son may not be accepted in to MIT/Columbia etc. but hopefully will be accepted to a decent college with his SAT score as well as other extra curriculum activities. Believe or not we did not do anything special for our kids for whatever he achieved so far, that is what I am trying to say here.
I work with tons of Asians and went to schools with tons of Asians. In particular Chinese Students.
You have to take their GPA and SAT scores with a huge grain of salt. They are inflated.
First many go to "cram schools", go to Flushing and there are 9-5 summer tutor sessions where kids do entire school year ahead of time. My two friends parents enrolled them for instance summer after ninth grade a whole intensive summer of going over tenth grade work with same text books. They had a huge head start. Then they hired expensive private SAT tutors to go over SAT. My HS they actually hired "illegally" contributors of questions to current SAT. Then many work zero part time or summer jobs or do much sports or errands around house. Study is their 100% focus.
My tenth grade for instance. I was on track team, a few clubs, had a part time job, a full time summer job. Some days I do track 3-5, scarf down food, do a part time job 6-9 pm in retail, come home take out trash, do laundry etc. then in last 15-20 minutes squeeze in home work or many on bus in morning. And we had four kids in a small house
Compare that to the richer Asian kids near me, 1 -2 kids in a larger house with a maid and lawn service, no chores and parents on top of then to do at least 3-4 hours or homework each night.
In reality in real world there is no way to "curve" their GPA to a blue collar or inner city kids GPA. But I tell you what the rich Asian kid who almost got a perfect GPA in my rich HS in Long Island I bet you the kid in a crack head, gang ridden part of the worst part of the Bronx who got a B average that was a greater accomplishement.
I cant force you to believe what i said . My son had to take SAT when he was in 7th grade for a special program offered by Johns Hopkins University, his SAT score was 1300 (we did not send him to that program despite being accepted).
One important information I failed to mention in my 1st post. Both of my children are in Gifted & Talented program (son from 2nd grade, daughter 5th grade).
I am not trying to brag about whatever success my children have achieved, I am thankful that I got the opportunity to give my children a better life, an opportunity to give them good education.
I sincerely believe that if you make sure your kids are doing their home work, regularly talk to teachers about your kids performance & take appropriate steps accordingly, instill in your kids mind that education along with hard work is very important - they will excel in their life.
Both of my parents never even went to High School, could care less if I did home work, never went to school things, were dirt poor, never made me lunch for school in HS or gave me any money for lunch or clothes since age of 12. And between chores, working to pay for clothes and food homework was something you had to do after 11pm if you were not exhusted.
All of my friends and siblings and cousins 100% have graduate degrees and around 40% post graduate degrees, doctors, lawyers, Principals.
I feel bad for my kids in that they dont have to work during HS and I can help them with college. Poverty, hungry, lack of clothes, living in a dangerous neighborhood are great motivators.
I dont think you can instill in a kids mind anything. My kids all they see is my corner office at work, beach house and new cars. And sadly they are in that stupid Gifted and Talented program. Which overinflates their ego.
My kids are they really achieving anything? I pay for laptops, Ipads, high speed internet, go to all their programs, run to staples for supplies, drive them early or pick up late for school projects, they dont have to work even let them skip chores if tests or projects due.
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