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I am posting this thread out of place and hoping that it does not go to another forum because I want to get advice from New Yorkers in general, since the topic I am going to cover is very much prevalent here: child neglect and abuse. My husband and I were at Western Beef, in the North Shore part of Staten Island shopping for groceries. This area of Staten Island is semi-ghettoish, and it has many residents of different countries. Many residents own their own homes, and drive nice cars. About three minutes into our shopping, I heard these terrible cries from a baby. Since babies cry, I shrug it off. I continued shopping but. since I moved out of range for some time, did not hear it for some time. My husband was shopping at another part of the store, and came back later. He was also disturbed by the cries of the baby. About ten to fifteen minutes later, I heard those terrible cries again as I came across these two older Afro-American- women. I am citting races or nationalities simply to make it clearer, and not offend anyone. One had the baby about 11 months old, sitting in shopping cart with no child seat. He appeared well-dressed, and healthy, and was histerically crying, his nose was running, he had turned red in the face, and his tears had wetted all of his face and neck. The sounds of his cries could not be ignored, except for these two ladies. Many people stopped and watch, and kept on moving. I watched for a while hopping that either one of these two ladies would come to his rescue, and both totally ignored him, over, and over, and over. I kept following them, and observing hoping that they will pick him up. Finally, I went to one of them and offered my help, asked if that was her baby, she said "No" I then asked her why was that child crying so much, and so hysterically that he could not even breathe! Her response was, "he is spoiled, because he gets picked up a lot. And not in friendly terms, either. I said maybe the child is hungry, scared, or uncomfortable in that hard seat. They ignored me again. By this time, a young Latin male was also observing them, and made eye contact with me, as if saying "when are they going to do something about it." He appeared to be of Mexican descent, and I know that they threat their children very lovingly, no matter how poor they are. These ladies went to the check-out, and so did the male observing them. and we also followed to pay for our groceries. I discussed it with my husband whether we should called the police, and he said "mind your business, if you want to get out of here alive." We do not live in that area. That baby continued wailing, and wailing, and wailing all through the parking lot, and as I watched them getting into their SUV the baby had stopped crying, because by now one of them was forced to pick him up, in order to get him into the car. My husband was driving so I was not able to get their license plate number. On the ride home, I was very upset with my husband, for not allowing me to interfere more. We treat our dog better, than that little tyke was being treated. And if this is the way they treat him in public, imagine the treatment he gets at home, when they are alone with him! My conscience have been bothering me a lot, since then. WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE?
From what I read it seems like the women were doing what my mom used to do with me and my older sister...let us cry till we exhaust ourselves and fall asleep.
Kids act up and have a tantrum, especially in stores. Like the woman said "he is spoiled." He might have wanted to get out of the cart or wanted something from a shelf didn't get what he wanted and started to cry.
Not everyone choses to coddle a child when they cry.
Did you see these women hit the child, or speak harsh to the child?
I don't know. If the child was not physically abused or being neglected to the point he/she could hurt themselves then their guardians were probably doing exactly what they said, trying to break them out of being spoiled. I have seen it many times. Sometimes a child will just cut up for no reason and nothing you do will stop them until they tire themselves out. With so many things being said in the news about Child Abuse things like this raise a red flag, so I understand your feelings but once you mentioned it and the woman explained, I don't know how much more you can do or should want to do. I have seen kids throw themselves in the aisles of grocery stores because their parent wouldn't buy the brand of cereal they wanted. My youngest brother would throw fits if he didn't eat but would not say he was hungry. My neice would hold her breath and fall out on the floor if she did not get her way. The list goes on and on and on and one of the ways to break them out of it and to get them to say what is going on (without you being a mind reader) is to ignore them and let the tantrum pass.
I can hear it now...What's wrong? Are you hungry? Are you hurt? Are you wet? Do you have to go to the bathroom? Please tell me what is wrong with you. And the only response is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
[quote=SeventhFloor;4072709]so let's say you went to the cops...what would you have said?[/quote Everything I said above. The policeman could have gathered information that I could not. Maybe these women were "nannies" and obviously not caring for this baby appropriatedly. I know babies cry, but his crying was not a NORMAL way of crying. He was not old enough to ask for anything off a shelve, and he was not taking a "temper tantrum." He was obviously in total discomfort and probably in great pain. This child was red all over his little face, chooking on his tears, and having difficulty breathing, and they did nothing to calm him down, comfort him, or reassure him. I have never heard a baby cry so terribly loud! I would love to hear from MOTHERS.
Coming from a place where strict discipline is enforced in my culture. (I'm asian) It's better to not interfere. You actually did that baby a favor by not saying anything more or else you would've gotten the mother more angry. And assuming she is negligent of caring for her child it would only make it worse for the kid. I've seen my share and believe me no matter how much you wanna do something, sometimes its better not to. I guess all you can really do is pray for them... =T
Next time... could you please make your post into paragraphs? It's very difficult to read when it's just a wall of text.
Some people have a decent attention span (not saying that I do, actually) and find it easier to read as a single post. Maybe readers who can't absorb the equivalent of a page and a half (if that) of double-spaced typing should copy and paste into several text documents -- as many as s/he desires -- and return to the thread.
As to the issue at hand, I do not believe it is possible to spoil a child under the age of two. Would I have intervened? Can't say. I do think that children cry for a reason, that ignoring the cries turn the child into very angry and aggressive youngster who acts out and bullies others.
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