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How does a person know if they have the ability, the temperament, to live in New York City? Obviously, certain people would have a much harder time handling it, while some people fit perfectly with the environment?
Me? I'm trying to figure out, what type of place I fit the best with the lifestyle. I recently came back from winter vacatioin in NYC. Before, I always wanted to live there, but now I'm having doubts to whether I'm the type of person who can handle living there. As much as I hate to admit it, maybe I'm a west-coaster.
One longtime standard (think I saw in the Times a few years back, and it's true) is that when friends or relations fly in to visit you, it WOULD NOT EVEN OCCUR TO YOU to go and pick them up!
We have similar conversations in the Chicago forum once in a while. Our winters are even more harsh.
My personal take has always been this: if you don't fall in love with a place within the first day or two of being there, then you're probably not cut out for it. You may eventually come to accept and tolerate your surroundings, but whether or not you can eventually tolerate it is an entirely different question from whether or not you're meant to be there. Every time I have moved to some place, my gut instincts were eventually confirmed, for good or for ill. For instance, I moved to downstate Illinois, completely out of my element. Felt like it wasn't a good fit for me, and sure enough, I grew to hate it. Later, I moved to Pittsburgh, expecting before I even got there to not like it much. Within 10 minutes of arriving there, I felt like I was at home. Loved it and didn't want to leave it, but circumstances kinda forced me to return home.
Bottom line, I guess: trust your instincts. If you think you can't hack NYC, then you probably can't. And that's not a value judgment (even as a Chicgoan I don't think I could do NYC). It's just common sense.
We have similar conversations in the Chicago forum once in a while. Our winters are even more harsh.
My personal take has always been this: if you don't fall in love with a place within the first day or two of being there, then you're probably not cut out for it. You may eventually come to accept it, but whether or not you can eventually tolerate your surroundings is an entirely different question from whether or not you're meant to be there. Every time I have moved to some place, my gut instincts were eventually confirmed, for good or for ill. For instance, I moved to downstate Illinois, completely out of my element. Felt like it wasn't a good fit for me, and sure enough, I grew to hate it. Later, I moved to Pittsburgh, expecting before I even got there to not like it much. Within 10 minutes of arriving there, I felt like I was at home. Loved it and didn't want to leave it, but circumstances kinda forced me to return home.
Bottom line, I guess: trust your instincts. If you think you can't hack NYC, then you probably can't. And that's not a value judgment (even as a Chicgoan I don't think I could do NYC). It's just common sense.
Wow great post Drover! Seriously! That really really helps me a lot. I'm kind of in a stage where I'm making a lot of big decisions. I'm almost done with school, so I want to find "MY place". I actually moved to Chicago last summer (2008), even though I was only there on and off since.
You're right, I think everyone has a certain feeling they get when they go to a certain place. When I first visited Chicago, my gut instinct was that I don't hate it, but I don't love it either. But I chose to move here sort of "temporarily" just until I finish school. And I was right about my gut instinct....I really don't dislike Chicago to any degree. I think it's a great, wonderful, classy city. Yet, I know it's not the place FOR ME.
Although, when I visited NYC a few years ago, I really loved it. I got such a great feeling from it. I think I loved it because back then, my main interest in life were fun and partying, which is great and all, but I've changed since then to want more stability. And so maybe my gut instinct was right both times. Last time, maybe it was right for me then. And now, perhaps it's not right for me anymore.
This time when I went to NYC, I know I'm generalizing but, it just felt like everyone there was dead. Everything seems so difficult and such a struggle, I don't think I liked it this time that much.
Also, when I go to certain places like LA, I get a really bad feeling. It's fun to visit, but other than that, I really don't like it.
How does a person know if they have the ability, the temperament, to live in New York City? Obviously, certain people would have a much harder time handling it, while some people fit perfectly with the environment?
Me? I'm trying to figure out, what type of place I fit the best with the lifestyle. I recently came back from winter vacatioin in NYC. Before, I always wanted to live there, but now I'm having doubts to whether I'm the type of person who can handle living there. As much as I hate to admit it, maybe I'm a west-coaster.
I'ma native from LA that has lived in NY for awhile! You should visit again remembering why you wanted to live here and spend time with NYers! Stay away from midtown as most NYers would never live their and actually don't even like going there! My favorite thing about NY is its people!
Here's an East Coast-West Coast thought or two. Years ago I was driving for the first time in San Francisco. I made a typical New York turn in an intersection, and I saw this blond surfer type (they all look that way to me, sorry) hopping up and down in indignation in my rear-view mirror. It seems I had turned in front of him in a crosswalk and, to his mind, had INVADED HIS SPACE!
Well, in NYC, what I did happens a million times a day and nobody thinks twice about it ... perhaps I was 15-20 feet away from him when I crossed his path. In New York, the sense of personal space and the rhythm is very different ... basically, if you can turn in front of somebody and NOT BREAK THEIR STRIDE then you're OK.
Exhibit No. 2 ... watch the NBA. Look at how the Western teams play defense, not to mention offense, compared with the Eastern teams. The Western teams waltz up and down the floor like it's the All-Star Game! In the East, they fight over every inch ... it's a reflection of how we live, I believe. The Knicks are playing Western ball under that Tom Selleck style guy D'Antoni, but it can't last! At the Garden, deep down, they want to see the ball moved cautiously around, and hold up the D-Fence signs.
Don't know if that stuff works for you. Not even sure for myself, having spent a fair amount of time out West, too.
Wow great post Drover! Seriously! That really really helps me a lot. I'm kind of in a stage where I'm making a lot of big decisions. I'm almost done with school, so I want to find "MY place". I actually moved to Chicago last summer (2008), even though I was only there on and off since.
You're right, I think everyone has a certain feeling they get when they go to a certain place. When I first visited Chicago, my gut instinct was that I don't hate it, but I don't love it either. But I chose to move here sort of "temporarily" just until I finish school. And I was right about my gut instinct....I really don't dislike Chicago to any degree. I think it's a great, wonderful, classy city. Yet, I know it's not the place FOR ME.
Although, when I visited NYC a few years ago, I really loved it. I got such a great feeling from it. I think I loved it because back then, my main interest in life were fun and partying, which is great and all, but I've changed since then to want more stability. And so maybe my gut instinct was right both times. Last time, maybe it was right for me then. And now, perhaps it's not right for me anymore.
This time when I went to NYC, I know I'm generalizing but, it just felt like everyone there was dead. Everything seems so difficult and such a struggle, I don't think I liked it this time that much.
Also, when I go to certain places like LA, I get a really bad feeling. It's fun to visit, but other than that, I really don't like it.
I wanted to comment on the quoted post, particularly the part I have highlighted. Of course people's perceptions of places and what those places have to offer can change drastically as they get older. My college town was a great fit for me when I was 20. Fifteen years later, I couldn't conceive of living in that dump. Similarly, while Pittsburgh was a good fit for me in my mid to late 20s, I'm not sure I could move back there now unless there was a massive cultural shift.
Meanwhile, Chicago proper is a good fit for me now; but as I approach my late 30s and have a child on its way, I'm finding that most of my metropolitan itches have been scratched, and those that haven't will just have to wait until said child is out out of the nest. I'd like to stay in Chicago, but it's far more important that my child receive a quality education in a relatively thug-free environment. That's hard to find in the city unless you can afford private or parochial schools. So, it's off to the suburbs the wife and I go within the next few years.
Moral of my long-winded anecdotal story, again: if it feels right and fits your needs, move there. If it doesn't and it doesn't, then don't. Best of luck to you while you make your decision.
How does a person know if they have the ability, the temperament, to live in New York City? Obviously, certain people would have a much harder time handling it, while some people fit perfectly with the environment?
Me? I'm trying to figure out, what type of place I fit the best with the lifestyle. I recently came back from winter vacatioin in NYC. Before, I always wanted to live there, but now I'm having doubts to whether I'm the type of person who can handle living there. As much as I hate to admit it, maybe I'm a west-coaster.
Good question but it sounds like your inner voice is already telling you something.I came to NY to go to college and never left.I came with the idea of going to college and going back to where I came from but somehow I knew within a few months that I would never leave...and that was the 70's when all of NY was considered a hell hole.
You say "maybe I'm a west coaster" . Does that mean that you are from the west coast? I can see where someone from California let's say would have a harder time with the NY thing.
When you were here on vacation,what made you start thinking this way?
Whatever you do,if you truly are conflicted,try to resolve it soon.There is nothing more annoying( or self defeating) than the people who never seem to figure it out and move back and forth aimlessly and endlessly between either NY and LA or between SF and Boston. I have known many such people in my life who have moved across the country multiple times and are never really happy on either side.
This time when I went to NYC, I know I'm generalizing but, it just felt like everyone there was dead. Everything seems so difficult and such a struggle, I don't think I liked it this time that much.
My sister says this. We both grew up there, but I moved away several years ago and haven't been back to visit. It's awful right now, but still "doable" if you got it in you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by aek11
Also, when I go to certain places like LA, I get a really bad feeling. It's fun to visit, but other than that, I really don't like it.
LA is worse off than NY. You're gut is right. Do NOT come here on a whim. Make sure you have a job WAITING FOR YOU when you get to the city OR unemployment benefits you can claim from another state. It's not what people think at all. Just read the roommate section of Craigslist and you'll see what I mean. ABSOLUTE FREAKIN WEIRDOS.
Exhibit No. 2 ... watch the NBA. Look at how the Western teams play defense, not to mention offense, compared with the Eastern teams. The Western teams waltz up and down the floor like it's the All-Star Game! In the East, they fight over every inch ... it's a reflection of how we live, I believe. The Knicks are playing Western ball under that Tom Selleck style guy D'Antoni, but it can't last! At the Garden, deep down, they want to see the ball moved cautiously around, and hold up the D-Fence signs.
Don't know if that stuff works for you. Not even sure for myself, having spent a fair amount of time out West, too.
Compared to the previous seasons and the hideous Isiah Thomas error, I'm sure Knick fans will take it for now.
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