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My family is not responsible for my disability and therefore indigence. It's their money and if you see it as selfish then that's how it is in your mind. In my mind, I borrow, I pay back and rarely do I borrow.
Yes, things happen. I had a wonderful career and job and then I got sick..real sick with a progressive illness. You may think my is family selfish.. and sometimes, so do I..BUT it's their money NOT mine and I have no right to define their behavior...only mine.
ETA: Just because some of my family live in 20,000 square feet houses, eat out all the time at extremely expensive restaurants, have the best of the best doesn't necessarily mean they are rich. Maybe, just maybe, they are in debt up to their eyeballs. Again, I don't care, it's not my business.
ya, they could be in debt, but my family would never stand by and watch me suffer while they dine at fancy restaurants ..regardless of if it was my own doing or not, unless I repeated the same mistakes then they would stop. I'd be the same way if I was wealthy..no way are my kids/nieces/nephews suffering if I can afford to help in any way. if they kept repeating the mistakes that put them in a bind, then ya, I would cut them off, but in situations like yours..oh no, I would never stand by like that. you're a way better person than I am for not being resentful of them letting you suffer losing a career due to an illness..wow (I hope you're doing better now, sorry to hear about your illness ). Not saying you should tell them what to do with their money either..but they just seem plain uncaring. they could at least take care of you, something.
she didn't even try to compromise. that and she tells me about her income and how her family pays her car payments and all the stuff she does that puts her in the hole. of course I could pay her back like 15 bucks..but that wasn't what she wanted..she wanted all the rest of it, now. that and didn't I say multiple times that I can pay her all the money I owe, in a few days? so I'm not sure what your point is, other than I'm rude and disrespectful. You'd think I was never going to pay her back...sheesh!
You should have immediately started paying her back, even if it was small increments, you wouldnt have such an issue now if you had - same with being responsible with your time sheet. It all revolves around you, forget if she has other debts she needs to pay but then again, it isn't about that, its her money, she is owed it in a REASONABLE period of time. But its obvious to all of us here you expect a hand out on your terms, have no respect for your friend, if you have it in savings then you should be paying her, you can replenish it from your check. You have a misplaced sense of entitlement that you really need to reevaluate in a big way.
And if you have SAVINGS it means you have some slush money, that you're not totally living outside of your means, pay her.
ya, they could be in debt, but my family would never stand by and watch me suffer while they dine at fancy restaurants ..regardless of if it was my own doing or not, unless I repeated the same mistakes then they would stop. I'd be the same way if I was wealthy..no way are my kids/nieces/nephews suffering if I can afford to help in any way. if they kept repeating the mistakes that put them in a bind, then ya, I would cut them off, but in situations like yours..oh no, I would never stand by like that. you're a way better person than I am for not being resentful of them letting you suffer losing a career due to an illness..wow (I hope you're doing better now, sorry to hear about your illness ). Not saying you should tell them what to do with their money either..but they just seem plain uncaring. they could at least take care of you, something.
I make in 2 months what my brother makes in a year. He lives within his means, has a fantastic savings acct & NEVER expects me to pay his way but is appreciative when I do. He has NEVER asked to borrow money even though he would be considered at federal poverty levels. Am I watching him suffer while I dine in fancy restraunts & see Cirque du Soleil shows in VIP seats? nope, he's not suffering, just living at a different lifestyle than I am. He eats Burger King, I while I am having steak so what. He is PROUD of his sister & what I have done FOR MYSELF BY MYSELF. You need to get rid of the sense of entitlement, the only thing you are entitled to is a paycheck for hours you work, oxygen & freedom.
I'm unsure about other banks, but you can't withdraw over X times per month without being fined a certain amount.
OP, I feel for you. We borrow off our friends and vice versa, buying tickets in advanced because they're hard to get or because someone in the group gets XYZ cheap. It really feels wrong to put trust in a friend, not do them any wrong before, and they come around and get mad at you (without giving a real reason).
There's nothing else you can really do besides just pay her and take her off your friend's list since $20 sounds like it's worth a friendship to your friend.
I make in 2 months what my brother makes in a year. He lives within his means, has a fantastic savings acct & NEVER expects me to pay his way but is appreciative when I do. He has NEVER asked to borrow money even though he would be considered at federal poverty levels. Am I watching him suffer while I dine in fancy restraunts & see Cirque du Soleil shows in VIP seats? nope, he's not suffering, just living at a different lifestyle than I am. He eats Burger King, I while I am having steak so what. He is PROUD of his sister & what I have done FOR MYSELF BY MYSELF. You need to get rid of the sense of entitlement, the only thing you are entitled to is a paycheck for hours you work, oxygen & freedom.
Ok, maybe suffering was the wrong word to use. I thought you meant that you weren't able to work and are having a hard time with basic necessities. my apologies. Also, where is this sense of entitlement that everyone seems to think I have because my savings isn't really savings..its for rent. I jsut needed somewehre to separate my school money that is for rent so I don't accidentally spend money I thought I had, on other things. I work 2 very low paying jobs (trying to find something better for 3 years and nothing), go to school full time and my only "fun" thing is dancing in a small company, which saves my sanity and doesn't cost much at all. I also still have chores to do so my apartment isn't a stye. I could be really entitled and ask my mother to come over and clean my apartment, but I'm not that low of a human being, she has enough on her plate. so its not like I"m not working for anything. nobody helps me and I never ask for anything. I was just saying that if I was really really really in a bind, my family wouldn't stand by and watch. they would do something, whether monetarily or take some kind of load off my plate. I'm fine on the basics..I just have to wait on my next paycheck and unfortunately, so does my friend. I did have a few dollars to give her, but again, she didn't want to have it. so I don't know what you think that I think I am entitled to, other than a few extra days to pay my friend all of this 45 dollars I owe her?
I think your friend should be more accomodating. I go to extreme lengths (because I care) to provide what I can for my friends, and vice versa. It doesn't seem like she should be all in a tizzy, I mean, I've had people give me tickets for free just to go hang out. But, I understand hard times. (remember, not everyone does)
The friend making more money shouldn't matter because she's probably living larger, spending way more money...maybe. She's not smoking crack is she? lol
the stupid and rude stuff was just little things that she was bothered by because I went to her about something that I was bothered by..nothing big and completely irrelevant. She's loaned me money before and I have always paid her back..even exactly when she says she needs it. this is the first time I've been "stuck" as far as paying her back. I'm not offended by her asking for the money..I'm offended by her not being able to wait a few days when I know she's fine (or maybe I don't). My friends who make about the same as I do have never reacted this way when I told them I can't pay them back for something until the end of the month, for example, and I always pay back. I never ask to borrow money either, its always been offered in situations like events and dance costumes (I dance in a company) and I always make myself clear that I need time to pay back.
I never said I was gonna make her wait long or that I'm NOT paying her back, that's just not how I am..because you're right, its not a gift. I get paid by my other job in a few days and I asked her to wait till then..she said no and I said I can't do it today then. but no, I"m not saying I'm in the right despite the fact that I forgot to turn in my time sheet. It was an honest mistake that never happens, but its not her business what I do with my money..or lack of it. she knows I know she makes double of my income..so its even ruder of her not to wait a few days. Not to mention..I think she wants to throw our friendship away over 45 bucks..and that's fine I guess. I dont need people who will let a few bucks stand between us, especially when I pay it back anyways.
If you're not actively asking to borrow money, yet different people are loaning it to you, then what are the circumstances precipitating the offer of money? I mean, a lot of people are on edge because of this economy. I don't know too many people falling all over themselves to lend other people money just for the heck of it. And, even if they do offer, you can always say no. If borrowing money from other people is consistently part of your lifestyle (even if you do pay it back!), you're not getting a clear picture of what it is you can afford. Be straight up with people and tell them if you can't afford to go to a concert or wherever, and no, you don't need them to pay your way, and you just need to sit this one out. Never allow the generosity of other people to be part of your financial plan. You may think that, if the shoe was on the other foot, you would react differently, but trust me, it gets really old, really fast.
Earlier, you posted that $45 for you is the difference between gas in your car and a meal, and here, you're posting that it's "a few bucks". Just because she makes twice what you make doesn't mean that she has twice the disposable income that you do. You've already stated that it's none of her business what you do with your money, yet you're implying that somehow it is your business why she needs that $45 right now. Ask yourself: are you being the friend she needs?
I'm unsure about other banks, but you can't withdraw over X times per month without being fined a certain amount.
OP, I feel for you. We borrow off our friends and vice versa, buying tickets in advanced because they're hard to get or because someone in the group gets XYZ cheap. It really feels wrong to put trust in a friend, not do them any wrong before, and they come around and get mad at you (without giving a real reason).
There's nothing else you can really do besides just pay her and take her off your friend's list since $20 sounds like it's worth a friendship to your friend.
ya, my bank only allows 6 transfers/month. I'm already at 4 I think. I really just can't keep taking money out of it and "pay it back".
I've never done anything "wrong" to her before..but ya, the whole buying concert tix in bulk is a big thing because you want to be able to sit together. she did give me her reasons why she's mad and finally said to mail her the money and that she' selling her ticket..so I take it she's done with the friendship. alrighty..I'm going with another friend anyways so its not like I'm not going now. oh well.
I think your friend should be more accomodating. I go to extreme lengths (because I care) to provide what I can for my friends, and vice versa. It doesn't seem like she should be all in a tizzy, I mean, I've had people give me tickets for free just to go hang out. But, I understand hard times. (remember, not everyone does)
The friend making more money shouldn't matter because she's probably living larger, spending way more money...maybe. She's not smoking crack is she? lol
I asked for some accomodation and no dice. she usually is though. ya I know she's living larger. she doesn't make a TON of money..just more than me. she's super straight lace..no crack head here lol.
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..regardless of if it was my own doing or not, unless I repeated the same mistakes then they would stop. I'd be the same way if I was wealthy..no way are my kids/nieces/nephews suffering if I can afford to help in any way. if they kept repeating the mistakes that put them in a bind, then ya, I would cut them off, but in situations like yours..oh no, I would never stand by like that. you're a way better person than I am for not being resentful of them letting you suffer losing a career due to an illness..wow (I hope you're doing better now, sorry to hear about your illness 
). Not saying you should tell them what to do with their money either..but they just seem plain uncaring. they could at least take care of you, something.
