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mir86....you'd probably get more sympathy from others here....but for the fact that you said..."If she made the same or less than me, I would draw out my savings for her"...those words tell me you have no right to feel "outraged....it's not that you can't but that you won't....2 big different things...it makes me wonder when you mention that previous fights with this other woman were because of rudeness on "her part"....
Yes, if she was legitimately suffering, I'd suffer my savings for her, but she isn't. No, I can't dip into it because I would be suffering (I'm having to take out hundreds for bills now because I didn't get paid and I still have other bills due once it arrives), but like I said, I would suffer if she was going to be really having an even tougher time than me. As for the comment about my other friend ..******y of you and a completely different issue went on there.
Anyways, so the consensus here is that I'm a bad person..got it. I guess this thread is done . There's clearly nothing else to say.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,098,022 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by mir86
ya, my bank only allows 6 transfers/month. I'm already at 4 I think. I really just can't keep taking money out of it and "pay it back".
I've never done anything "wrong" to her before..but ya, the whole buying concert tix in bulk is a big thing because you want to be able to sit together. she did give me her reasons why she's mad and finally said to mail her the money and that she' selling her ticket..so I take it she's done with the friendship. alrighty..I'm going with another friend anyways so its not like I'm not going now. oh well.
Honestly, unless she needs the money to buy food or something I do think she's just being impatient. I've never demanded anybody pay me back in a certain amount of time. I'm not rich but I don't live hand to foot either. You should have some savings stashed sway regardless, and I agree her income should have no bearing on when you pay her back. I hate how friendships are more like business relationships for some people. My friends I and I don't work like that, and most aren't particularly rich. If she ends the friendship over this I wouldn't waste any tears over it. But let this be a lesson to you.
Yes, if she was legitimately suffering, I'd suffer my savings for her, but she isn't.
Sadly you still don't get it, it's not up to you to decide her finances & if she is suffering. Pay her out of savings then pay yourself back, not a hard concept. Or you can ask mommy.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,098,022 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by mir86
Yes, if she was legitimately suffering, I'd suffer my savings for her, but she isn't. No, I can't dip into it because I would be suffering (I'm having to take out hundreds for bills now because I didn't get paid and I still have other bills due once it arrives), but like I said, I would suffer if she was going to be really having an even tougher time than me. As for the comment about my other friend ..******y of you and a completely different issue went on there.
Anyways, so the consensus here is that I'm a bad person..got it. I guess this thread is done . There's clearly nothing else to say.
I'm surprised the advice here is so uncompromising. Of course its the right thing to do to pay her back, but we all make mistakes, were all forgetful. Besides in a way you're doing your mate a favour by accompanying her to the concert. This is a friendship, not a business transaction. It's not like this is a habit of yours. People like her are unreasonable, and she actually sounds a bit bratty for demanding payment immediately unless its an emergency.
I was supposed to get paid today and I told a friend of mine that I'd pay the remaining 45 dollars for a concert ticket that I owe her. When she bought the tickets, I told her it was a bit much for me and she insisted she'd buy them and I can just pay her back but she never gave me specific due dates until now and she knows my pay has dropped and I've paid her almost half..which is tough on me but I know I owe her so I did. well anyways, I didn't realize that I forgot to turn in my time sheet for the job that was supposed to pay me today, so I didn't get paid and now its going to have to wait until next pay period. I tell her this and she demands I draw out of my savings cause she has bills to pay (and I don't??)...and she makes double what I make! I'm so outraged. I don't even know what to do..this is the second fight her and I have had in 2 weeks, over stupid and rude stuff on her end. If she made the same or less than me, I would just draw out my savings for her, but she makes double so how dare she tell me what to do with my money???
Easy, you owe her money and it doesn't matter a damn how much or little she makes. Perhaps -at least as you tell it - she is being tough, but the fact remains you owe her the money even if she's a millionaire.
I'm surprised the advice here is so uncompromising. Of course its the right thing to do to pay her back, but we all make mistakes, were all forgetful. Besides in a way you're doing your mate a favour by accompanying her to the concert. This is a friendship, not a business transaction. It's not like this is a habit of yours. People like her are unreasonable, and she actually sounds a bit bratty for demanding payment immediately unless its an emergency.
She didn't make a mistake though Trimac20...she never forgot anything?....maybe her friends just fed up with lending out money to "friends" that don't pay her back when they said they would....is that what you call "friendship?"...is that what your friends do to you?....If you ask me the only bratty one is the one who refuses to pay back what she owes without making a HUGE issue out of it....when there really was no need for her to do so...she just "felt" like it.
Mir - just wanted to say that I take your side in this issue - your "friend" being as demanding as she is would never be a friend of mine. I have a friend that will *buy* me things and doesn't expect me to pay him back, just because that's what he wants to do - now that's a friend worth keeping. So don't take all these posters saying that you need to pay up pronto seriously - life is too short to be hung up on being snippy and wanting "my money now!"
My parents have never loaned me money - they know I don't have much income, and they've only ever *given* me money, never expecting repayment. Great arrangement, no hard feelings, no hardship, no jealously because they live so much better than me. So, in a nutshell, loaning is bad, giving is good, and if someone is that worried about getting back $45 for a concert that she "begged" you to go with her, then I'd drag my feet into the next century as far as repayment goes, just to prove a point. Friendship is always greater than money in my book, which is why I have the friends that I do.
Interesting post.
Your friends that gives you things is worth keeping. Your parents give you things so you aren't jealous that they live better than you. You would drag your feet on paying this back because friendship is more important than money. Just not in this case, huh?
I guess as long as people are GIVING you something they are friends. If they expect something in return they are not.
Seems as if you don't understand the value of friendship or money.
And your parents have worked their whole lives and supported you in the process. Why would you belabor the fact that they live better than you? Do you think they started out in the same standard of living they have now? It seems as if you think they should lower their standard of living so you can live the life they worked for.
She didn't make a mistake though Trimac20...she never forgot anything?....maybe her friends just fed up with lending out money to "friends" that don't pay her back when they said they would....is that what you call "friendship?"...is that what your friends do to you?....If you ask me the only bratty one is the one who refuses to pay back what she owes without making a HUGE issue out of it....when there really was no need for her to do so...she just "felt" like it.
umm I did. first time ever that I forgot to turn in a time sheet and thus didn't get paid on time. I'm human, we make mistakes and I've never done this to anyone before. I always pay people back and its not like she loans me money all the time and when she does, she insists. I never ever ask.
and whoever said to bug my mommy...eff you. she has no money to give me. I'm a self supporting student. and I don't mooch off my parents.
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..******y of you and a completely different issue went on there. 
. There's clearly nothing else to say.
So don't take all these posters saying that you need to pay up pronto seriously - life is too short to be hung up on being snippy and wanting "my money now!" 
