friend demanding I pay her back now..when I can't.. (jealous, person)
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-Although she has every right to ask for payment since you do owe the $, and told her you'd pay on a certain day, your friend is definitely overreacting over what, $20?! Petty...very petty.
Well, let's turn that around and say how petty to not pay back the $20, when the OP obviously has it in the bank.
Pay her from your "savings" and pay your savings back when you get paid.
1. Didn't you say friend is now going to sell her ticket and you are going with someone else anyway? The tickets were bought in a block? Well, tell Friend #1 to whom you owe money to sell yours too - 2 are easier to sell than 1, and tell her to keep the money. She makes a little, you lose a little, game over and lesson learned.
2. Tell other friend you were planning on attending with very firmly that you cannot afford this, that going to a concert has rocked your world. Ask if s/he would like your ticket for another friend who has less financial worries, get the money, get the ticket, hand it off. Game over, lesson learned.
3. Tell your mom that you're in a pickle. Quit sending healthy food for a week, send Ramen crap and cash. Pay for ticket or as much as you can immediately with the cash. You won't die from eating Ramen noodles or I'd have been at room temperature a very long time ago. Game over, lesson learned.
4. I suspect if this were a bill collector about to shut off your lights or take you to court that you would simply take the money out of savings, pay the debt, and deal with rent on the back side. There's probably a late payment grace period on rent. Pay the damn money to your friend and make arrangements on your rent, utilities, or whatever else is biting you in the butt until you are right side up again.
5. Go to the concert on funds you could have used for necessities that you spontaneously gave away under pressure. Go with your second friend. Enjoy - and know you lost another friend over it. When you get back home you can decide if the original friendship was worth the cost of a ticket and a few hours of music.
6. Neither a borrower nor a lender be. Wise, wise words. I don't care how good of a friend they are, unless you have known them for a very long time and it simply doesn't matter in the bigger picture if you loan out your money, anything more than what you can afford to lose is too much. Sorta like going to the casino. Money tears apart couples, friends, and families. It's one of the hard lessons in life, to simply learn to say "no thank you, that just does not work for me" - but see how those 10 words could have saved you a lot of grief in the long run? My dad always said to assume you are never going to get paid back - consider loaned money as a gift - and too many times he has turned out to be right. I no longer lend money for more than 2 hours - unless someone is in a pinch and we can stop at the ATM on the way home, no, because their failure to pay would impact me and my family.
However you settle this, you owe your friend your apologies. You're in a mess from forgetting to turn in your own time sheet; bet that doesn't happen again....but she really shouldn't have to suffer the repercussions of your brain lapse. Apologize. Profusely. And in the future, just say no. To yourself. You will feel a whole lot better about yourself, even if you don't get to do everything you would like, if you are living within your means. That goes for poor students and millionaires - live within your means, always have a slush fund, and know your own boundaries.
I agreed to pay her on payday..she demanded it. I wasn't even sure I"d be able to afford all of the 45 bucks this paycheck..probably only 20 with this one..but I figured I'd wait till I saw what my check was before I told her that 20 was all I could afford at this time. Of cousre I feel bad that I messed up..how dare you make me some bratty inhumane person because I made a mistake? I'm not putting all the blame on her. the only thing I"m blaming her for, is not being accommodating and demanding I dip into my savings which when you're in college..at least for me, is for my rent, not concert tickets. that stuff comes out my paychecks. that's how I will do things until I have a professional job with real pay.
Also, to all of you saying I'm not paying her back, ever..read this thread. I said I can't pay her back NOW, but I can in a few days. reading comprehension skills 101 .
I didn't make you anything. 80 posts in and this is the first post I've seen you say that you feel bad in any way.
1. Didn't you say friend is now going to sell her ticket and you are going with someone else anyway? The tickets were bought in a block? Well, tell Friend #1 to whom you owe money to sell yours too - 2 are easier to sell than 1, and tell her to keep the money. She makes a little, you lose a little, game over and lesson learned.
Three tickets were bought. she was going to sell the odd seat.
2. Tell other friend you were planning on attending with very firmly that you cannot afford this, that going to a concert has rocked your world. Ask if s/he would like your ticket for another friend who has less financial worries, get the money, get the ticket, hand it off. Game over, lesson learned.
I almost did that, but she still needed my money so it would not have made a difference at this point.
3. Tell your mom that you're in a pickle. Quit sending healthy food for a week, send Ramen crap and cash. Pay for ticket or as much as you can immediately with the cash. You won't die from eating Ramen noodles or I'd have been at room temperature a very long time ago. Game over, lesson learned.
4. I suspect if this were a bill collector about to shut off your lights or take you to court that you would simply take the money out of savings, pay the debt, and deal with rent on the back side. There's probably a late payment grace period on rent. Pay the damn money to your friend and make arrangements on your rent, utilities, or whatever else is biting you in the butt until you are right side up again.
I did do that, for my bills already. I can't afford to do it for more stuff. I'm already going to be late one one of my bills anyways this week because I can't afford it until pay day. I just chose to pay my electric first since I need that more than a debt that I'll have to be 2 days late on. Also, I have no grace period on rent and how is paying a late payment going to make things better?
5. Go to the concert on funds you could have used for necessities that you spontaneously gave away under pressure. Go with your second friend. Enjoy - and know you lost another friend over it. When you get back home you can decide if the original friendship was worth the cost of a ticket and a few hours of music.
I was going to to go anyways, but this whole thing is sucking the excitement out of it. I know this friendship isn't worth the concert ticket but its not like this is a common occurrence. I would never throw a friendship away over money, I just wouldn't keep loaning to someone that couldn't pay me back. simple. that, and I am paying back anyways, so what's the point of this?
6. Neither a borrower nor a lender be. Wise, wise words. I don't care how good of a friend they are, unless you have known them for a very long time and it simply doesn't matter in the bigger picture if you loan out your money, anything more than what you can afford to lose is too much. Sorta like going to the casino. Money tears apart couples, friends, and families. It's one of the hard lessons in life, to simply learn to say "no thank you, that just does not work for me" - but see how those 10 words could have saved you a lot of grief in the long run? My dad always said to assume you are never going to get paid back - consider loaned money as a gift - and too many times he has turned out to be right. I no longer lend money for more than 2 hours - unless someone is in a pinch and we can stop at the ATM on the way home, no, because their failure to pay would impact me and my family.
look, I have loaned money myself before and I never rely on someone's paying me back, to pay my bills thereafter, the way my friend does. At that point, its a bonus once its paid back. I agree with your dad's mentality of assuming its never going to be paid back and that's how I'm wired. This, from a poor college kid...and I was raised to be hospitable. something a lot of you have no clue on. Also, I have known her long enough: 6 years.
However you settle this, you owe your friend your apologies. You're in a mess from forgetting to turn in your own time sheet; bet that doesn't happen again....but she really shouldn't have to suffer the repercussions of your brain lapse. Apologize. Profusely. And in the future, just say no. To yourself. You will feel a whole lot better about yourself, even if you don't get to do everything you would like, if you are living within your means. That goes for poor students and millionaires - live within your means, always have a slush fund, and know your own boundaries.
I did apologize to her, many times and I plan to apologize again. This is the only time I forgot to turn in my time sheet and it won't happen again. Again, I'm a responsible person who made a mistake..does that never happen to any of you? Either way, my apologies are not going to change her mind. she's the type that once she's made up her mind, there is no going back on it.
Isnt it common sense that I should feel bad?? thats how normal human beings are wired..
um, yes but we can't read your mind. Your OP is all about how we should feel sorry for you because your mean friend wants her money. You didn't say a word about feeling bad or remorseful about your part in the situation. If you felt bad about it, why did you even start this thread?
mir, she isn't telling you what you should do with your money. It's her money. You owe it to her. For a college student, you don't seem to have much going on upstairs.
You're going to get paid next week? When is your rent due? Out of the savings. Pay off the friend. Paycheck comes, you replace the withdrawn funds into the rent fund. Find a new friend.
Bob's your uncle!
mir86....you'd probably get more sympathy from others here....but for the fact that you said..."If she made the same or less than me, I would draw out my savings for her"...those words tell me you have no right to feel "outraged....it's not that you can't but that you won't....2 big different things...it makes me wonder when you mention that previous fights with this other woman were because of rudeness on "her part"....
This is why I don't hang around with people who like to engage in a lot of activities where a lot of money is going to be spent. I do things on the cheap and don't want to be pressured otherwise.
Also this is why I mostly just buy single concert tickets unless they are cheap enough where I can just give one away. Not only do I not have to worry about getting paid back, I usually get better seats just buying singles. Or find someone who's friend flaked out on them offering a better price than the box office.
I was supposed to get paid today and I told a friend of mine that I'd pay the remaining 45 dollars for a concert ticket that I owe her. When she bought the tickets, I told her it was a bit much for me and she insisted she'd buy them and I can just pay her back but she never gave me specific due dates until now and she knows my pay has dropped and I've paid her almost half..which is tough on me but I know I owe her so I did. well anyways, I didn't realize that I forgot to turn in my time sheet for the job that was supposed to pay me today, so I didn't get paid and now its going to have to wait until next pay period. I tell her this and she demands I draw out of my savings cause she has bills to pay (and I don't??)...and she makes double what I make! I'm so outraged. I don't even know what to do..this is the second fight her and I have had in 2 weeks, over stupid and rude stuff on her end. If she made the same or less than me, I would just draw out my savings for her, but she makes double so how dare she tell me what to do with my money???
Unless you can live with never seeing the money again, this is a great reason never to loan your friends money.
And unless you have a very tight, close friendship, or can handle losing a friend, this is why you should never borrow money from a friend.
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Either way, my apologies are not going to change her mind. she's the type that once she's made up her mind, there is no going back on it.
