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Because parents do not disipline their kids...parents try to be friends with their kids as well. They don't need friends they need parents.
I was watching the news story about the bus monitor that was being tormented by those kids and I thought...I would be picking up my teeth if I did that. My dad was the ruler and he ruled with an iron fist. But guess what? I was never hit-because my dad put the fear of god in me and I walked the straight line. Yes I screwed up but not to bad. If my kid ever hit me or talked back...I would lose my mind....
Because parents do not disipline their kids...parents try to be friends with their kids as well. They don't need friends they need parents.
I was watching the news story about the bus monitor that was being tormented by those kids and I thought...I would be picking up my teeth if I did that. My dad was the ruler and he ruled with an iron fist. But guess what? I was never hit-because my dad put the fear of god in me and I walked the straight line. Yes I screwed up but not to bad. If my kid ever hit me or talked back...I would lose my mind....
You can thank the social services system and child protective services, as well as a slew of new age "positive reinforcement" parenting books for this nonsense.
When I was a kid, I got beat with pretty much anything lying around. Ive been hit with rulers, belts of all kinds, a cane, and even a curtain rod. I spent hours on end in the corner. Almost all of this for talking back and nothing more. That is how you instill the fear of god.
Guess what, I never so much as got a detention, a speeding ticket or anything of the sort, and was a straight A student until I burnt out and I started to not give an F in high school.
I think thats the key thing missing now. When my parents were growing up, if you screwed up, your teacher, your next door neighbor and your grandma probably whipped your ass before your parents even got a crack. Now, kids call their parents by their first names, and tell them to shove it, all without picking their teeth out of the wall one by one.
You can thank the social services system and child protective services, as well as a slew of new age "positive reinforcement" parenting books for this nonsense.
When I was a kid, I got beat with pretty much anything lying around. Ive been hit with rulers, belts of all kinds, a cane, and even a curtain rod. I spent hours on end in the corner. Almost all of this for talking back and nothing more. That is how you instill the fear of god.
Guess what, I never so much as got a detention, a speeding ticket or anything of the sort, and was a straight A student until I burnt out and I started to not give an F in high school.
I think thats the key thing missing now. When my parents were growing up, if you screwed up, your teacher, your next door neighbor and your grandma probably whipped your ass before your parents even got a crack. Now, kids call their parents by their first names, and tell them to shove it, all without picking their teeth out of the wall one by one.
My experience was a little different than yours but still enlightening I think. I was physically punished exactly twice, several years apart, and I can remember both to this day. The difference between physical punishment and beatings in mind is that: a) it wasn't done out of anger, b) the severity of the offense was explained to me, and c) the physical punishment was, though extreme, brief.
I was taught that pain was often a consequence for actions that put myself or others in danger and that's been a productive lesson in responsibility.
Learning martial arts does not teach violence. A traditional martial arts school teaches you how NOT to get in a fight, how to walk away from bullies, how to have self confidence and succeed in life by always striving to do your best. It teaches self-discipline and self-control which kids need and in fact a lot of adults really need to learn especially all the adults who drink, do drugs, fight and aren't able to hold down a job or relationship which is the majority of what the adults I've known are like. That's why I have always stood out from the pack because I trained since a teenager in martial arts in taekwondo, judo, hapkido and later on tai chi. I also go to the gym daily, don't drink, do drugs, don't smoke, never been arrested and I didn't have that great of parents in fact both had mental illnesses and I raised myself to some extent. Martial arts didn't make me violent as I never have gotten in a fight, but it sure has saved me several times by knowing how to keep from getting cornered by a group of punks several times in town when they threatened me for no reason and helped me to walk away from abusive lovers and judo taught me how to fall correctly without hurting myself so I survived several slips on the ice one of which the doctor was amazed I was not dead. I suggest you learn more about martial arts before you go insulting it. I don't deny American kids today can be punks, but some of the French I've known weren't particularly great people and were in fact rather snotty as adults and drunks to boot, so I don't think turning to France for enlightenment is the answer.
Learning martial arts does not teach violence. A traditional martial arts school teaches you how NOT to get in a fight, how to walk away from bullies, how to have self confidence and succeed in life by always striving to do your best. It teaches self-discipline and self-control which kids need and in fact a lot of adults really need to learn especially all the adults who drink, do drugs, fight and aren't able to hold down a job or relationship which is the majority of what the adults I've known are like. That's why I have always stood out from the pack because I trained since a teenager in martial arts in taekwondo, judo, hapkido and later on tai chi. I also go to the gym daily, don't drink, do drugs, don't smoke, never been arrested and I didn't have that great of parents in fact both had mental illnesses and I raised myself to some extent. Martial arts didn't make me violent as I never have gotten in a fight, but it sure has saved me several times by knowing how to keep from getting cornered by a group of punks several times in town when they threatened me for no reason and helped me to walk away from abusive lovers and judo taught me how to fall correctly without hurting myself so I survived several slips on the ice one of which the doctor was amazed I was not dead. I suggest you learn more about martial arts before you go insulting it. I don't deny American kids today can be punks, but some of the French I've known weren't particularly great people and were in fact rather snotty as adults and drunks to boot, so I don't think turning to France for enlightenment is the answer.
I know more about it than you might think, so thanks for the attempted lecture, but it is quite unnecessary, and your experience is irrelevant here. Did you read why this person wanted to send her kid to learn?
Quote:
Originally Posted by phoenix_talons
I am already worrying about my son entering high school, and he's currently 4! He's spoilt, is coddled a lot, and hasn't yet learned to stand up for himself. Which gives other kids incentives to pick on him. I plan to enroll him in martial arts classes when he's old enough. More than anything, it will help him instill confidence and be assertive.
Her expectation is that he will encounter violence because of his spoiled behavior, and she anticipates that he will use martial arts to counter it--meaning be violent in return. That is teaching a kid violence. It's also a very bad reason for sending him to learn. Confidence, I can see, but if she's hoping he'll use it in a street fight, she'll probably be disappointed in the results.
Thanks for the attempted lecture, but it is quite unnecessary and your experience is irrelevant here. Did you read why this person wanted to send her kid to learn?
Her expectation is that he will encounter violence, and she anticipates that he will use martial arts to counter it--meaning be violent in return. That is teaching a kid violence.
Intention is everything.
I don't know what world you live in but the potential for violence is around every corner. I live in a small rural town and have had my life threatened by strangers countless times when I was just out shopping or at the lake. If someone lives in a big city its probably worse. Anyone that doesn't know how to defend themselves is a sitting duck. If one doesn't take precautions to protect oneself then they are a stupid idiot and should not be surprised to get beaten, raped or murdered. Part of learning martial arts is learning how to counter it with little or any violence. There are ways though many cannot comprehend this. I carry a weapon at all times as most educated people do in this town and I have not ever had to use it or threaten to use it. But its there; its a precaution for living in a dangerous world where someone gets raped every second in America. Teaching self defense is not teaching violence. What should the child be taught then how to allow themselves to be raped, beaten or murdered and be a compliant victim? Teaching your child its much more polite to be a victim is absurd. Anyone who lives long enough will encounter violence in their lives at least here in America. You don't even have to leave the home to potentially encounter violence.
The smart ones are not disrespectful- just a bit more bold around elders. My son's friends who were all musicians used to tease me calling me "Old Blood" and my son "Young Blood" - they actually admired me because I was an experienced artist...but they pretended to be rude---- I was the competition that refused to die and get out of the way...
Respect is the transfer of power- not fear...Grant your teenagers power - and they will send some back...Nothing has changed - even the liberally brainwashed teenagers come to their senses...be patient- above all love them - good or bad..
If Sandusky's victims had have known self defense there is a good chance they would have been bold enough to run from him or kick him in the crotch instead of just stand there and be raped by the old coot.
You can thank the social services system and child protective services, as well as a slew of new age "positive reinforcement" parenting books for this nonsense.
When I was a kid, I got beat with pretty much anything lying around. Ive been hit with rulers, belts of all kinds, a cane, and even a curtain rod. I spent hours on end in the corner. Almost all of this for talking back and nothing more. That is how you instill the fear of god.
Guess what, I never so much as got a detention, a speeding ticket or anything of the sort, and was a straight A student until I burnt out and I started to not give an F in high school.
I think thats the key thing missing now. When my parents were growing up, if you screwed up, your teacher, your next door neighbor and your grandma probably whipped your ass before your parents even got a crack. Now, kids call their parents by their first names, and tell them to shove it, all without picking their teeth out of the wall one by one.
If your parents beat you with rulers, belts, a cane, and a curtain rod, you were abused. You talk about instilling fear. That's kind of sad. I tend to think that using physical punishment for something like talking back is overkill and lazy parenting, actually. Make the punishment fit the crime. Just my opinion. Don't get me wrong. My parents didn't use that psychobabble some of today's parents use, either, but there are other ways to teach a child that he or she has choices and that his or her actions have consequences without beating the poor kid over word choice.
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