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I believe that these were approaches done by men with romantic intentions. 7-10 years ago, online approaching was already saturated (this was right as Tinder was launching), and night approaching has always been a slog. In the past 7-10 years, day approaching has changed a lot. Around 10 years ago is when more than half of women started wearing earbuds to the gym to prevent approaches. In the mid-2000s, only the absolute elite looking in their young 20s did this. I've noticed that in the last ~3 years or so, there has been an increase in the women wearing earbuds to the grocery store. I'm convinced that this is a result of male approaches at grocery stores.
Men generally do not approach women unless there is an intention for romance. Even the most innocuous of approaches is done with the intent to eventually lead to sex. I have been known to start conversations in the grocery store with strangers, asking about items in their basket, commenting on spices in a spice aisle and how I've used them in recipes, etc. These approaches have not been meaningless chit-chat, they have been done with the intention of obtaining a date.
Thanks for the low-down! You could write a book! That said, there has been no such increase in ear-budding at grocery stores and gyms in my town, though I acknowledge that, not only my town, but my entire state may exist in a bubble. While I've always maintained that the subsidized gyms in any city (YMCA, and city-run gyms) tend to be much more open and friendly, I tried a private gym last year, and not only were there no earbuds; typically, the after-work hours were quite clearly a huge neighborhood social scene for the local Hispanic youth. This gym was THE place to hang out, in this part of town! I'm not sure, but I think it was mainly a Friday night thing in that respect.
And I don't think enough men have been approaching women in grocery stores (as a national phenom) as you think. I'm in California for a month or so each year; I certainly don't observe grocery-store approaches there, nor ear buds. Still, I'm fascinated by your "research" ( ) and analysis. Maybe you should start a blog here. Seriously.
7 year old thread, revived just so somebody can point out you'd better NOT talk to him in public.
What's wrong with reviving an old thread? Especially since things change? Even our norms and culture have changed in the past seven years, not to mention politics, technology, laws.
For example seven years ago was before Weinstein, Trump, AOC, Kavanagh, and Smollett. People might look at things and people differently now.
I usually end up in some kind of chit chat in the grocery store while waiting in line. If someone didn't want to chat, that would be okay with me because they probably have a good reason to not chat, like hard of hearing, in a bad mood, just got back from a funeral and don't feel like chatting.
Most people will chat and maybe even joke around a little bit. It passes the time and can be fun--especially in a boring grocery store! It's just small talk or it's about the groceries. And it's also about the rotten weather because this is New England and somebody always has to end up saying, "That's New England!" or "Why do we live here??"
I meant owed in a sense of manners or societies expectation of what you should do.
My wife said it was poor manners on their part for talking to her and invading her privacy. She says people should only talk to each other if there is a formal introduction first, a business necessity, or part of an ongoing relationship.
Your wife is mistaken. In everyday life in the US, it is perfectly normal to do small talk with strangers you happen to be thrown into contact with.
If you don’t want to talk, it is polite to acknowledge the speaker with a small nod and a positive expression, allow your eyes to look away. Most people understand this, and probably won’t attempt again.
I’ve done small talk with strangers my entire life, wherever I have been in the US. It is done everywhere, except possibly in the large Eastern Seaboard cities.
I meant owed in a sense of manners or societies expectation of what you should do.
My wife said it was poor manners on their part for talking to her and invading her privacy. She says people should only talk to each other if there is a formal introduction first, a business necessity, or part of an ongoing relationship.
Your wife was born in the wrong century. We've come a long way since then.
I am welcome to have some idle chit chat with someone, but if they try to force me into a long, involved conversation with them, I find that aggressive and rude. It also tells me they're probably lonely because people don't like them.
I usually end up in some kind of chit chat in the grocery store while waiting in line. If someone didn't want to chat, that would be okay with me because they probably have a good reason to not chat, like hard of hearing, in a bad mood, just got back from a funeral and don't feel like chatting.
Most people will chat and maybe even joke around a little bit. It passes the time and can be fun--especially in a boring grocery store! It's just small talk or it's about the groceries. And it's also about the rotten weather because this is New England and somebody always has to end up saying, "That's New England!" or "Why do we live here??"
I like that Small chat when waiting around. I recall being on an elevator, Gosh people become mutes then don't they? Yet I will step up to the plate and say, now remember folks, If this thing leaves us stranded someone is gonna have to go thru that hatch. Better draw sticks to figure who that might be. Usually I get a snicker from someone , a panic by another and someone who follows up with a Sure I'll do it! Its all meant in fun and most folks WHO do get on the elevator are rarely claustrophic. So Why not have some fun . Sure makes ya think ....do I really want to be on this elevator with folks who have zero zip to their do dah!
What's wrong with reviving an old thread? Especially since things change?
What's wrong is that the OP is long gone, so there's no point in answering his question.
You're new here, judging by your join date. I'm sure charting the changes in cultural norms over the last seven years would be fascinating to somebody but usually we just stick to a simple question and answer format. Hope that doesn't "bore" you.
If you don’t want to talk, it is polite to acknowledge the speaker with a small nod and a positive expression, allow your eyes to look away. Most people understand this, and probably won’t attempt again.
Now THIS makes complete sense. It would be rude not to acknowledge a person who happens to make eye contact and a passing comment while you are both sharing the same airspace. That's what a sulking baby might do. Its also rudely ridiculous to take offense over something so harmless. There sure are a lot of self-righteous pearl clutchers around here. No one asked for your life's story for Pete's sake. Lighten up! You might just live longer.
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) and analysis. Maybe you should start a blog here. Seriously.
