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There have been many articles written in the news about how people don't know their neighbors anymore in a changing America. I wonder how true this is in smaller towns in established communities.
As an OLD TIRED MAN in his sixties, I remember when I was a boy in the 1950s and 1960s back in a medium sized town in Minnesota we lived on three different streets when I was growing up and my parents knew everyone who lived around us. While they were not friends with everyone who lived around us, they were friendly because everyone had something in common and it was thought to be good manners to be friendly to neighbors and who knows maybe they would be needed someday in case of a storm and emergency.
When I moved to a more old fashioned traditional homogeneous Fairfax VA in the 1970s, which is much different today), I noticed that people were not quite as open to their neighbors as in small town Minnesota but there was some connections. But as the area changed to be full of TYPE A's and Immigrants, slowly but surely everyone's neighbors were the least important thing on their mind. We all were more concerned with surviving the rat race and the serious office politics in the office where the DC culture told us to work at for 12 hours a day. There was very little interest in socializing with the neighbors.
How about in more relaxed traditional smaller to mid sized towns in America. Are you friendly with the neighbors? Do you know their names? Do you have actual conversations with them or just a wave? What is it like it the rest of America?
Our old neighborhood had sidewalks. People were constantly out walking their dogs or strolling around. Naturally conversations would take place and friendships would result. Our current neighborhood is characterized by windy, hilly streets that are not pedestrian friendly. Sucks.
When I was a tike everyone seemed to know each other in my neighborhood. I was always in someones yard playing around or something.
Then they sold their houses and moved away, everyone grew up and all the kids were no more....
Everyone in my hood is private now, I never see anyone, I dont even ask what my neighbors names are because theres always someone moving in and out every other month its crazy.
Theres two section 8 houses im next to and those guys are like best friends. One lives right next to us and we are friendly with them. Both of these neighbors have been here for atleast 10 years.. You gotta see when they argue its loud and theres always multiple cop cars on my street and they know the cops by name and the cops know them and their personal life..
Other than that people are moving in and out of houses and dont even get the chance.
My very best friends in the world all started out as neighbors. Of course I don't try to know all the neighbors, but I have always seemed to find some like-minded people nearby.
It can be harder in rural areas... Today I live on a 6 acre farmette, and do not know the folks on either side, but the couple across the street have become close friends. We look after each other and get together a lot. Very handy when it snows (like today) and you fancy a bottle of wine and some good company without having to schlep out in the car!
When I moved to a more old fashioned traditional homogeneous Fairfax VA in the 1970s, which is much different today), I noticed that people were not quite as open to their neighbors as in small town Minnesota but there was some connections. But as the area changed to be full of TYPE A's and Immigrants, slowly but surely everyone's neighbors were the least important thing on their mind. We all were more concerned with surviving the rat race and the serious office politics in the office where the DC culture told us to work at for 12 hours a day. There was very little interest in socializing with the neighbors.
I can sympathize. I used to live in a very cool, diverse neighborhood in Alexandria. It was very neighborly, even the section 8 families mixed in and got involved. Then in the late 1990s it got discovered and gentrified and overrun by yuppies. It was so awful I had to move away. The house I bought for 225K sold for 800K so that was good I guess...
I know most of my neighbors well enough to stop and talk when the weather is warm and everyone is outside. I ususally share the surplas tomatos, peppers, etc with the 3 -4 houses closest to mine during harvest time. Other than that, we don't have meals together or go out together but almost everyone within 10 houses proximity of mine know each other and stop to make conversation. Most places I live I make an effort to at least be neighorby if not friends. I did live in one house breifly where the neighbors were reluctant to even say hello but that hasn't been an experience that has repeated elsewhere. I think some people don't want to know their neighbors because they are afraid of the boundaries of relationship once they open their door. I don't get that, I don't have to be your best friend but, we do live next to one another. The least we can do is watch out for one another's property and try to get along. It's not that difficult.
Personally? I think you are going to see more and more of people distancing themselves even though they live next door, because of technology. I'm not saying that I don't like technology. I'm not saying that it isn't valuable. But, when I observe two people sitting next to each other in a restaurant or in a car and they are both texting, rather than talking to each other, I doesn't surprise me that they aren't going to converse with their neighbors.
I think some people are private. I think some people don't want to get to know their neighbors, because the neighbors could be doing something wrong or illegal and the guy next store would be involved just by association.
I do know, however, one person who, if you asked him some neighborly question, he would wonder why you needed to know.
Yes--which is why I tired of the suburbs and went to the city.
Growing up, our suburban neighborhoods were really friendly. By the early 2000s, it had become full of standoffish holier-than-thou breeders, whose best effort at socializing was a condescending glare as they tore down the street, as if they'd go out of the way to run you down. It didn't help that my last suburb didn't have any sidewalks. Unless I live in the country, I'm never moving to another community that doesn't have sidewalks. Sidewalks don't guarantee a friendly neighborhood, but at least you can always count on some sort of interaction when you're out walking the dog.
I'm not convinced that technology is as responsible for this shift in peoples' socializing habits, or perhaps I should say, abilities. I'm of the opinion that Generation Special, the oldest of whom are now getting out into the real world, thinks that they are above dealing with anyone, even though they obviously have similar demographic profiles to people in their entire neighborhood.
The only people in my neighborhood that I ever talk to are the ones I meet while walking my dog. The others are seldom outside, they hit their garage door openers and pull in their garages.
I'm an old not tired but old I guess in my 60's who also remembers growing up in the 50's. When I lived in a large city I still knew all my neighbors and talked to them, we had great block parties. I retired and moved to a small mountain town and knew just about everyone in town and talked to neighbors daily. Where I live now I know all my neighbors, talk to them all the time. All depends on your attitude I think.
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