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I think a child or teen can greatly benefit by getting to know trustworthy adults who may have special skills, talents, abilities, knowledge, or experiences to share. I am thinking of older neighbors, whose maturity and life experiences could be shared with their younger neighbors.
Didn't anyone have a lady next door who baked cookies or gardened, and who shared her skills? How about the nice guy up the street who had model airplanes or pet iguanas, or the retired teacher who shared his books with neighbor kids? The lady with the shell collection, or the grandma who knows how to sew and would like to share her skills, or the good storytellers who only lack an audience? The remaining WWII vets whose stories are dying with them?
Good people like these can enrich young lives. It is sad to think that our society is becoming so generationally segregated.
I'm sure! but from my perspective as a parent, such experiences are not neccesary, to enrich the life of my child to the extent of developing a relationship/friendship. Communication is fine, relationship/friendship is different. The things you mentioned are in abundance at home. Any interesting skills beyond any that my husband and I possess, he!! that person can educate and entertain all of us, not just my child.
I am not assuming anything. The OP is talking about 15 yo telling him how handsome he is, and being bold etc. That is not appropriate in my opinion. But those children are not mine.
My kids are too young now and privacy in my house is not guaranteed. When they are of age they can do whatever they want; but if you live under my roof you live by my rules.
But they do have very mellow personalities, I am praying they do not change much when they become teenagers
I would agree that that is inappropriate. And yeah, I wouldn't expect a 4 and 7 year old to have much privacy. Or need much for that matter.
Kids generally become more mellow as they get older I believe. So I'm sure they'll be fine.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CraigCreek
I think a child or teen can greatly benefit by getting to know trustworthy adults who may have special skills, talents, abilities, knowledge, or experiences to share. I am thinking of older neighbors, whose maturity and life experiences could be shared with their younger neighbors.
Didn't anyone have a lady next door who baked cookies or gardened, and who shared her skills? How about the nice guy up the street who had model airplanes or pet iguanas, or the retired teacher who shared his books with neighbor kids? The lady with the shell collection, or the grandma who knows how to sew and would like to share her skills, or the good storytellers who only lack an audience? The remaining WWII vets whose stories are dying with them?
Good people like these can enrich young lives. It is sad to think that our society is becoming so generationally segregated.
That's it, really. Kids are being raised to be alienated from whole generations, and losing the wisdom they have to pass on. Parents think they know everything, they want to be the sole influence on their children as if they're some perfect role model. Like this home-schooling nonsense, unless they have a good reason to be home-schooled I think all kids should, and should have the right, to go to school with children their own age.
Yes a full on buddy like friendship in real life with a teenage would be weird, but could still be perfectly innocent. As for a casual online friendship/acquaintance whatever you want to call it, it frankly didn't occur to me as a problem at all. Maybe I'm innocent to the world's suspicious or cynical ways?
That's it, really. Kids are being raised to be alienated from whole generations, and losing the wisdom they have to pass on. Parents think they know everything, they want to be the sole influence on their children as if they're some perfect role model. Like this home-schooling nonsense, unless they have a good reason to be home-schooled I think all kids should, and should have the right, to go to school with children their own age.
Yes a full on buddy like friendship in real life with a teenage would be weird, but could still be perfectly innocent. As for a casual online friendship/acquaintance whatever you want to call it, it frankly didn't occur to me as a problem at all. Maybe I'm innocent to the world's suspicious or cynical ways?
I'm assuming this "alienation of generations" is a result of all the elders on both sides of the family being deceased?
That's it, really. Kids are being raised to be alienated from whole generations, and losing the wisdom they have to pass on. Parents think they know everything, they want to be the sole influence on their children as if they're some perfect role model. Like this home-schooling nonsense, unless they have a good reason to be home-schooled I think all kids should, and should have the right, to go to school with children their own age.
Yes a full on buddy like friendship in real life with a teenage would be weird, but could still be perfectly innocent. As for a casual online friendship/acquaintance whatever you want to call it, it frankly didn't occur to me as a problem at all. Maybe I'm innocent to the world's suspicious or cynical ways?
When you have your own kids, please let us know how you feel when your 15 yo is chatting and flirting with some adult male or female online. You cant understand if you are not a parent.
I don't think you can really control who your kids befriend... the more a parent tries to shelter or deny or restrict the harder the kids tend to pull away and sneak around and do it anyway. Better to allow them to do things with you at least aware of what's going on, rather than try to tell them absolutely NO, and then they go off and you don't know where they are or who they're with. We have two teenage kids and we've really found that being objective and talking things over with them openly and honestly is really the best path to take. Help them make good choices, don't make the choices for them. When kids feel as if they have no control over their own lives, that's when things can get really ugly really quick. When you give your kids that kind of respect, they in return have more respect for you and your opinions. Then they do this thing called... listening. It's really cool when that happens... that listening thing.
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Or need much for that matter.
