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I'm not talking about city-data either. Maybe bc it's a mixture of men and women, I dunno. I got so fed up, I recently de-activated my account on another parenting/mom type board. The women on there, and it was literally a clique of them, were downright witches, especially to posters who didn't live 24/7 on the board. I mean, you would post a question or even a vent, which many of us do on here too, and there were women on there who would post an extremely witchy comment, totally unrelated to what you posted, just because, or the best, would post gifs (pictures) which were usually mocking the person, and then a whole bunch of other women would join along. It was pathetic. And the holyier than thou attitudes some of them had. I can be a witch too if need be, and I got attacked IMO, a few times and went right back at them. I guess that rubbed them the wrong way bc then they would search out my older posts, bump it up, and start writing snotty things. This wasn't just done to me, it was done to loads of people. I am all for tough love or telling it like it is, but then there is being mean, just for the sake of being mean. I swear my only conclusion is that they must not have sex very often, have miserable lives/marriages or are literal internet loons. Is this a case of Internet balls? Like if I met any of these people in real life they would say half the crap that they post hiding behind their screen remaining anonymous?
I'm not talking about city-data either. Maybe bc it's a mixture of men and women, I dunno. I got so fed up, I recently de-activated my account on another parenting/mom type board. The women on there, and it was literally a clique of them, were downright witches, especially to posters who didn't live 24/7 on the board. I mean, you would post a question or even a vent, which many of us do on here too, and there were women on there who would post an extremely witchy comment, totally unrelated to what you posted, just because, or the best, would post gifs (pictures) which were usually mocking the person, and then a whole bunch of other women would join along. It was pathetic. And the holyier than thou attitudes some of them had. I can be a witch too if need be, and I got attacked IMO, a few times and went right back at them. I guess that rubbed them the wrong way bc then they would search out my older posts, bump it up, and start writing snotty things. This wasn't just done to me, it was done to loads of people. I am all for tough love or telling it like it is, but then there is being mean, just for the sake of being mean. I swear my only conclusion is that they must not have sex very often, have miserable lives/marriages or are literal internet loons. Is this a case of Internet balls? Like if I met any of these people in real life they would say half the crap that they post hiding behind their screen remaining anonymous?
If its any solace to you, I'm a "clown sucking good air." That's about the snarkiest comment I've got, but I try to stay aloof and not get into much exchange.
Yes, I think it's generally acknowledged that anonymity has a lot to do with it and that the same folks in real life (face to face) would be less obnoxious to one degree or another. But the remaining question would be why is there so much generalized hostility out there among so many people, which the anonymity allows to surface. It's a revealing, if depressing, look at the human condition. A lot of folks lack self esteem and have been put down so often (perhaps by their own parents, for example) that lashing out at others is the only way they know to feel superior. They see life as a battle and other people as the enemy. Racial prejudice probably has the same roots.
The OP cited as example a group of women on another forum (not City-Data). But I think we all know that this nastiness still slips through the fairly strict (if somewhat inconsistent) moderation here on City-Data too. I feel sorry for the moderators; it must be akin to keeping ants out of your house, as no matter what you do they keep finding ways to get in!
While the OP cited women, the worst two trolls we have had in the Retirement Forum in the past couple of years have been men, and both fairly recently, one of whom has now apparently been banned.
That's the way the world is, so what is to be done? We can ignore some of it, report the worst of it, rebut some of it, and try to focus on the rational, helpful, excellent people that do make City-Data worthwhile.
I have known some overly sensitive souls here who let themselves go to pieces at the least sign of negativity - a somewhat thicker skin is the remedy. (Not saying that applies to the OP, as what she described sounded really, really bad).
Part of it's because people are more open here, so you hear more truths. I have a temper, and hardly ever show it in the real world. I hear people making comments that give me the angries and explode, and regret it later, online (There are lots of rapid deletions.)
I would probably say many of the things I say online in public. It's just that there are fewer appropriate situations in the real world to state your true opinions. You don't get access to as many honest conversations in the real world. There are definitely some real world situations in which I'd speak similarly to how I speak online though.
It could be because many people have a lot of anger bottled up inside and the internet is a very convenient place to release some of it. OP, you said you come to post a thread to vent, but I bet a lot of other people come here to vent by being nasty to other people, in ways they otherwise cannot do in real life. In real life, if one is being mean to others there would likely be repercussion; on the internet, the worst that could happen (in most cases anyway) would be a forum ban. Big deal.
What I don't say in real life, I don't write it here.
It could be because many people have a lot of anger bottled up inside and the internet is a very convenient place to release some of it. OP, you said you come to post a thread to vent, but I bet a lot of other people come here to vent by being nasty to other people, in ways they otherwise cannot do in real life. In real life, if one is being mean to others there would likely be repercussion; on the internet, the worst that could happen (in most cases anyway) would be a forum ban. Big deal.
What I don't say in real life, I don't write it here.
I once had an idea that, in order for people to understand each other, they need to talk, and be honest, and if they are completely honest, they may well become angry at each other. Therefore, the ideal place to learn about one another is online, in a situation where you are anonymous and it doesn't matter if you get into a heated debate or not, because you're not losing anything.
I think it's quite helpful to society that we have an environment we can infuriate each other in. It enhances the efficiency of learning about one another. I don't view it like there are any long term negative repercussions to the angry debate talks...unless you want online friends. Personally, I don't go online to make friends, for the most part.
I once had an idea that, in order for people to understand each other, they need to talk, and be honest, and if they are completely honest, they may well become angry at each other. Therefore, the ideal place to learn about one another is online, in a situation where you are anonymous and it doesn't matter if you get into a heated debate or not, because you're not losing anything.
I think it's quite helpful to society that we have an environment we can infuriate each other in. It enhances the efficiency of learning about one another. I don't view it like there are any long term negative repercussions to the angry debate talks...unless you want online friends. Personally, I don't go online to make friends, for the most part.
You are right about the internet being a place to learn where you don't have much to lose. However, I think there are at least two ways people can go when it comes to expressing themselves on the internet: some people are more honest because there is less repercussion for, say, having a politically incorrect view; or some people are less honest because there is less repercussion for being dishonest (or, staying more on topic with OP's thread, some people are less pleasant because there is less consequence for being mean).
I do agree that it is beneficial to truthfully learn about other people and the internet offers a place to do so, but it is also very probable that some of what we see online is very much distorted, due to the fact that the lack of real consequence is inducing many to act differently and irresponsibly.
People should really behave responsibly, online and offline.
The automobile and the internet bring out the worst in people.
Ain't it the truth! I follow and post on another thread and I quickly realized who was part of the clique, who routinely had nothing but negative comments to share and who was genuinely helpful and offered reliable information. Its kind of like high school all over again - there will be bullies and cliques and oddballs. Sometimes you need to sift through a lot of crap to get to the information you really need, but for what its worth, I have found some really solid information on these forums.
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I follow and post on another thread and I quickly realized who was part of the clique, who routinely had nothing but negative comments to share and who was genuinely helpful and offered reliable information. Its kind of like high school all over again - there will be bullies and cliques and oddballs. Sometimes you need to sift through a lot of crap to get to the information you really need, but for what its worth, I have found some really solid information on these forums.
