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So there is this guy I met when I was being interviewed for a job. He was an employee of that company and I was chatting with him for like 30 min while I was waiting to be interviewed. He told me to send him my CV so he could forward it to his contacts. So I did, and we started to talk a little via email.
He seemed to be pretty interested in me- But I directly told him that I have a boyfriend with who I live to not create wrong expectations. He seemed really disappointed, but we kept talking and he kept inviting me to the theatre and for dinner, I never went though because I didn't wanna meet other guys when I have a boyfriend.
The only times I met him was twice on a party with friends, my boyfriend didn't come with me. We talked a lot that evening and I like him a lot, but as a friend, not as a potential love interest. It's really obvious though that he has a crush on me. The way he talks to me, the way he looks at me and he's texting me
every day.
A week ago me and my BF broke up. I told the guy too, and I'm pretty sure now he's hoping again. Still, it's not just that I don't feel like dating anyone new at the moment, it's also that all I see in that guy is a friend. I don't wanna loose him as a friend, but he wants more from this.
So now I don't know what to do. Should I make it clear another time that all I want from him is friendship? Or should I try to reduce contact to not create wrong expectations and to not hurt him?
Yes,I think you must mark the border. Friend! Tell him - you (important) for me as a friend and I do not want to lose you. If he is understands . Then you can become friends. If he does not understand, it is better to remove it from your life. Or will be his girlfriend...
So there is this guy I met when I was being interviewed for a job. He was an employee of that company and I was chatting with him for like 30 min while I was waiting to be interviewed. He told me to send him my CV so he could forward it to his contacts. So I did, and we started to talk a little via email.
He seemed to be pretty interested in me- But I directly told him that I have a boyfriend with who I live to not create wrong expectations. He seemed really disappointed, but we kept talking and he kept inviting me to the theatre and for dinner, I never went though because I didn't wanna meet other guys when I have a boyfriend.
The only times I met him was twice on a party with friends, my boyfriend didn't come with me. We talked a lot that evening and I like him a lot, but as a friend, not as a potential love interest. It's really obvious though that he has a crush on me. The way he talks to me, the way he looks at me and he's texting me
every day.
A week ago me and my BF broke up. I told the guy too, and I'm pretty sure now he's hoping again. Still, it's not just that I don't feel like dating anyone new at the moment, it's also that all I see in that guy is a friend. I don't wanna loose him as a friend, but he wants more from this.
So now I don't know what to do. Should I make it clear another time that all I want from him is friendship? Or should I try to reduce contact to not create wrong expectations and to not hurt him?
Thanks.
This will make the friendship strained, Esp as you just met. Sometimes you cant have it both ways. He will get frustrated, You will start dating someone else in time, Not him and you can bet this will make things more difficult. Let him know how you feel-No hints. Straight up at the very least. Don't expect him to stick around though. And then let it go.
I don't think these kind of situations ever really work out. You just can't be friends with someone where one person is attracted to the other, but the other person just sees them as a friend. This guy will always be hoping you'll change your mind, and yes he likely will be resentful when you start dating someone else.
Is this guy actually a "friend" though? You don't seem to even like him that much. Sounds more like an acquaintance. Treat him like you would any other acquaintance. Remain polite and professional but stop sharing personal information with him. This is an easy one.
So now I don't know what to do. Should I make it clear another time that all I want from him is friendship? Or should I try to reduce contact to not create wrong expectations and to not hurt him?
Thanks.
The kindest thing you can do is tell him firmly that you are only interested in friendship. Reducing contact is not a bad idea, either.
Maybe it is just me, but some things in this picture just don't seem right. You were living with your boyfriend but you started talking to this other guy ? Then you went to a party and he was there but your BF wasn't with you.
I don't think it is any surprise you and your BF broke up.......it doesn't seem like there was a lot of commitment or loyalty there on your part. I would be pretty upset if someone I was in a live in relationship with was out chatting it up with other guys who were obviously interested in her. Tag me old fashioned, but I think you are playing a dangerous game. It's ok to have casual friends of the opposite sex when you are in a relationship, but you have to be smart enough to stay away from ones who are hot for you.
Maybe it is just me, but some things in this picture just don't seem right. You were living with your boyfriend but you started talking to this other guy ? Then you went to a party and he was there but your BF wasn't with you.
I don't think it is any surprise you and your BF broke up.......it doesn't seem like there was a lot of commitment or loyalty there on your part. I would be pretty upset if someone I was in a live in relationship with was out chatting it up with other guys who were obviously interested in her. Tag me old fashioned, but I think you are playing a dangerous game. It's ok to have casual friends of the opposite sex when you are in a relationship, but you have to be smart enough to stay away from ones who are hot for you.
Don
Excuse me? Don't judge about things you don't have a clue about. My ex has a job which requires him to travel a lot. That guy and I have some friends in common so I randomly met him on two parties.. so what? I never cheated on my ex and I never planned to, us breaking up has absolutely nothing to do with that. Only because a guy likes me doesn't mean I have to like him back.
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