Young Relative Feeling Adrift (wife, siblings, person, brother)
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Years ago, I helped talk a relative out of joining the military for all the wrong reasons. I was one voice among several, but he has indicated that it was helpful. Certainly, his life has turned out to be unbelievably happy and blessed (far more so than anyone expected and mainly through his own amazing gifts and hard work) since I helped encourage him to take another path, while the friend he was going to join the military with has met with a lot of grief and difficulty since actually going through with it and joining.
Now he has let me in on the fact that his younger brother is actively pursuing joining the military, with the intention of taking on a combat role. The entire branch of the family is distraught. I think the military would be a very good idea for him, but NOT in the arm of the military he is looking to join, and I suspect his reasons are more based in desperation and a lack of direction than actually wanting a military career or the benefits that come with a military stint. He has no marketable skills or job experience, and I suspect the recruiter has been filling his head with all kinds of BS. Since I know how corrupt the local recruiting station is based on a friend who actually worked there, I am very alarmed. I also think that my relative believes he is only suited for a combat position because he thinks the only thing he is really good at is first-person shooter video games - and none of those games actually prepare you for actually being in battle.
Because of a rift within the family that did not involve him, I have not spoken to him directly in a couple of years, but he knows I bear him no ill will. There was just no way to have contact with him without his parents and other siblings knowing.
I strongly suspect that his older brother told me what was up with the intention that I speak with him. (His older brother and I seldom say meaningful things to each other in direct conversation. It's just the nature of our relationship. It's vaguely comical and drives his wife nuts.) I don't see myself doing the same sort of radical intervention I did some 10 years ago, but I would like to put him in touch with friends of mine who have actually been in that branch of the military and have a sane perspective on it. I would also like to offer him a place to stay - I live across the country in a different city where there might be more opportunity for him, or at least a chance to see other possible paths.
I think it is very reasonable. Anyone enlisting in the military should certainly take the time to speak with veterans of that respective branch and get a more realistic perspective than the one the recruiter is trying to sell. This young man should ask himself if he truly believes in the missions we are fighting and the reasons we are engaged in wars and battles across the globe. Because convoys and combat missions are not the time and place to be asking those questions and second guessing your decision, it will already be too late. You've made a commitment.
In fairness, I'd suggest he speak to people who had both good and bad experiences in the military. There will always be jaded or disgruntled vets who will speak poorly of their time served. It's good to get both perspectives and make an informed decision.
I think it is very reasonable. Anyone enlisting in the military should certainly take the time to speak with veterans of that respective branch and get a more realistic perspective than the one the recruiter is trying to sell. This young man should ask himself if he truly believes in the missions we are fighting and the reasons we are engaged in wars and battles across the globe. Because convoys and combat missions are not the time and place to be asking those questions and second guessing your decision, it will already be too late. You've made a commitment.
In fairness, I'd suggest he speak to people who had both good and bad experiences in the military. There will always be jaded or disgruntled vets who will speak poorly of their time served. It's good to get both perspectives and make an informed decision.
I'd say the former military people I'd have him speak with are neutral-to-positive. But they are all very very realistic. I'm very wary of recruiters - my friends with the best military experiences didn't even deal with recruiters for the most part, and they certainly didn't need to be "sold" on the idea of joining the military. The people I know who have dealt with recruiters have basically gotten fed a pack of lies, and my friend who worked in the recruitment office told me that is par for the course.
He's 18 soon, so I have to act fast.
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