What is the point of incessant bragging? (braggart, personality, house)
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I know people like this, some of whom I really don't have the option of avoiding. So I have developed a pretty successful coping strategy: I treat their narcissism as a form of comedy. When they start bragging, I chuckle to myself. I agree with them about how perfect they are and try to repeatedly remind them of their impeccable qualities as much as possible. It's kind of like a game... and quite fun actually. My goal is to see if a person's narcissism can be built up to the point that their head explodes!
I've always believed that people like this feel terribly inferior, and they have to cover that up by telling everyone how wonderful they are, so much that they actually begin to develop a superiority complex. But it;s also possible they're just crashing bores. I've observed that these people are also impossible to have a real conversation with. They lack another quality, and that is to gauge the interest of their audience. They don't notice the shifty feet, the eye contact their audience is making with the nearest exit... the stifled yawns, etc.
I agree with LoveWisdom that they're on some sort of auto-pilot.
I don't think the OP is any longer. That was my understanding. She said that the braggart was not always this way, and lost her sense of humor over the years.
The woman also sounds very angry. I process constant bragging and boasting as an attack and a demand for validation. I do not respond well to demands.
My youngest sister is a braggart and my parents started that ball rolling. She is very sparing with compliments towards others but loves to point out her talents and her "beauty".
Actually, I think that she is unsure of her self.
Last time I saw her it was horribly boring. She was shoving picture after picture of herself and her children, who are in their 20s and asking each time if her daughter wasn't the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen and didn't that daughter look "just like me at that age!"
She was not as enthusiastic about the daughter who looks like her husband's side of the family. After the pictures came the crafts that she had made. All of them tacky. They looked like a nine year old made them.
At the end of the evening she brought up the French teacher in our high school and asked if he was still living. I had no idea.
She then jumped out of her chair and began practically shouting a poem in French! She looked like a mad woman.
I agree that they do it in order to make themselves feel better.
However, I wouldn't take it personally because some people are quite unaware of what they are actually doing or saying. They are like robots: repeating things their brain calculates without being aware of it.
Our body can function on its own I think without us consciously observing our behavior. So it would be like animals. They do what their program (their instinct) tells them to do.
So to get mad at them would be equivalent to getting mad at the dog who keeps chasing her tale without realizing that she is stuck in the loop and won't reach her goals.
Our body is designed to function to optimize life for a person, to protect a person. So, apparently, her body has calculated that it's best for her well being to be this way, because it makes her feel better. So she just acts it out. It's like her mouth is disconnected from her awareness. She doesn't really know why she is doing or or what she is doing and how that is perceived by others.
Just because someone looks like they are conscious and are sort of acting like a person doesn't mean that they are fully conscious. Not many people realize it yet. There are many things our bodies can do on autopilot. And we only become aware of what we did AFTER it already happened. So conscious part is more like an observer: it takes note of what the body just did.
Those who are more self aware and more knowledgeable, become more conscious and therefore realize what's going on around them and how they are perceived by others. But some did not reach that level yet.
Yes, some (quite a few) do stay on that level, their whole life. Hehe. I made this much...I have this much...I...I... blah, blah. It says more about their personal evolution, or lack thereof, than anything else. I guess they have to be "snapped" out of it, unfortunately, it's usually in the hardest ways...
I don't know why they do it, but we have a new employee at work who is the star of all of her own stories. I'm drawn to her like a moth to the flame--always eager to hear about some amazing adventure or past accomplishment (scuba-diving in underwater caves, diamond trading, piloting a plane, shutting down movie productions when the bills weren't paid, being an attendant in 31 weddings, having all her former employers begging her to come back, being recruited by top headhunters, to name a few) but then want to tell her to shut the eff up.
I bet most (if not all) of those stories never happened or did not happen to her
But you and your co-workers are providing the captive audience, so she keeps "performing"
Last edited by Zen Dragonfly; 09-11-2013 at 01:57 PM..
I bet most (if not all) of those stories never happened or did not happen to her
But you and your co-workers are providing the captivated audience, so she keeps "performing"
I agree. I don't see how she could have done everything she claims and if she were as amazing at her job as she claims, there would be no reason for her to be working here. She could be making big bucks somewhere else.
As far as being a captive audience, you don't have much of a choice if you're in the same space as she is. She talks and talks, always about herself, and doesn't let anyone else get a word in edgewise. Like I said above though, I keep going back for more because I like to see how outlandish the stories can get. As some other posters have said, I need to think of it as cheap entertainment and not let it get under my skin.
I don't think the OP is any longer. That was my understanding. She said that the braggart was not always this way, and lost her sense of humor over the years.
The woman also sounds very angry. I process constant bragging and boasting as an attack and a demand for validation. I do not respond well to demands.
My youngest sister is a braggart and my parents started that ball rolling. She is very sparing with compliments towards others but loves to point out her talents and her "beauty".
Actually, I think that she is unsure of her self.
Last time I saw her it was horribly boring. She was shoving picture after picture of herself and her children, who are in their 20s and asking each time if her daughter wasn't the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen and didn't that daughter look "just like me at that age!"
She was not as enthusiastic about the daughter who looks like her husband's side of the family. After the pictures came the crafts that she had made. All of them tacky. They looked like a nine year old made them.
At the end of the evening she brought up the French teacher in our high school and asked if he was still living. I had no idea.
She then jumped out of her chair and began practically shouting a poem in French! She looked like a mad woman.
LOL!! Funny story. How old is she? If she has kids in their 20s she is too old for this tomfoolery!
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