Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
have you given it any thought if the person is hard of hearing ? I am profoundly deaf and everything sounds garbled. I read lips so at a large function it is hard for me but my family understand and assist in any way possible. I miss out in a lot that is being said but I'm family who hads a hearing impairment.
How do you have a family gathering and purposely exclude family? Its once a year and as long as they haven't done anything terrible to anyone I think you should invite them. I don't think its worth risking hurting their feelings if they haven't been terrible. Maybe one of these times they will come out of it and you'll discover they are people you like. The people that say rude things, don't contribute or if they are just plain mean feel free not to invite back.
My perspective is different. I have several relatives I wish just wouldn't talk so much. There is hurtful gossip that goes on and I limit how many of these gatherings I go to. You can't choose your family.
If it really is that much of a dilemma don't do Thanksgiving this year and see what happens. It's what I finally did because too many people didn't seem to appreciate it.
This quiet person may just have very poor social skills or have a personality disorder of some sort. Yes, I would still invite them because I don't let behavior like that get the best of me. I would feel sorry for this person instead of considering them to be rude. Maybe other people are not including him in their conversations or he has little in common with them.
Thanksgiving is coming up and it is our turn to invite the relatives to our home.
One of my cousins shows up to extended family events with his wife and for some reason does not say a word to anyone. His wife just says hello and that is it. I have tried a number of times to engage them in conversation wanting to be a good host but they act like I am bothering them and go mute. He and his wife is invited because of tradition and they are family. My cousin is completely mute and does not talk to anyone, not one word. (He used to talk years ago so I know he can talk.)
To me someone who shows up at someone's home and does not say one word the entire time is incredibly rude. When I ask the other relatives about the mute cousin they just act embarrassed and say something like, "Oh, he is just shy." I don't consider mute to be shy, I consider it rude!
Would I be rude by not inviting him to our home to join the normal group of twenty relatives for Thanksgiving?
I've had relatives like that. Most people do. You can put up with their silence for one day out of the year. Obviously they want to be there or they wouldn't come. Maybe you could try communicating with them in other ways, throughout the year. Then maybe they'd talk to you at Thanksgiving. It wouldn't hurt to try.
I think you should invite him. If he does attend family events, then he must want to be there. If he was just rude, he would come up with an excuse not to attend like we all do sometimes.
If it bothers you, pass the invitation through his wife, who is apparently at least capable of saying hello, and explain your concerns. You don't know what's really going on there. He could have a mental illness or maybe he does have real social anxiety. If either of those are the case, I wouldn't exclude him from the family. That would only make things worse for him/them. If he is in fact mentally ill, that could make his wife uneasy and quiet at gatherings, too. With plenty of others around talking, there's no harm if a couple of people aren't joining in.
If you are inviting everyone, then invite him as normal. If he isn't talking at least he isn't offending anyone.....stop focusing on him, it doesn't sound personal.
Thanksgiving is coming up and it is our turn to invite the relatives to our home.
One of my cousins shows up to extended family events with his wife and for some reason does not say a word to anyone. His wife just says hello and that is it. I have tried a number of times to engage them in conversation wanting to be a good host but they act like I am bothering them and go mute. He and his wife is invited because of tradition and they are family. My cousin is completely mute and does not talk to anyone, not one word. (He used to talk years ago so I know he can talk.)
To me someone who shows up at someone's home and does not say one word the entire time is incredibly rude. When I ask the other relatives about the mute cousin they just act embarrassed and say something like, "Oh, he is just shy." I don't consider mute to be shy, I consider it rude!
Would I be rude by not inviting him to our home to join the normal group of twenty relatives for Thanksgiving?
Sometimes, we have to divorce some of our family...........and in yours, the time has come.......
Sometimes, we have to divorce some of our family...........and in yours, the time has come.......
Oh please he is quiet not causing trouble . Some of you just look to kick people to the curb and for what reason?
OP invite your cousin and his wife apparently he comes every year be the better person . Maybe after the holiday call and ask if everything is ok ? He is your cousin talk to him .
My sister has tried dragging me around to events. I just freeze up and become overwhelmed. My stiff, avoidant behavior is read as being aloof and insolent by the normal folk. Only few can see that i am just very uncomfortable with my self, but even they bore of my clamminess eventually.
So, no. Better not inviting people like me.
I always feel bad when my sister drags me out to places, like I am ruining the party for everyone.
Depends on the person. My brother and his wife were (he died of colon cancer) exactly like that, but they weren't trying to be rude. They both were just very quiet people. They would come over and hang out and not really talk at all. And then after a couple of hours would say "Well, we have to go." They liked hanging out with us; they just didn't talk. Odd, yes. But I'm glad now that he's gone that we spent that time together.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
