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When you ask me why a man I'm married to needs approval to use his own money. It might be ""his"" but I would equate this to him being marrried and still swinging ""his"" penis to other women. It might be ""his"" but IMO marriage means you are accountable to the other person. So using your logic I guess you allow your husband to use ""his"" penis to have sex with other women? I would think not!
That's hardly the same thing.
1) It sounds like you think this money could've gone to you if it hadn't gone to the house. Probably not, since he obviously had other designs for it from the start.
2) How are you actually suffering from this? He wants you to help out with the house, ok, but what else do you do during the day? Are you sitting around the house, hanging out with girlfriends, getting manicures, going shopping, or any other type of leisure activity, while he's much older, possibly still working, and his sibling may also be much older and/or also working? If so, get off your butt and help out a bit.
3) I assume that your husband knew you didn't like the idea of him making this purchase, yet did so anyway. Do you often try to veto ideas that have to do with his family? Do you often try to guide all money spent into your corner (meaning it's spent on you instead of anything else)? If so, then I can see why he ignored your wishes.
4) The main issue is that you guys probably need marriage counseling. The dynamic/communication between you two doesn't seem very good. Ultimately, I think the issue is less about the house, and more about what the house represents (him not listening to you, him choosing where money is supposed to go, you being a little entitled and perhaps not bringing any funds to the table, etc.).
Depending on the complete situation these are all excellent points.
There are so many unknowns.
Is this a couple of hours a month "help out in a pinch" responsibility or is it a 10 to 15 hour a week house repair/upkeep each and every week, that the real owners are forcing a non-owner to complete.
I doubt the OP is being asked to do home repairs. She said they wanted her to work on getting the house rented out. To me that would mean putting a few listings on the internet, answer some emails, taking calls from potential renters, and showing them the house.
To me it seems like it would be in her best interest to get it rented out. The longer it sits vacant, the more money her husband has to put into it, and the less money he has to maintain her lifestyle. The OP said in another thread that she is only with her husband for his money (shocking that the relatives call her a gold digger), so why not help him keep a little bit more of that money?
They could even pay her commission if she finds a renter. She was fired from her last job because she lied on her resume about her experience. Working as a type of office assistant for them while she is between jobs can help give her the experience she'll need to find another job.
Gold digger: Any woman whose primary interest in a relationship is material benefits. A woman who cares more about a man's bank account than she does about the man.
You have admitted such. How is his family calling it out like it is so bad?
Last edited by cheryjohns; 10-30-2013 at 02:52 PM..
When you ask me why a man I'm married to needs approval to use his own money. It might be ""his"" but I would equate this to him being marrried and still swinging ""his"" penis to other women. It might be ""his"" but IMO marriage means you are accountable to the other person.
If you really believe that, there are bigger problems with your marriage....
You have admitted such. How is his family calling it out like it so bad?
I guess she didn't think she was making it that obvious to the family. But yeah, when you say you are only with your husband so that you can maintain a certain lifestyle, that is a gold digger. When you say you won't leave him for another man because the other man can't maintain the lifestyle you've grown accustomed too, that is a gold digger. His family is just calling it like they see it. The husband probably knows too and will eventually get tired of her antics and not see the worth in keeping her around.
I guess she didn't think she was making it that obvious to the family. But yeah, when you say you are only with your husband so that you can maintain a certain lifestyle, that is a gold digger. When you say you won't leave him for another man because the other man can't maintain the lifestyle you've grown accustomed too, that is a gold digger. His family is just calling it like they see it. The husband probably knows too and will eventually get tired of her antics and not see the worth in keeping her around.
When you ask me why a man I'm married to needs approval to use his own money. It might be ""his"" but I would equate this to him being marrried and still swinging ""his"" penis to other women. It might be ""his"" but IMO marriage means you are accountable to the other person. So using your logic I guess you allow your husband to use ""his"" penis to have sex with other women? I would think not!
YOU who were going to cheat on him, use this comparison? No, it isn't that kind of arrangement. He is not cheating on you, he is in a business arrangement with siblings and he asked you for help. It has NOTHING to do with ownership of the property, it has everything to do with YOU helping your HUSBAND do his responsibility.
Not only that, but I recall you claiming to be a lawyer; ergo your training should make you more qualified than his sibling or him to handle this as a rental.
Good grief you are self-centered. And there is no wonder why your in-laws call you a gold-digger. It's all about you you you and what's in it for you.
He asks for help... You don't think you should do anything.
Yea, gold digger is probably appropriate (keeping in mind this is ONE SIDE of the story...)
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