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I don't have an issue questioning his class and manners.
Though a bit hypocritical that this behavior is only boorish in MIXED company.
However, I take issue with the sour grapes, bitter, green-eyed business about the 40-something's specifically being bothered by a man's attention to a younger woman. Seems mean girl snarky vs really questioning his manners. The complaint specifically references the contrast.
Meh.
Young women don't like lascivious girl chasing old men.
None of us were there. We can't tell what exactly he said, how he acted, or whether your dinner companions were also offended.
Why don't you ask the other people that were there? See if they felt the same way as you did; they witnessed the same behavior, and I'm sure they'll have an opinion if they thought he crossed a line.
Good response except she wants other peoples opinions.
Depends on the context. For some reason, I automatically thought he could've been just joking? But of course I wasn't there so you tell me. I have an uncle who's happily married but has a (arguably) bad habit of telling younger women "You're lookin' good, I'm gonna take you home with me!" right in front of his wife.
Yeah, I know. Sounds incredibly awful. But that's the point; because I've seen it and maybe can't articulate why I don't find it in terribly bad taste, it could be a similar thing with the guy in your story. Maybe he was actually happy being single, and just goofing around.
Just because he thought the waitress was cute and attractive does not necessarily mean he didn't also think that the ladies at the table were as well. As per my late husband and my male friends, men are always thinking about sex. It is really hard for them not to. And they sometimes talk about girls they think are good looking. That does not necessarily mean that they are going to act on it.
By the sounds of it you were on a friendly outing with friends and he might have felt casual enough and comfortable enough to just say what he thought, thinking that the women at the table were friends rather than prospective conquests. I think perhaps you and he had different ideas of what the outing was about. Personally I would enjoy being out with a mixed group where the guys were just being themselves and not trying to impress me and the women were not hunting for a mate among the group. It tells me more about who they are. And in my case it is unlikely would be hoping for more than friendship out of them anyway.
you should have said " dr phil has mentioned guys that stare and look at woman as objects do this to compensate for a short penis" its like short guys with big trucks
any guy with common sense or tact, does not comment on girls in their 20's , when 30-40 yr old ladies are around...
Where are you from dude? In that situation it was fine. There were other men there too, it wasn't a date. The OP is just hyper sensitive. I find many women, especially those in their 40's have real trouble transitioning from their youth where they were idolized, to their older ages where that doesn't happen as much. Its not fair, but most guys will always pick younger women if its just for sex, not a relationship. He wasn't looking for a relationship, he just saw a hot woman and wanted to fantasize about sex with her.
And as for your short penis comment, my first reaction is to ask the good doctor for the data to support his opinion. I'll save you the effort, he has none. It was his opinion, nothing more. If short penis' are the topic, the first group I'd point to was men who watch Dr. Phil. If my choices were hot women and a short penis, vs. not hot women and a huge penis, I'll take the hotties all day, and night, long and I suspect most men would, but i can't make that claim without data as i am not Dr. Phil.
Why does everyone feel sorry for the waitress? She may have liked it. Chances are he went back and may have ended up hooking up later. It could be the beginning of a long term relationship. How many women have ended up marrying a guy who found them attractive and said so? Hypocrites.
At some point in the evening at the restaurant, this 38-year-old man decided to start commenting aloud about how cute the waitress was, in her early 20s.
I only found it rude because, did he think that he needed to let us older women at the table know that he wasn't interested in us or didn't find us attractive? I honestly was not there to pick up on anyone, just to enjoy the evening and try out a new restaurant and meet some new friends my age.
I'm having trouble understanding your issue here.
On the one hand, you weren't interested in anything romantic or looking to pick up anyone that night. All things indicated that this was just casual get together.
On the other hand, you're upset some guy (who I'm assuming you have no romantic interest in) stated his preference in a younger lady. What exactly is the problem here? That your feelings got hurt because he wasn't fawning all over you?
I don't think he was being rude at all. It wasn't a date, it wasn't a business meeting, it wasn't a feminist convention.....it was a casual dinner. He should be free to make comments like this without worrying he'll "offend" someone.
Guys take note; this is why I try to avoid "mixed" group get-togethers. What ends up happening is at least one of the women in the group gets offended over something insignificant like this and drama ensues. Some poor sap gets blacklisted by the group because he dared violate some arbitrary code of conduct.
Life's too short to walk on eggshells. OP, grow a thick skin and stop being insecure. Happy Thanksgiving!
I think it's rude of anyone, of any sex, to ogle anyone for any reason.
Agreed. I caught my wife ogling me the other day and I had to leave her sorry ass.
Did I do good?
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