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My mother, age 84, feelings were hurt on Thanksgiving.
For the first time in years, the extended family were all together for Thanksgiving in New Jersey (just outside of NYC). Mom and Dad are getting on in the years and we don't know how many more holidays we will have with the them in the future. They were looking forward to seeing and TALKING to the Grandchildren at Thanksgiving.
But once the event started no matter how hard we tried we could not get the teens and "20somethings" eyes off of their SmartPhones and to their relatives who wanted to talk to them face to face. Us parents could have done better but they said you had to pick your battles, most of the younger relatives, ages 12-30 did not even want to be there.
So on Thanksgiving day, most of the kids and young adults (ages 13-30) spent most of their time looking at their SmartPhones and texting. Very few of them said anything to their other relatives face to face using actual voices.
Grandma complained when most of them spent most of the time at the actual Thanksgiving dinner table texting. But her complaints fell on deaf ears.
(On Friday we all went into Manhattan and saw lots of other families having Friday's version of Thanksgiving Dinner at Buco di Beppo, a popular place for large family dinners, spending most of their time texting and not talking to their family.
What a sad state of affairs!
We had a guest stay over Thanksgiving, not a teenager, a woman in her 'sixties. Except for a few minutes when we were actually eating, she kept her nose buried in her phone, texting the entire time. Sad.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,758,476 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by Duchamp Dude
Old people need to accept that this is the norm and quit bitching about it.
You know, none of the younger folks are dying to go eat thanksgiving dinners anyway, diners are always open. But it's the old ones who insist to see the entire family and do whatever it is they need to do before they kick the bucket. I have better things to do like - laundry, work out and getting things ready for next week's work or better, spend all day in bed with Duchamp Girl (though I had to humour her by going to her family dinner).
If I am making an appearance, I am doing someone a favour. They should be more than happy that I showed up, WITH my phone
Since my mother couldn't make it to DC this year, me and some friends ate Thanksgiving dinner together at a friend's house. Booze, football, hottub and a good meal. One of the best Thanksgiving's I've had in years. No cell phone nazism allowed. Proves you don't need family to have a pleasant holiday season.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,758,476 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by sawyersmom
Thank you, people like DUchamp Dude and Dissenter make my generation look bad. Most if not all of my friends value time with their family and would rather spend time talking to them then staring at their devices.
Maybe it is just my family situation, but outside of my mother, I haven't talked to or seen any of my extended family in years. I don't exactly feel I've missed out. Maybe its just me.
Maybe it is just my family situation, but outside of my mother, I haven't talked to or seen any of my extended family in years. I don't exactly feel I've missed out. Maybe its just me.
Well you're certainly not the first person of your age cohort to think family doesn't matter. And if later in life you come to realize alienating your family wasn't such an awesome idea, well you won't be the first to have that realization either.
You have a long life ahead of you, sport. And there may be some rough patches down the road for you when family is all you have to get you through. Unless you don't even have that any more because you'd rather stick your face in a 4.3" screen all day.
I'd love to see how some of the posters who are puffing out their chests try to threaten and push around the 20-somethings who are probably independent adults on no cell phone use period, talking your house, your rules. Your house may not be a democracy but it is also not Alcatraz, I'd just leave if people were that OCD about not using my phone. I would not want to be around people who go Nazi if I leave the table to take a message, family or no family. Some of the ones puffing their chests are probably not pleasant people to be around anyway, so I would not be in their presence in the first place.
"I would appreciate it if we could all be present with each other and put away our phones for the duration of the meal." That is neither unpleasant nor bossy.
However, if it's one of my nieces or nephews, they can take the ragging. "Yo, wanna join us here? You may want to play Words with Friends, but you're going to have Words from Aunts in a minute."
Don't forget, this is in the context of family. I know how to address mine. It wouldn't be above any of us to place a fake piece of dog crap on someone's plate just to see if they look up long enough to notice, and take a few photos of our own of the person being oblivious while we're at it.
Does it ever occur to people writ large that maybe we just have way too much information about way too much unimportant stuff? In Vietnam, a letter could take several weeks or more to reach me. But what a treasure to get one; something you could read and reread and even if there were bad news, it was already over and done with and if it were not, then you'd get a Red Cross message. Now, deployed troops can get bad news daily on Skype or email. "I wrecked the car". "Kids have lice". Pick you poison. But the letters contained matters of love and affection, letters you keep in a shoebox that you can read again when that writer is gone for good. We value everything thing equally it seems when most of what we hear, are told, is junk. I still enjoy reading some of the letters my wife wrote to me to include the adventures of 3 little ones which to this day make me smile. I think our modern communications are a sad state of affairs. And yes, I have written letters which I reread before mailing. Some I tore up and started over. Now, hit that send button and it is a done deal no matter what. Maybe there were some good old days after all. I used to think that was a myth, but now I don't think so.
Sounds like a grandfather who was never disciplined.
Times have changed and the senile folks need to accept we don't use typewriters anymore, when they used to get their asses up and go find printing ink
My 900 facebook friends, most of whom I do not know much, are as important as the wrinkles sitting across the tables, some of whom can't even see how many eyes I have
Are you in your 900 friends' wills? Because if you were my grandkid, you wouldn't be in mine.
Old people need to accept that this is the norm and quit bitching about it.
You know, none of the younger folks are dying to go eat thanksgiving dinners anyway, diners are always open. But it's the old ones who insist to see the entire family and do whatever it is they need to do before they kick the bucket. I have better things to do like - laundry, work out and getting things ready for next week's work or better, spend all day in bed with Duchamp Girl (though I had to humour her by going to her family dinner).
If I am making an appearance, I am doing someone a favour. They should be more than happy that I showed up, WITH my phone
Since my mother couldn't make it to DC this year, me and some friends ate Thanksgiving dinner together at a friend's house. Booze, football, hottub and a good meal. One of the best Thanksgiving's I've had in years. No cell phone nazism allowed. Proves you don't need family to have a pleasant holiday season.
Dude, there's nothing wrong with you or me.
The only person I care about in the world now are my mother and my brother. And now, it's my girlfriend.
I have a huge family of rando uncles, aunts, cousins and grand-parent figures I haven't associated myself with in years, though I keep hearing they are upset I am so disconnected and that they "need" to see me.
In a situation like that, I'm only doing them a favour if I show up, as I clearly do not need an extended family and unnecessary gift-buying and chatter to up my self-worth.
And yes, my devices and social media, and my work phone always are tied to me like an appendage. And I'm sorry it offended you that I'm not listening to how you made your cookies which only make me fat.
The only person I care about in the world now are my mother and my brother. And now, it's my girlfriend.
I have a huge family of rando uncles, aunts, cousins and grand-parent figures I haven't associated myself with in years, though I keep hearing they are upset I am so disconnected and that they "need" to see me.
In a situation like that, I'm only doing them a favour if I show up, as I clearly do not need an extended family and unnecessary gift-buying and chatter to up my self-worth.
And yes, my devices and social media, and my work phone always are tied to me like an appendage. And I'm sorry it offended you that I'm not listening to how you made your cookies which only make me fat.
See...this is exactly what pisses me off too! Lots of bragging, and discussions about how much one has! WHY? Why can't we talk about anything else!
FIL bought a $90 camper...you know what he does all day? watches horrible reality TV shows!!! and blames his wife for not retiring "already" so he can go around the country! I mean really? who gives a crap, you want to go? GO!
Quote:
I clearly do not need an extended family and unnecessary gift-buying and chatter to up my self-worth.
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