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"We'll Get Together Sometime" or "Let's Get Together Sometime" et al.
More often than not, those who say this will never get together with you. So why say it at all?
Examples:
Dropped-off/picked-up my preteen at a friend's house. Friend's father likes to chitchat and drops the line. "Our families have to get together sometime. We'll have you over for a barbecue." Sounds great! Not one interaction, not two... but six times! Hey, this guy must really want to get together; so not to be rude, I begin to try setting a date and time. "Sometime soon" is his reply. We keep this going another few times. Hey, I never asked for an invitation but if you keep telling me that one's forthcoming, by the eighth time either put up or shut up! So I pushed it. How about next Friday? No, how about Saturday? Nope? Okay. Now he doesn't talk anymore.
New neighbors. Soon learn they're my not-so-distant relatives! She likes to walk and there's a neighborhood walking club my spouse is a member of. So we invite the new neighbor to walk. "Too busy tomorrow but we'll get together sometime."
• Summer block party? — Similar reply.
• Neighborhood holiday cheer? — Ditto.
• Mutual relative's fiftieth anniversary barbecue. — "We'll stop by if we can. Otherwise, let's get together sometime!" Well, they couldn't and we didn't.
Hey, really... we're somewhat gregarious, have adequate friends/family, and don't beg either way; but WHAT'S WITH THEM??? If you never plan to get together, why say it and make yourself a liar?
Enlighten me City-Data friends! What am I missing?
I encounter that all the time. You can pretty much kiss the chance of something actually happening goodbye when someone utters "We'll get together sometime" lol. I think a lot of people just use it as awkward conversation filler.
Last edited by ilovemycomputer90; 07-03-2017 at 05:37 PM..
I wouldn't lose much sleep over this myself, as I think its just a catch phrase, not an intentional lie or a commitment. If they really want to get together they will. If they don't, they won't. People are busy. They prioritize. If they choose to do something else, that's their business. If you really really want them to join you for something send them a nice invitation with an RSVP and do it early, not last minute.
"We'll Get Together Sometime" or "Let's Get Together Sometime" et al.
More often than not, those who say this will never get together with you. So why say it at all?
Examples:
Dropped-off/picked-up my preteen at a friend's house. Friend's father likes to chitchat and drops the line. "Our families have to get together sometime. We'll have you over for a barbecue." Sounds great! Not one interaction, not two... but six times! Hey, this guy must really want to get together; so not to be rude, I begin to try setting a date and time. "Sometime soon" is his reply. We keep this going another few times. Hey, I never asked for an invitation but if you keep telling me that one's forthcoming, by the eighth time either put up or shut up! So I pushed it. How about next Friday? No, how about Saturday? Nope? Okay. Now he doesn't talk anymore.
New neighbors. Soon learn they're my not-so-distant relatives! She likes to walk and there's a neighborhood walking club my spouse is a member of. So we invite the new neighbor to walk. "Too busy tomorrow but we'll get together sometime."
• Summer block party? — Similar reply.
• Neighborhood holiday cheer? — Ditto.
• Mutual relative's fiftieth anniversary barbecue. — "We'll stop by if we can. Otherwise, let's get together sometime!" Well, they couldn't and we didn't.
Hey, really... we're somewhat gregarious, have adequate friends/family, and don't beg either way; but WHAT'S WITH THEM??? If you never plan to get together, why say it and make yourself a liar?
Enlighten me City-Data friends! What am I missing?
That's annoying. It's almost as if it's the latest version of "have a nice day"--just something to say.
A friend of my mother's called once when I was visiting my mom from out-of-state. She sounded very enthusiastic, was thrilled to talk to me, and said, "we'll have to have lunch!" Since she'd always wanted to get closer to me, when I was a kid, I had no reason to think she wasn't serious. I assumed she meant lunch with my mom and me, both. So I said that was a great idea, and asked her when, since I was only going to be there a week or so. She was shocked! She blurted out, "WHAAAAAAT??!" and hung up on me!
That was my first introduction to this fake, "We should get together sometime" thing. Never encountered it before then.
I wouldn't lose much sleep over this myself, as I think its just a catch phrase, not an intentional lie or a commitment. If they really want to get together they will. If they don't, they won't. People are busy. They prioritize. If they choose to do something else, that's their business. If you really really want them to join you for something send them a nice invitation with an RSVP and do it early, not last minute.
I agree; it either is to be taken verbatim or it's just a friendly, cliche phrase. You have learned it means the latter.. I have an aquaintance from NY, who tosses similar phrases around and I am from the deep south; we have yet to have coffee/lunch, etc. but do converse on phone when need be.
I wish I could enlighten you, I don't get it either.
I actually had someone email me that I have done volunteer work with for 2 years a few weeks back. I had to bow out from this for the time being, due to an unexpected death in the family. So this person contacts me asks how I am doing, misses seeing me, and was I available for lunch or coffee, and to please let them know.
I emailed back and said thank you for checking, and yes I would love to do lunch or coffee and threw out some dates and asked if they were good for them.....never heard back...LOL. If they didn't really want to why ask? Or just email back and say those days don't work, and let it die on the vine.
I have come to the conclusion after this one it's pointless to figure them out, you would go insane trying to, and if people do actually follow through and do what they say, be pleasantly suprised.
I wouldn't lose much sleep over this myself, as I think its just a catch phrase, not an intentional lie or a commitment. If they really want to get together they will. If they don't, they won't. People are busy. They prioritize. If they choose to do something else, that's their business. If you really really want them to join you for something send them a nice invitation with an RSVP and do it early, not last minute.
Busy is the new word used today for "don't really want to be bothered".
You're missing the point, the OP didn't suggest this, the other person did. And not just once, several times.
How about this idea? If you never had any intention of doing this when the OP picks up their kid, be friendly and polite, make a little small talk, but leave off the BBQ invite that is never going to happen.
I hate that line too. I've already got to the to the point when I hear it, it's all I can do to keep from rolling my eyes at the person. Funny thing, it's always the receiver that has to put the effort in setting something up and the person who said it blows it off. At this point of time, the onus is on that person. Only a handful of times I've been pleasantly surprised and we have a great time.
"Busy" is another one I dislike too because I know many who actually aren't. I would've appreciated it more if they did say can't be be bothered. But oh well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
That's annoying. It's almost as if it's the latest version of "have a nice day"--just something to say.
A friend of my mother's called once when I was visiting my mom from out-of-state. She sounded very enthusiastic, was thrilled to talk to me, and said, "we'll have to have lunch!" Since she'd always wanted to get closer to me, when I was a kid, I had no reason to think she wasn't serious. I assumed she meant lunch with my mom and me, both. So I said that was a great idea, and asked her when, since I was only going to be there a week or so. She was shocked! She blurted out, "WHAAAAAAT??!" and hung up on me!
That was my first introduction to this fake, "We should get together sometime" thing. Never encountered it before then.
I'm sorry, I had to laugh at that. That's pretty funny.
This happened to me more in California than anywhere else, but it still happens to me on the east coast.
I was raised in Sweden and moved to the US as a young teen. In Sweden, we tend to be a bit more serious about these things. If we invite you to dinner, you are expected to come unless of course there is some reason you really can't. We would never pry about why you might be "busy" and take it at face value as the truth.
Not so as much in the US I learned. Now I don't believe anyone actually wants to get together until they are on my doorstep.
It's kind of like the old Hollywood style parting...
I've dabbled in the Industry here and there for decades, and have seen/met numerous actors, directors, writers, etc. Traditionally, at some get-together, like a wrap party, they'll lightly hug/touch, and say, "Let's do lunch!" But of course, they never see or contact each other again.
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