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Women definitely have a tougher go of it than men for many reasons, including both physically and societally.
I admire women who recognize that they don't want to have children because it's so much against expectations. But having a baby is not something you can easily undo and so if you're not committed to the experience, don't do it.
And why do people care so much about what a woman chooses to do with her own body? It shouldn't be part of the common dialogue, it shouldn't be addressed legally and it shouldn't be judged by society.
I think Radhika Jones nailed it in the interview when she said that women get judged for any choice they make.
Exactly this. If you go against the grain and choose to be childless while living in a large urban area, where people tend to mind their own beeswax, the question rarely comes up.
But if you have to move back to your backwater of a hometown, where most people are just doing what everyone around them is doing with their lives (job-marriage-house-kids-the end) you get a LOT of questions about being childless.
I think we all experience curiosity about others and why they make the choices they make. I respect and applaud people who make the decision not to have children if they don't want to be a parent. That doesn't mean I don't have opinions on that choice. (I try not to share them with the people involved.) For instance, I know two women who choose not to be parents. Fine. One woman comes from a background where her mom was not a good parent. Emotionally, this person fears that she would not be a good parent. The other woman is 50 years old and has always wanted to party. She likes to be the center of attention. She is also the diva who thinks everyone else should cater to her demands. She demands to be surrounded by family during the holidays even though the others have children and want their own decisions. IMO, this individual will eventually regret her decision not to have become a mother.
It's just appalling the way the entire world obsesses over women's sexuality and their choices in general. And I do mean OBSESS. I just do not get it. Why do people care SO MUCH about every detail of every woman's life?
Why do people care so much about details of everyone's life? I get asked all the time why I don't have kids and I'm not a woman. It actually does go both ways, although I can imagine women get asked more.
I've been accused of being selfish, I've been condescended to ("You'd understand if you only you were a parent"), I've been asked if I were gay (because of course gay women can't have children), I've been pitied ("Oh dear and now it's too late"), I've even been dumped because I didn't have kids (by a man who'd had a vasectomy ). The level of ignorance, intrusiveness and outright misogyny has been breath-taking over the years.
Women without children like Patrice Grell Yursik, who just celebrated her 12th wedding anniversary, get the same questions all the time.
"I can't even tell you how many cab drivers in Chicago, in New York, in L.A., have asked me, 'So any kids? No kids, why no kids?' It's just the way that people engage with you," said Grell Yursik, 35, of Chicago, creator of the beauty and lifestyle blog Afrobella.com. She and her husband have not decided whether they want to have children.
It's just appalling the way the entire world obsesses over women's sexuality and their choices in general. And I do mean OBSESS. I just do not get it. Why do people care SO MUCH about every detail of every woman's life?
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYC2RDU
Women definitely have a tougher go of it than men for many reasons, including both physically and societally.
And why do people care so much about what a woman chooses to do with her own body? It shouldn't be part of the common dialogue, it shouldn't be addressed legally and it shouldn't be judged by society.
^^^^ I don't understand it either and this is coming from someone who had 2 children. It's nobody's
business and that's it!
I think with the taxi driver, he's just trying to make conversation and many women can't seem to get enough talking about their kids. So he really doesn't care and probably doesn't even listen once they start talking, it just makes his day go more quickly, like listening to the radio at work. So when he doesn't get the usual stream of kid talk, he then needs a new topic, so "Why didn't you have any" is the natural (although rude and nosy) follow up question. When people ask me if I have kids, I just reply "Child-free and loving it!" If I get asked why I just say "Personal reasons". Anyone who pries further after that must be brain dead. Seriously though, it is odd that people assume it's any of their business as to why you don't have kids. There are so many possible reasons and many are extremely personal or intensely painful. It's just way too intimate a question to ask a person you don't know that well.
It's as if it's mandatory to ask women past the age of 30
"Do you have kids"
Like this defines a woman in today's world.
Great thread btw.
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). The level of ignorance, intrusiveness and outright misogyny has been breath-taking over the years. 
I don't understand it either and this is coming from someone who had 2 children. It's nobody's
