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She frequently talks about ending her miserable life.
My sister went to a women’s college for 4 years and now she is 22 years old and has never had a boyfriend before. She has been suffering from depression and talking of stop living since there is no point to her lonely and loveless life. She cries almost every night and talks of very pressing things like she was cursed to be born so ugly and curse to have gone to a women’s college.
I work full-time and even though I tried my best sometimes I can’t be patient with her. She finds me very cruel and heartless. And I find myself not doing the best I can in being a sister. What can I do? She said the only way she can stop being depressed and miserable if she has a boyfriend – but how can she find a boyfriend if she keeps being like this? Please help.
She frequently talks about ending her miserable life.
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My sister wen**t to a women’s college for 4 years and now she is 22 years old and has never had a boyfriend before. She has been suffering from depression and talking of stop living since there is no point to her lonely and loveless life. She cries almost every night and talks of very pressing things like she was cursed to be born so ugly and curse to have gone to a women’s college.
I work full-time and even though I tried my best sometimes I can’t be patient with her. She finds me very cruel and heartless. And I find myself not doing the best I can in being a sister. What can I do? She said the only way she can stop being depressed and miserable if she has a boyfriend – but how can she find a boyfriend if she keeps being like this? Please help.
A boyfriend is not the solution, therapy is. TODAY!!!
I would recommend she go see a psychiatrist. I know some people don't believe in drugs but in her case, she will probably need them just to reach a moderate level of functionality without feeling like she has to end her life. Right now she sounds like a danger to herself.
I asked her to let me take her to counseling, see a psychiatrist but she said there is no point as she doessn't want a stranger to see something intimate inside of her and it is not going to help anything since she is still feeling lonely and unwanted.
You seem really frustrated by this relationship with your sister. You seem to have an arraignment where she spills out her deepest darkest fears and heartbreak and you try to help her out of it.
Please try to put your foot down, she doesn't know what she's putting you through with her talk of suicide, and her self deprecating point of view, only you know what its taking from you. She really needs desperately needs a professional to help her, if she continues to use your time and energy to unload without doing anything about it like getting real help then you may have to just take her yourself to an ER or Clinic and sign her up for help yourself.
If you aren't able to do this, then maybe tell her that you love her very much and want the best for her, but this kind of talk is draining you and you don't have the energy for it...suggest getting professional help and postpone talking about it any more. Keep putting it off until she does something about it.
I don't think you should take suicidal talk lightly, and as a matter of fact it can be dangerous to ignore it. At least taking her somewhere gets it all out in the open. If she realizes that shes' just using your sympathetic ear and not serious about suicide then that will be a wake up call.
If she realizes that she needed help and you took her, then it may be the best thing you could ever do.
She does not need a BF to be happy. What she needs, is a change of attitude - towards EVERYTHING!
If she does not want therapy. Encourage her to write a journal. That definitely helps me release ALL my emotions!
What I do is write whatever I feel, read it, then throw it away. Maybe in her case burn it. I know some therapists does that. Supposedly it makes you fel you are burning away your negative energy.
What is adding to her problem is, she does not seem to have a way to release what she is truly feeling.
I asked her to let me take her to counseling, see a psychiatrist but she said there is no point as she doessn't want a stranger to see something intimate inside of her and it is not going to help anything since she is still feeling lonely and unwanted.
So basically she is just whining and wants attention.
You need to be straight with her.
First, explain that she needs to learn how to get her self-esteem from within, not from men. She'll never be happy with a man if she isn't happy with herself. A counselor can give her the tools she needs to become a self-possessed, independent, emotionally healthy woman.
Second, explain that it is not fair of her to put the responsibility for her happiness on someone else's shoulders. She is expecting a man to come into her life and make her happy. It doesn't work that way. If you're her older sibling and have experience in relationships, this is something you should know and feel comfortable telling her. Likewise, it is not the women's college that is responsible for her lack of a love life. She is responsible for that. Only her.
Third, tell her that if she is not going to take action to work on herself, there is not much you can do. You'll be supportive if she gets the help she needs, but if she is going to persist in being her own worst enemy, you're not going to indulge the whine-fest.
You seem really frustrated by this relationship with your sister. You seem to have an arraignment where she spills out her deepest darkest fears and heartbreak and you try to help her out of it.
Please try to put your foot down, she doesn't know what she's putting you through with her talk of suicide, and her self deprecating point of view, only you know what its taking from you. She really needs desperately needs a professional to help her, if she continues to use your time and energy to unload without doing anything about it like getting real help then you may have to just take her yourself to an ER or Clinic and sign her up for help yourself.
If you aren't able to do this, then maybe tell her that you love her very much and want the best for her, but this kind of talk is draining you and you don't have the energy for it...suggest getting professional help and postpone talking about it any more. Keep putting it off until she does something about it.
I don't think you should take suicidal talk lightly, and as a matter of fact it can be dangerous to ignore it. At least taking her somewhere gets it all out in the open. If she realizes that shes' just using your sympathetic ear and not serious about suicide then that will be a wake up call.
If she realizes that she needed help and you took her, then it may be the best thing you could ever do.
Yes, misery loves company. This is manipulative, not depressive behavior.
Location: I don't know..If you find me, let me know.
639 posts, read 679,068 times
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A boyfriend is not the solution, therapy is. TODAY!!!
I agree.. she just need a good friend so just try to be friend with her and try to make her happy and don't let her feel that she is alone..
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