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My husband and I just eloped so we didn't actually have a wedding reception with guests. So in their eyes maybe they feel as though we don't deserve a gift because we didn't have a party.
Elopement doesn't just mean " we didn't actually have a wedding reception with guests."
It also means you didn't actually have a wedding with guests.
I'm attending a wedding soon and that couple didn't get me anything when I got married. So should I get them something?
If you're a tit for tat type of person, no don't get them anything. If you would normally get someone a wedding gift who invited you to their wedding because those are your social values, then it doesn't matter what they did. You stick to your values.
Yes, give them a gift. Not a big "in your face" gift but not a small, petty gift, either. Give it to celebrate their new lives together, and to also celebrate your "growing up". These aren't acquaintances or distant cousins, but your close family relatives. Time to let it go.
This couple that's getting married is my husband's sister. I feel bad for not giving anything because I'll be attending the wedding, but my husband doesn't want to give anything. Even his own mom said not to give anything since they didn't give us anything and that just evens it out. My husband and I just eloped so we didn't actually have a wedding reception with guests. So in their eyes maybe they feel as though we don't deserve a gift because we didn't have a party. They didn't even say congrats when we got married which I find rude.
Yes, it would have been gracious for them to give you a gift, but under the circumstances, I can sorta see why they are confused. You didn't want a wedding, you didn't want a celebration, you didn't want your friends to join with you in celebrating your marriage. That's fine, and certainly your preference. And yet -- you want gifts. That's a little . . . acquisitive, isn't it? You don't want to entertain your friends, you don't want to share the moment with them -- OK, your choice. But why get twisted if they honor your preference by not getting all excited about it? In their eyes, they probably think that you chose to elope because you didn't want to deal with them and "all that stuff". If his sister and he are close, I can understand that she was probably hurt to be left out.
Sorry, I just think it's funny that you think you're torqued because THEY didn't celebrate your wedding, and yet, you didn't celebrate it, either.
They are having a celebration. Buy a gift, already. Sheesh.
This couple that's getting married is my husband's sister. I feel bad for not giving anything because I'll be attending the wedding, but my husband doesn't want to give anything. Even his own mom said not to give anything since they didn't give us anything and that just evens it out. My husband and I just eloped so we didn't actually have a wedding reception with guests. So in their eyes maybe they feel as though we don't deserve a gift because we didn't have a party. They didn't even say congrats when we got married which I find rude.
You know OP, this is something you might want to lead with. Not add on several posts later.
You got married and didn't tell anyone, didn't have a reception. While it is rude they didn't at least say "congrats" when you got married, you're comparing apples to oranges.
Unless your husband already has a strained relationship with his sister, just go to wedding, smile, and bring a gift or a check.
It's not worth it in the long run to create a feud that could last for years over this nonsense.
And compared to some family issues, this is nonsense.
I find the idea that anyone is ever OWED a gift rather disturbing.
I find it distasteful bordering on repulsive.
Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin
And compared to some family issues, this is nonsense.
Petty and childish too. The one saving grace is that, with very few exceptions, the majority of respondents seem to be of the same mind.
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Not add on several posts later.
