I don't visit relatives because they always have chores! (girlfriend, person, inlaws)
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This doesn't specifically mean my relatives but my girlfriends parents! We've been together for years so we're practically married.
Anyways, every time we visit, which isn't all that far away, they always ask us to do stupid, time consuming, exhausting things like clean the outside of ALL the windows, weed the entire farmette, trim trees, fix this, fix that, pile the wood up, replace the pump in the car, etc. You know, the kind of things that take all day.
They're retired and of upper middle class background. There is absolutely no reason pops can't break open the wallet and pay someone, anyone to do these things.
So now they think I hate them because I never visit…like never…ever
I work 60 hours a week and many times only have one day completely off. I'm tired, exhausted, sore, jet lagged, and just want to recline and do…….nothing! What's with all these old people trying to get something for nothing? Not like my generation, I can tell you that.
If you can't take care of your place by yourself, I highly suggest downgrading.
This doesn't specifically mean my relatives but my girlfriends parents! We've been together for years so we're practically married.
Anyways, every time we visit, which isn't all that far away, they always ask us to do stupid, time consuming, exhausting things like clean the outside of ALL the windows, weed the entire farmette, trim trees, fix this, fix that, pile the wood up, replace the pump in the car, etc. You know, the kind of things that take all day.
They're retired and of upper middle class background. There is absolutely no reason pops can't break open the wallet and pay someone, anyone to do these things.
So now they think I hate them because I never visit…like never…ever
I work 60 hours a week and many times only have one day completely off. I'm tired, exhausted, sore, jet lagged, and just want to recline and do…….nothing! What's with all these old people trying to get something for nothing? Not like my generation, I can tell you that.
If you can't take care of your place by yourself, I highly suggest downgrading.
Why would he do that when he has you to do it for free? Learn how to say no... and mean it. What's the worst that can happen? They won't let you come & visit any more. Sounds like you would be better off.
Do they do this WITH you? As in maybe they just have no idea what to do to keep you entertained or occupied while you visit and that's their idea of spending quality 'family time' together?
Have you talked to them about this? In a friendly tone?
My 1st impression was that you were being selfish or lazy. Why not help the old fogeys?
Then I got to the only one day off a week part and totally understood.
Being a technically savvy type person, I've encountered similar issues with friends, family, etc. As soon as they know that you know how to navigate around a computer, every (and I mean EVERY) visit resulted in me performing various technical support functions. While I didn't mind helping at first, it soon moved to being asked to help friends in their neighborhoods, receiving calls for help late at night, etcetera.
The only way I got it to stop was to be very direct (aka - dickish) about it. If you invite me over for a visit, let's visit and enjoy time with each other, not relegate me to the computer desk for hours while you sit and watch Seinfeld reruns
That sounds very annoying. Do they know how often you work? I would be actually kind of insulted on top of just being too tired to feel like doing it.
I have some neighbours that are good with their hands, and they definitely get taken advantage of too. Better to just make it clear that the odd time is okay, but not every time.
Maybe you could schedule 1 day a month to complete any chores that they neeed done that are within your capabilities? Then you are helping them, you can visit without worrying about chores and they get the chores done on a scheduled day!
I think it would be a grand gesture on the part of the OP to help his girlfriend's retired (aka elderly) parents with things they may have difficulty doing.
We should step up and help others.
OP, what does your girlfriend have to say about this?
ETA: DH said that maybe they keep the OP busy because they don't care for him (or for how he acts around their daughter!)..... LOL! Different perspective!
Where does the young lady stand? If she is on-board - wear nice clothes, have commitments you cannot break the same day, say "next week" or "when I get to it" or "I may have someone who works on the side".
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