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I'm 19. About two or three years ago, I was in a club at my college with several other people - we got along, talked, didn't do much outside of meetings (at least, I didn't). I don't maintain contact with any of them...
...except one.
This guy is now in his early thirties. I believe he is from the States, but he doesn't speak English very well and, from what I can tell, doesn't have terribly good social skills. I know this because he added me on Facebook and now messages me once a week or every other week.
He doesn't say anything that could be considered inappropriate, but he asks about things that I've posted on my timeline - if I post that I was happy or discouraged, he'll ask why, if I make a comment about having misplaced something, he'll message me and ask what I misplaced, if I write that I signed up for classes, he'll ask which ones. I don't think I have ever messaged him first, but he keeps messaging me and asking about things that I've posted, presumably to make conversation.
I don't know what to make of this. He doesn't have any family that I know of and I don't want to snub him if he's just lonely, but I am getting really tired of constantly being asked what in this context feel like intrusive questions. I tend to give him short answers but he still makes conversation. There's something about this that doesn't seem quite right.
I think if you don't want a conversation, stop responding. I don't understand why people make attention seeking status updates, and then complain about the attention.
I think if you don't want a conversation, stop responding. I don't understand why people make attention seeking status updates, and then complain about the attention.
I'm 19. About two or three years ago, I was in a club at my college with several other people - we got along, talked, didn't do much outside of meetings (at least, I didn't). I don't maintain contact with any of them...
...except one.
This guy is now in his early thirties. I believe he is from the States, but he doesn't speak English very well and, from what I can tell, doesn't have terribly good social skills. I know this because he added me on Facebook and now messages me once a week or every other week.
He doesn't say anything that could be considered inappropriate, but he asks about things that I've posted on my timeline - if I post that I was happy or discouraged, he'll ask why, if I make a comment about having misplaced something, he'll message me and ask what I misplaced, if I write that I signed up for classes, he'll ask which ones. I don't think I have ever messaged him first, but he keeps messaging me and asking about things that I've posted, presumably to make conversation.
I don't know what to make of this. He doesn't have any family that I know of and I don't want to snub him if he's just lonely, but I am getting really tired of constantly being asked what in this context feel like intrusive questions. I tend to give him short answers but he still makes conversation. There's something about this that doesn't seem quite right.
What do you think?
I know it's hard for people your age, and in some cases for people my age, but try not posting all your business online. In reality FB for people like you that need do updates on everything you do is like talking in the mirror(you see in reality most people don't really care about what you're doing or thinking).
But if you have a possible stalker, now you have a problem.
Stop responding to him, and try not posting all your business online.
You're like the people who post on FB that they're going on vacation, and then they're shocked when the house gets robbed.
Because if he turns out to be a problem person and there you are telling everyone what classes you're in, and your whereabouts, he may just show up someday.
He doesn't say anything that could be considered inappropriate, but he asks about things that I've posted on my timeline - if I post that I was happy or discouraged, he'll ask why, if I make a comment about having misplaced something, he'll message me and ask what I misplaced, if I write that I signed up for classes, he'll ask which ones. I don't think I have ever messaged him first, but he keeps messaging me and asking about things that I've posted, presumably to make conversation.
I don't know what to make of this.
I thought the whole reason people posted on FB that they were discouraged, sad, etc. was to scream "Look at me! Look at me! Ask me WHY!!!"
I tend to block those people because they are too self-centered.
I'm 19. About two or three years ago, I was in a club at my college with several other people - we got along, talked, didn't do much outside of meetings (at least, I didn't). I don't maintain contact with any of them...
...except one.
This guy is now in his early thirties. I believe he is from the States, but he doesn't speak English very well and, from what I can tell, doesn't have terribly good social skills. I know this because he added me on Facebook and now messages me once a week or every other week.
He doesn't say anything that could be considered inappropriate, but he asks about things that I've posted on my timeline - if I post that I was happy or discouraged, he'll ask why, if I make a comment about having misplaced something, he'll message me and ask what I misplaced, if I write that I signed up for classes, he'll ask which ones. I don't think I have ever messaged him first, but he keeps messaging me and asking about things that I've posted, presumably to make conversation.
I don't know what to make of this. He doesn't have any family that I know of and I don't want to snub him if he's just lonely, but I am getting really tired of constantly being asked what in this context feel like intrusive questions. I tend to give him short answers but he still makes conversation. There's something about this that doesn't seem quite right.
What do you think?
Don't you have to approve someone adding you on facebook?
If you don't want to get messages from him block his access to your facebook and move on.
This is not a question that appears too difficult to answer and deal with.
By the way if you really think questions like this are "intrusive" quit posting your personal life on facebook, otherwise anything you post is open for conversation and not "intrusive" because you welcomed comments and questions simply by posting.
Regardless of why the OP posts whatever she does on Facebook...I think her issue here is that this guy doesn't publicly post his comments, he privately messages her. Am I reading that correctly, OP?
If that's the case, yes, I agree, it's a little creepy. Not Creepy, actually, but it makes me wonder about his motives, too.
Why not just ask him? And if he truly unsettles you, block him.
I'm 19. About two or three years ago, I was in a club at my college with several other people - we got along, talked, didn't do much outside of meetings (at least, I didn't). I don't maintain contact with any of them...
...except one.
This guy is now in his early thirties. I believe he is from the States, but he doesn't speak English very well and, from what I can tell, doesn't have terribly good social skills. I know this because he added me on Facebook and now messages me once a week or every other week.
He doesn't say anything that could be considered inappropriate, but he asks about things that I've posted on my timeline - if I post that I was happy or discouraged, he'll ask why, if I make a comment about having misplaced something, he'll message me and ask what I misplaced, if I write that I signed up for classes, he'll ask which ones. I don't think I have ever messaged him first, but he keeps messaging me and asking about things that I've posted, presumably to make conversation.
I don't know what to make of this. He doesn't have any family that I know of and I don't want to snub him if he's just lonely, but I am getting really tired of constantly being asked what in this context feel like intrusive questions. I tend to give him short answers but he still makes conversation. There's something about this that doesn't seem quite right.
What do you think?
Quote:
Originally Posted by puginabug
Regardless of why the OP posts whatever she does on Facebook...I think her issue here is that this guy doesn't publicly post his comments, he privately messages her. Am I reading that correctly, OP?
If that's the case, yes, I agree, it's a little creepy. Not Creepy, actually, but it makes me wonder about his motives, too.
Why not just ask him? And if he truly unsettles you, block him.
That's how I'm reading it as well. He messages her regarding her posts. I agree with you--doesn't matter what she's posting. I think it's weird that he doesn't seem to comment on her posts but rather, he sends her private messages. OP mentions he may lack social skills. I have to agree with her.
OP, if you don't have any actual friendship with him and you don't initiate contact with him, just unfriend him.
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