Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I know of a person that will exaggerate the truth or just downright lie about something. People get to where they don't know what's to be true when she talks.
Part of me wants to call her out when I know she is exaggerating or lying.
...and before you suggest I don't hang around her, that's not an option.
She told our family a couple of weeks ago that her daughter got a full scholarship to a Technical school based on her grades.
Come to find out the school is a non-accredited school she had attended in the past and none of the grades even transferred over.
It sounded fishy to me to begin with and come to find out her daughter said and admitted to someone else that she didn't get a scholarship based on grades but a financial grant based on income. Why would the mother even go around saying her daughter got a full scholarship based on excellent grades when that wasn't true? Why make that up? When she tells people her daughter is going to the Tech school, why even mention about how she is paying for it at all?
This lady exaggerates about so many things.
Would you start calling her out or just let her continue? How would you handle it? My thinking is that it will never change and maybe calling her out on it is a waste of time and just let her talk and be proud of her make-belief stories.
I would ignore and keep quiet no encourage. Just keep hello and bye standard.
Right now that is exactly what I do (except I can't totally ignore her) but it bothers me that she has to lie. That's crazy. I don't encourage her and I just let her talk and when she says something exciting, I just act all blah or change the subject because more than likely it's not true. It may be true but from all the lying, who knows.
I just try not to give her the attention she seems to be seeking.
I know of a person that will exaggerate the truth or just downright lie about something. People get to where they don't know what's to be true when she talks.
Part of me wants to call her out when I know she is exaggerating or lying.
...and before you suggest I don't hang around her, that's not an option.
She told our family a couple of weeks ago that her daughter got a full scholarship to a Technical school based on her grades.
Come to find out the school is a non-accredited school she had attended in the past and none of the grades even transferred over.
It sounded fishy to me to begin with and come to find out her daughter said and admitted to someone else that she didn't get a scholarship based on grades but a financial grant based on income. Why would the mother even go around saying her daughter got a full scholarship based on excellent grades when that wasn't true? Why make that up? When she tells people her daughter is going to the Tech school, why even mention about how she is paying for it at all?
This lady exaggerates about so many things.
Would you start calling her out or just let her continue? How would you handle it? My thinking is that it will never change and maybe calling her out on it is a waste of time and just let her talk and be proud of her make-belief stories.
You're right, confronting this person likely wouldn't do any good. Some people just can't help themselves, and will constantly embellish/lie/tell what they think you want to hear, etc., as a way to overcome their own insecurities. Unless her 'lies' are effecting you directly, it's probably best to just keep quiet & not listen to what comes out of her mouth. She most likely isn't going to change.
Right now that is exactly what I do (except I can't totally ignore her) but it bothers me that she has to lie. That's crazy. I don't encourage her and I just let her talk and when she says something exciting, I just act all blah or change the subject because more than likely it's not true. It may be true but from all the lying, who knows.
I just try not to give her the attention she seems to be seeking.
Why does it bother you? You should feel sorry that she has to go to such measures, perhaps to make herself feel better about herself.
My MIL is the same way, it is so bad that she truly truly truly believes her own lies, even at the expense of others (even her own grandkids). And you see that she passed this tendency onto her kids. Some of her kids are worse about it than the others. At this point, there is no point in confronting her because it'd be like fighting shadows. The only time I do say anything would be to others, away from MIL.
I prefer people be honest with me is why. I don't think most people like being lied to and yes I do realize she must have some deeper issues which causes her to lie so for that I do feel sorry for her.
...and before you suggest I don't hang around her, that's not an option.
Unless it's a coworker, why on earth would not hanging out with her not be an option?
Quote:
Originally Posted by diddlydudette
She told our family a couple of weeks ago that her daughter got a full scholarship to a Technical school based on her grades.
Come to find out the school is a non-accredited school she had attended in the past and none of the grades even transferred over.
It sounded fishy to me to begin with and come to find out her daughter said and admitted to someone else that she didn't get a scholarship based on grades but a financial grant based on income. Why would the mother even go around saying her daughter got a full scholarship based on excellent grades when that wasn't true? Why make that up? When she tells people her daughter is going to the Tech school, why even mention about how she is paying for it at all?
Why does it matter? Are you looking to hire the daughter? If not, then whether or not it's true has no bearing on you or your life, correct? Calling her out isn't going to change anything, other than possibly creating drama between you. And if, as you stated, you MUST hang out with her, then the last thing you want is drama.
So fascinating.
People like this intrigue me so much...picture me a doggy looking into a fish bowl
with a tilted head.
What happened to these people. I imagine some sort of neglect as a child so they have
to build up their stories to be noticed?
BUT, this isn't the Psychology section so enuff of that.
I had an issue when I was younger, not this one...a friend, a therapist just said non-chalantly to me in the middle of
''my issue''...Did your parents treat you like this? Is that why you...?
Stopped me in my tracks and memories flooded and I said , "Yes."
If you felt compelled to say something, try this, " Huh...(or Interesting...) Why is it you feel the need to
lie about this?'' or "How come you told 3 people about blankety blank when we both know it's not true?"
Then, zip it. Let her take the floor. Sit, nicely calm as if you are asking directions.
See how she handles it.
If she escalates...remain calm and observe...don't let her irritation upset you in any way....you did
a good thing to get the ball rolling inside her.
For one thing, she now knows she is not as smart as she thought she was.
Often these people have to feel they are superior, by feeling we are so dumb and so easily fooled.
Well, we are not.
Last edited by Miss Hepburn; 09-26-2014 at 02:56 PM..
Unless it's a coworker, why on earth would not hanging out with her not be an option?
Why does it matter? Are you looking to hire the daughter? If not, then whether or not it's true has no bearing on you or your life, correct? Calling her out isn't going to change anything, other than possibly creating drama between you. And if, as you stated, you MUST hang out with her, then the last thing you want is drama.
I just gave one example of her lying. This is just one of many. The subject of my concern is the lying and not just this one particular lie.
Last edited by diddlydudette; 09-26-2014 at 03:04 PM..
So fascinating.
People like this intrigue me so much...picture me a doggy looking into a fish bowl
with a tilted head.
What happened to these people. I imagine some sort of neglect as a child so they have
to build up their stories to be noticed?
BUT, this isn't the Psychology section so enuff of that.
I had an issue when I was younger, not this one...a friend, a therapist just said non-chalantly to me in the middle of
''my issue''...Did your parents treat you like this? Is that why you...?
Stopped me in my tracks and memories flooded and I said , "Yes."
If you felt compelled to say something, try this, " Huh...(or Interesting...) Why is it you feel the need to
lie about this?'' or "How come you told 3 people about blankety blank when we both know it's not true?"
Then, zip it. Let her take the floor. Sit, nicely calm as if you are asking directions.
See how she handles it.
If she escalates...remain calm and observe...don't let her irritation upset you in any way....you did
a good thing to get the ball rolling inside her.
Love it. You completely understand and I love your cute way of posting. I can completely see the dog looking into the fish bowl. You should be a writer. You have a way with words.
At times I'm so tempted to call her out but don't see it doing much good but wondered if it would give her something to think about and maybe it would let her know we're not dumb enough to believe everything that comes out of her mouth. It's just odd that one would make up stories where there is no need to lie. The lie is completely irrelevant to anything.
I'm also tempted at times to listen to her story and then come back with one that is just as embellished and let her see how crazy it sounds.
But I don't. I just listen and let it roll off my back and then when she leaves, I roll my eyes. I try so hard to act bored so she won't continue the story.
It reminds me of the boy who cried wolf. One day she may try to tell people something important and no one will believe her.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
