Advice on telling my parents that I'm gay

[aquietpath]

Originally Posted by runswithscissors

Why didn't you answer any of my questions?

And then the backpedal:

First you said THIS:



NOW THIS:



You seem to be VERY opinionated about this topic yet confused. Aren't her parents "family"????




The girl is going to WANT TO LIVE HER LIFE AS OPENLY AS YOU. Not "discuss" her sex life.

And even if you're going to pretend you were speaking of the gay population in general - not her - the same thing applies. WHY should people have to HIDE? Do you PAY MORE TAXES than gay people? Do you have some special social status higher than gay people? Do you have some government issued PERMITS or something? Oh wait. Yeah, prolly.

Hmmmm. Maybe you DON'T live your life openly.

HUH????? No need to attack. No matter what you feel, being gay is NOT EVER going to be totally accepted by 100% of the population. As I said, I personally don't care if you are, but this militant attitude doesn't serve your cause well. Being discrete is not "hiding". It's keeping personal business to yourself. We'll just have to agree to disagree on this matter.

[denverian]

Originally Posted by aquietpath

Not only do I not care, I don't feel it is any of my business. While I appreciate homosexuals wanting equality and don't want to be persecuted or discriminated against, many people don't want it constantly thrown in their faces. Therefore, I don't want to see a gay pride parade, or listen to yet another celebrity make a big announcement of their gayness. It's personal, so keep it that way.

If you are gay, fine. Just don't expect that the world needs or wants to know. Aside from a trusted few, why does everyone have to know? What purpose does it serve? I worked in the beauty industry alongside many gay men. None of them flaunted it, but it was understood they weren't straight. Big deal. My very best friend in my teens was gay, but I only knew it years into our relationship. Again - no big deal to me, but she only got negativity when she announced it to her co-workers. My neighbor, who I like very much, is probably gay, but I would never presume to ask and there is no need for him to tell me. It may be the generation I am from, but what in the world is wrong with discretion and privacy?

I don't have a problem with you being gay, but these big announcements and momentous "coming out of the closet" moments seem to be unnecessary for the most part, and may be stirring up more anti gay sentiments instead of making the issue more the norm.

Because it's about living your life openly and honestly. People I work with know I'm gay because I discuss my partner and our children. I've never said, "I'm gay", but by saying I have children, people then ask about my "wife", so I have to correct them. What would you rather I do? Pretend that I have a wife at work and make up lies? Then when there is some work function where families are invited, recruit a "pretend wife" and tell my kids that we're all lying to my coworkers? Would you enjoy going to work every day and pretending to be single?

[Mr.2089]

Someone please rationally and scientifically explain to me how the human brain is capable of being attracted to the same sex as your own. Im against gay marriage and its my right to be. I don't hate gay people but I just don't subscribe to their agenda.

Whats funny is I'll get bashed for voicing my own opinion. God forbid I have my own thoughts and do not follow popular opinion.

As for OP question....don't be surprised if your parents don't take the news well...

[JrzDefector]

Originally Posted by Mr.2089

Someone please rationally and scientifically explain to me how the human brain is capable of being attracted to the same sex as your own. Im against gay marriage and its my right to be. I don't hate gay people but I just don't subscribe to their agenda.

Whats funny is I'll get bashed for voicing my own opinion. God forbid I have my own thoughts and do not follow popular opinion.

As for OP question....don't be surprised if your parents don't take the news well...

And what is the gay agenda?

If you're not gay, I fail to see how gay marriage affects you. By opposing gay marriage, you're imposing YOUR agenda on them.

You don't have to follow popular opinion. But I don't see why you can't accept that other consenting adults deserve to be able to love who they love.

Gay people living their lives does not affect you in any way.

[John13]

Originally Posted by Mr.2089

Someone please rationally and scientifically explain to me how the human brain is capable of being attracted to the same sex as your own. Im against gay marriage and its my right to be. I don't hate gay people but I just don't subscribe to their agenda.

Whats funny is I'll get bashed for voicing my own opinion. God forbid I have my own thoughts and do not follow popular opinion.

As for OP question....don't be surprised if your parents don't take the news well...

Because your brain is not wired to be attracted to the same sex but some other people are.

Did I really have to explain that?

I'd also like to know what "agenda." People need to stay out of their business and let them live their lives. Gay couples should have the same rights as any other couple. People who disagree are nothing more than intolerant bigots but they have every right to be that way.

[MattClyde]

Originally Posted by Mr.2089

Someone please rationally and scientifically explain to me how the human brain is capable of being attracted to the same sex as your own. Im against gay marriage and its my right to be. I don't hate gay people but I just don't subscribe to their agenda.

Whats funny is I'll get bashed for voicing my own opinion. God forbid I have my own thoughts and do not follow popular opinion.

As for OP question....don't be surprised if your parents don't take the news well...

having an opinion and stupidity aren't mutually exclusive.

[Nozzferrahhtoo]

Originally Posted by Mr.2089

Someone please rationally and scientifically explain to me how the human brain is capable of being attracted to the same sex as your own.

Sure. I can help you there.

Why do men have nipples? We have nipples because every human contains ALL the genes for being both sexes. If you are male then it just happens that your male sex genetics are being "expressed" as we say in biology. Or "turned on" to use more basic terms. If you are female it is the female genes that are "turned on". But both sexes HAVE the genes for the other sex. They are just mostly not "turned on".

There are, essentially, two reasons for this. The most well known is that we have an XX-XY chromosome diversity between the sexes in our species. This decides many of the genes to "turn on" which is what, for the most part, turns you male or female during your fetal development.

We also know of mutations to this where people have more than the XX or XY, but XXY and so on. These are the hermaphrodites and she-males you might have heard about or seen in pornography.

However it is not just genes during development that "turn on" genes in this way. Hormones do it too. Hormones that you are exposed to in the mother when you first develop, and hormones you are exposed to through your life.

So: GIVEN you have all the genes for both sexes.... you THEREFORE have all the genes for being attracted to both sexes. Normally the genes for being attracted to the OPPOSITE sex are "turned on" or expressed. All that homosexuality requires therefore is that the "wrong" genetics be expressed. Nothing more. Nothing less.

And it is not hard to imagine this happening given, as I already examples, we have many examples of that very the happening in other areas.... such as she-males, hermaphrodites, male breasts, unexpected hair growth on women (especially those with PCOS) and much much more.

So genetically homosexuality really should require no more than another example in a long list of examples we already have.

Originally Posted by Mr.2089

Im against gay marriage and its my right to be. I don't hate gay people but I just don't subscribe to their agenda.

Then simply do not have a gay marriage. No one is asking you to or expecting you to. However when entering into the public sphere and actively campaigning against homosexual marriages for OTHERS, then it is somewhat expected you can construct a rational argument for this position above simply declaring it is your right.

Originally Posted by Mr.2089

Whats funny is I'll get bashed for voicing my own opinion. God forbid I have my own thoughts and do not follow popular opinion.

That depends on your definition of "bashed" I guess. Some people are so sensitive in their sensibilities that they see mere disagreement as being "bashed". If you are not so overly sensitive then I doubt you will consider yourself "bashed" at all. Certainly nothing in THIS post I have just written is "bashing" anything.