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Currently I am out of town to visit my parent . My girlfriend just sent me an email and she complained about not being considered for a promotion and bonus while doing a good work . She is feeling really lost now . Please help me by suggesting a few good thing I can say to her to make her happy again. This is the first time I have to deal with this situation.
Well, definitely be supportive & be on her side & tell her to keep her head up! You can bash all those work arseholes together over a good meal to help her vent & get it all out! She should, however not be in too deep a slump over this. She should know that life isn't fair & doesn't always go our way no matter how badly she thinks she deserved the promotion. Hopefully better things are in store for her very soon!
Just say "I'm sorry, Baby, that sucks". She doesnt' want you to "fix" her or "make" her happy, just listen and let her know you hear and understand. It's actually annoying for most women when men want to offer us solutions rather than just listen.
This. ^^^^^ Though I'm not a typical woman and good suggestions go a long way with me.
If the person promoted was more senior than your GF, that happens a lot. It might not be fair and the senior person might not be the best candidate for that job but they've paid their dues and in many companies seniority is often highly considered as part of the over-all package especially with supervisory positions. It is what it is.
The bonus is another story. If her peers are getting bonuses and she is not, there is something that isn't working at work for the employer and your GF and she needs to find out what that is. If an employee approached me in a non-accusatory way as a supervisor and asked how they could improve their work so as to be on the bonus/promotion track I would give them specific tips based upon their work record as to how to do that. If an employee came in with an entitled attitude, that might set the stage for a performance review. Not good.
If your GF gets annual performance reviews, she needs to really listen for what is critiqued and what is missing in the praise department. Frankly I worked as a peer with some young folks just coming in that were sure they should be a supervisor if not run the facility a year or two past checkout. It doesn't work that way. Institutional knowledge and maturity in the job are important factors even for top performers and frankly some were entitled delusionals who barely pulled their weight but thought that they were God's gift to be endlessly praised and compensated.
Hear her out and maybe steer her to this thread if you find enough worth reading.
Just say "I'm sorry, Baby, that sucks". She doesnt' want you to fix" her or "make" her happy, just listen and let her know you hear and understand. It's actually annoying for most women when men want to offer us solutions rather than just listen.
Correct and that is in Ch 1 of' Men are from Mars...' fame.
It also helps to ask her for her bosses home addresses and lic plate numbers....it will
make her laugh that
you are planning a potato in their tailpipe...or Limberger cheese on the exhaust manifold.
Women love the big defender/protector thing.
Currently I am out of town to visit my parent . My girlfriend just sent me an email and she complained about not being considered for a promotion and bonus while doing a good work . She is feeling really lost now . Please help me by suggesting a few good thing I can say to her to make her happy again. This is the first time I have to deal with this situation.
Tattoo this to your wrist: You can sympathize and be supportive, but you are not responsible for her happiness. Happiness comes from within. It is not your job to solve her problems.
Tell her it might not have anything to do with her. One of the managers where I work was passed up for a promotion one time and got it the second time around.
Just listen and let her vent. But try not to let her get so wrapped up in the unfairness of it all that she begins to obsess over it. Her calling you at your parents to dump on you because she's frustrated with her job is a little bizarre. What does she expect you to do? Is it going to change anything at work? Probably not.
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