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My dad is kind of techy. He knows his way around HVAC and electrician stuff and can build a computer, setup a smart home network that combines all kinds of functionality. He's reasonably clever with all sorts of tech. So when my Stepmom's old parents lived down the road, he would be called upon to set up any new gadgets they acquired. Not only are they severely tech-illiterate, but get this... Grandpa feels that it is an absolute necessity to keep all boxes, inserts, manuals, etc that come with anything. What drove my Dad crazy was the boxes. Stacks and stacks being stored in the garage. He tried to get rid of them and Grandpa threw a fit because the graphics and descriptions on the side of the box are important information that he may one day need. So the boxes get kept. They just moved to Florida a few months ago, and I suspect they took all of those boxes with them. Actually though it might not have been so bad if they used them to pack up the devices that came in them. I wonder who set up their TV and computer and everything down there, since Dad wasn't there....
Me...I am the Mom in the house and I am the techie one. I also build computers. I can learn to do anything if I feel like putting in the time and research. Except maybe music. I can't make music. Otherwise though... What bugs me is how hard it is with some devices compared to others. My kids have had so many game consoles, and something is always going wrong with one or another. You go online and seek a solution and get all kinds of weird obscure non-information from a dozen different forums. Like for instance apparently connecting two XBox 360's to the same wifi network is problematic. They try and kick each other off, something to do with MAC addresses, I can't remember. But this stuff is a real pain. The Android cellphones are a pain, too, I agree. I will never again buy one where you can't pop off the back and take out the battery. I am convinced that my HTC phones (unibody like an IPhone) had planned obsolescence going on with the battery that couldn't be changed out and the thing died right around the time the warranty was due to be up.
I have a 47 year old husband and two teenage sons and none of them know that much about the tech they use, and I have to support all of it. And yeah, sometimes it is aggravating. At least two of them will (hopefully) some day grow up and move out...
I watch my young grandchildren playing Minecraft with each other on their separate cellphones and hear them saying things like don't touch that gold and get that lurker (or whatever ) over there and it boggles my mind. But they know how to do all that and I don't and don't care. But I do know how to fix my wireless router when it's down and how to switch functions on my TV so it's all good. Plus I swear children nowadays have some sort of built-in tech chip when they're born. Not available in 1947.
My DH has a nephew much younger than him. If it weren't for the techie help he provides, they have little else in common to talk about. It is sad that lives change with time but the nephew has his friends and a job most envey in large tech company. At this time in our life we have little in common with him, except the real, or perceived, need for a little tech help just to keep a small connection.
P.S., Maryland's worst beats Atlanta's best so North Beach is right on.
My career is in IT, and I know common computer issues like the back of my hand. My older relatives don't listen to my preventative advice (the younger ones don't need help), pretty much because they've never respected me. I just wait for them to admit that they were wrong, and to ask me to fix their mess.
I get a lot of this from my Mom. She's been trying to 'learn' to use a computer for 20 years. She expects long distance tech support from all of us. Then she'll complain to one son that the other 'did something' to the computer. She loves to play the victim and uses this to pit us against each other. Truly, her cognitive function is now deteriorated to the point that she Can not learn, but I think she could have 15 years ago if she wasn't such a big baby.
I work at the public library and help people with computers a lot. What I've noticed is that when they need to accomplish what I think is a simple task (such as attaching a file to an email, saving a document from email to the computer, etc), they want to follow step by step directions. The only way to really learn and apply what you learn to new technology is to understand HOW it works. For some people that is as simple as a visual map.
I got a schematic with my new TV...i referred to it briefly when I got stuck and made perfect sense to me!
My work experience has led me to contemplate the digital divide...few people have had direct instruction in technology use, Lots of people don't own computers yet. AND are embarrassed to ask questions and learn. They just figure that is for other people. There is an assumption that all young people naturally know how to use technology. Not true. Plenty of kids don't feel comfortable fiddling with something to see how it works. I think that only describes about 25% of the population.
I'm working slowly within my library system to encourage the development some educational opportunities for those who are not tech savvy. It is not really perceived as 'our job' so it is slow going. But you can't make people want to learn. they have to take initiative for themselves!
OP, I think you should take some time when helping your family members with their tech questions to TEACH them patiently about what you are doing and how. Encourage them, find ways to make simple analogies they'll understand, and don't deride them for their lack of knowledge.
I guess my main beef was, why did it end up being my problem?
Why were my mom and sister glaring at me when I got home? Why didn't they ask my brother about it?
What would they have done if I hadn't been there? Just never used the TV again?
Than why don't you have the answers? How come you didn't say something to your brother? "You know mom and sis got frustrated because of what changes you made to the TV, and I had to take care of it, next time before you go somewhere change it back"(something he should have done in the first place).
A little communication would help, and it was really such a strain for you to help them. Most people when they come home to see family for Christmas enjoy helping, it's not like it is long term.
On another note OP, two posters have commented on your very insensitive comments on them being "brain damaged", both of the posters have suffered brain injuries, not a peep out of you on that.
Now we know why you have your other thread where you weren't even told or invited to a wedding of a supposedly close friend, and you have concerns that when you see them at a NYE
s party they may not want to hear you could be moving to Chicago.....hmmmm.
Maybe I'm giving the OP too much credit, but I don't think he was posting this as a major issue. Also, I can't speak for the OP, but my in-laws total cluelessness with technology takes up a ton of time every time we visit them. Heck, they bring something that needs to be fixed with them when they visit us about 95% of the time, as well. My husband takes it all in stride, but it really cuts into any visiting time we have with them. The fact that they can garden and we kill our house plants is awesome, but our house plant incompetence doesn't require 2 hours from them on every visit.
I took the whole post as being more tongue and cheek though. I find it amazing that people as intelligent as my parents and my husband's parents cannot understand how to set up a DVD player. I mean, they raised me and I've managed to figure it out (I generally don't read manuals, either). Most of the time when something is really screwed up my husband pulls out the manual and figures it out. There's nothing special going on and it's something our parents are totally capable of, but for some reason they've decided they are not going to try when it comes to technology. If their sink broke they'd figure that out!
At the end of the day, we've all got areas of expertise that others tap from time to time. I don't usually mind sharing whatever skills I have (for me it's jewelry repairs pretty often). But, when it becomes a chore every single time, I personally think it's a little too much. Luckily for all the technologically incompetent around me, my husband is more patient than I am.
Same here.
Maybe 8-9 years ago there was an article on a news site about how people hated going home for the holidays because they spent so much time fixing their relatives printers, computers, TV's, etc. Having been subjected to this, I agree.
To me, It isn't the fact that they are having you do this, on some level, it can be flattering. But, it takes away from your quality family time, which dwindles more and more every year. Also, people do tend to get frustrated over it, to someone's point earlier about people being a fixer and now feel out of touch and maybe a little bit helpless.
LOL...my comments went right over your head, and you showed who you are.
If you had any class or manners you would have apologized to the posters who said they had brain injuries and were offended by your comments.
You weren't told or invited to the wedding because they didn't want you there. And from the comments you made on here and how put out you got over such trivial stuff and your know it all attitude, well can't you figure out why he dropped you?
Well it's clear he didn't want me at the wedding, but I am not sure what that has to do with this thread. That guy installs AV stuff for a living. Even if he hates my guts, brain damaged AV complainers would be the one thing we could still bond over. I never claimed to have any class. If I did, why would I be on City Data?
Heck, I know 3 people who don't even use computers...have never owned one, never used one. 2 of them are in their 50's, and one in his 40's. All very bright people. 2 of them don't even watch TV (as I don't). None of them has a smart phone; one does not even have a cell (landline only). This stuff isn't for everybody. Another thread had a poster asking "what would happen" if they deleted their FB or LinkedIn account. I laughed out loud! What do they expect would happen...? Life would continue.
There are people out there who live, work, have families, and are productive human beings without tech. 20 years ago, that's how we all lived. This stuff is so new in the scheme of things, that it just isn't seen as a big deal to a large % of the population. And they are not all geezers. Tech is in the news and in the ads all the time now, and lots of people assume that "everyone" is into it. Not so.
I'd rather look at real life with my own eyes, than stare at virtual reality on a screen of some sort.
I can be patient with someone who is trying to learn and doesn't get it right away.
I don't have patience for people like my sister, who 10, 12, years ago made a big stink about how she didn't want to "learn the computer" and that using a computer on a job would bore her to death so she was glad she was in a job where she would never have to use one, her being a dental assistant.
I said, as gently as I could, that if she doesn't get familiar with it, she's eventually going to have a tough time finding a job because there will come a day when everything from setting appointments to keeping medical and dental records will be done electronically. She didn't believe me and sure enough, she started running into major problems with it about 7 years ago and has had a hard time ever since. She grudgingly learned the relevant programs, but couldn't put her own resume together in Word. I had to do it for her.
I am no longer sympathetic to anyone under the age of 70 who can't figure out what remote to use, or how to pay a bill online, or why their iPhone isn't working (battery is dead). Before she had a stroke, my 90 year old grandma was a whiz with the internet , even in the 90s with a weird local dial up ISP.
Being home for the holidays I've just gotten tired of mom, dad, uncles and aunts, and even my 30 year old sister not being able to change the input on the TV, panicking when the Comcast menu loads too slowly, not being able to figure out how to download apps on their phones, etc.
The thing that bugs me about it the most is that their tone of voice is implying that *I* am the one who is to blame when they can't figure this out. My brother left his Roku hooked up to the TV in the living room. Mom and sis couldn't figure out what was going on because the HDMI input was on "2" instead of "1", so they just missed their programs (even though they are available on-demand) and complained to me about it when I got home. Why didn't they just try changing the input? Why didn't they call me? Or my brother? My 90 year old grandma mentioned above, maybe doesn't understand what's going on, but has no problem fussing with the buttons on her remote until the TV does what she wants.
Most of this tech has been around for 15 years now and keeps getting easier to use. There is little excuse for being so hopeless, short of actual brain damage.
I realize that this is a minor problem in the grand scheme of things but as I get older I just find myself losing patience about stuff like this.
Anyone else get sick of feigned techno-illiteracy?
I'm not dependent on apps and TV remotes so I don't know how to navigate them much. It's not a life skill that I feel is vital to my success and over all social functioning. In my grand scheme of things, they are not all that important to me unless they are furthering my goals. If that annoys people, that's their deal. It works just fine for me. I'm not looking to score points with the 'geniuses' out there.
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