Over 30? What advice would you give to your 20-something self? (wealthy, attractive)
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I think there are a few threads on various c-d forums that appear to be related to a bit of envy of someone else's life. Thinking back to my 20-something years, there were all sorts of things I wanted in life, that I thought need to wait for some certain thing. Sort of like my life would start when I made X money, or had X experience or X relationship or X appearance. At some point in my 30s, I decided to start working on those life goals without everything being "perfect" or in place.
I had a few visions for my life. My "hip urban life," where my social activities revolved around going to art galleries, museums and happy hours. I lived in a loft above a cool commercial district. In my head I wore "polished" city sleek outfits with black and grey and whatever other neutrals and simple shapes were in.
Still working on the loft part. But eventually I decided to look into the whole art gallery scene. I found out that all the galleries in my city had an opening night once a month open to the public. I got on some mailing lists. I started dragging my friends. I found out they weren't as cool as I thought they would be, but an art gallery opening is one of my favorite early dates. I also decided instead of waiting until I got a job in the "city" to dress cool for, I'd just wear those clothes anyway. My vision for the hip urban clothes changed as I got older, but I ended up setting up my own sense of style that works for me.
I also wanted to be an "influencer" in my community and be on a nonprofit board. Little did I know that not all boards need the same thing. There is a place for you, even if you aren't super wealthy. Look into the causes you care about.
So this is my advice to my 20-something self:
1. Make it happen - whatever is in your life vision, try and do it. You don't need to finish off the rest of the list first. Even if you don't have enough money, aren't attractive enough, aren't successful enough or whatever it is that is blocking you from that vision.
2. If it is important to get married young, you'll never meet as many eligible singles as you did in college, so take advantage
4. Cultivate your best self and appreciate your "flaws."
5. Don't waste your time with people who bring negative energy into your life.
6. Don't believe in a "perfect life." Whoever you think has it, actually doesn't. Live your life, and review tip number 1.
1.Simple... invest or save now!
And don't touch it!
2. Try staying at the same job for 20 yrs ...retire...(state or gov jobs seem
to be the best).
And do not appreciate your flaws...sorry, not in my belief system and
so far so good.
I disagree with #2. I'd be making maybe half as much money if I stuck around the same job. I wish I looked around sooner rather than sticking one out for 4-5 years. It actually screwed up my professional progression!
For me "flaws" shouldn't interfere with your life. You can work to improve, but you do not need to denigrate yourself along the way.
I would have told myself to screw everyone else and follow the work path I loved, rather than the one everyone wanted me to follow. I was miserable for 20 years!!!
And not to get involved with those jerks who don't handle money as well as you do, because then you can't follow the invest or save rule. You can't change people whose core values are not the same as yours. If it bothers you then, it will bother you worse as time goes on.
But I was pretty stubborn and probably wouldn't have listened.
I know my 20-something self wouldn't have listened to me. Other than that, despite a few bad events, there isn't much I could do to warn my past self.
Same here, my stubborn younger self would have ignored most any advice from anyone else, including the older ME.
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