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Old 05-06-2015, 12:39 PM
 
4 posts, read 3,873 times
Reputation: 15

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My great friend is a lesbian and I have known that since the day we met. By the way I am a guy and I have never shown any intention of wanting to be with her romantically. We workout at the same time which is basically 4 days a week. This has been going on for 4 months. We have a lot in common except she is gay. Two weeks ago she told me how she valued my friendship and the discussions we have. I told her that I did as well and that it's great to share with her. I respect her tremendously.

She is in a long distance relationship and whether or not I am attracted to her or not I would not go down that road. I value her as a friend way too much. Plus I never thought she would be attractied to me. I thought she was only attracted to woman and that is the basis of my thought process. Well, ever since that little talk she skipped the gym for a week and now she is back and is distant. I have given her her space at the gym and have not talked to her for more than a few sentences and polite smiles. It is so awkward and I don't know what to do. Normally we lift and run together and now it's just awkward. I don't know what I missed or did but I miss my friend.

I will talk to her about it eventually but right now she is definately keeping me at arms length. To be honest I am a little mad because we are such good friends and this is kind of bull****. I want to treat her like any of my guy friends and say what's you problem, but she isn't one of them, she is different. I am trying not to over-think this thing but I might be.

Missing my friend and confused.
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Old 05-06-2015, 12:44 PM
 
Location: Huntsville, AL
2,852 posts, read 1,618,081 times
Reputation: 5446
Just start your conversation with, 'I've missed you and hope we can get back to what we once had'... that's brutally honest, and she'll have the chance to let it out...
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Old 05-06-2015, 12:49 PM
 
Location: Howard County, Maryland
16,572 posts, read 10,672,468 times
Reputation: 36602
It's possible that your mutual admission led her to the startling realization that she might be attracted to you, which I imagine would be as unsettling for her as it would be if you suddenly felt that way about one of your guy friends. Or, it might have nothing to do with you at all. Best way to find out is to do what Tumf suggested.

Incidentally, I don't think your issue is that your great friend is a lesbian, as your thread title might suggest. Rather, I think your issue is that your great friend has suddenly become distant, and you don't know why. Good luck to you.
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Old 05-06-2015, 12:51 PM
 
Location: Texas
44,259 posts, read 64,433,178 times
Reputation: 73937
Treat her like your guy friend and ask her whassup.
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Old 05-06-2015, 12:56 PM
 
Location: Land of Confusion
51 posts, read 74,105 times
Reputation: 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by bus man View Post
It's possible that your mutual admission led her to the startling realization that she might be attracted to you, which I imagine would be as unsettling for her as it would be if you suddenly felt that way about one of your guy friends. Or, it might have nothing to do with you at all. Best way to find out is to do what Tumf suggested.

Incidentally, I don't think your issue is that your great friend is a lesbian, as your thread title might suggest. Rather, I think your issue is that your great friend has suddenly become distant, and you don't know why. Good luck to you.
I was thinking exactly what you just said - all of it. So, ditto.
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Old 05-06-2015, 01:00 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
11,495 posts, read 26,905,520 times
Reputation: 28036
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
Treat her like your guy friend and ask her whassup.
Just what I was thinking.
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Old 05-06-2015, 02:05 PM
 
4 posts, read 3,873 times
Reputation: 15
Definately,The issue is not that she is a lesbian. It is just part of the dynamic. Ya, I was thinking along Tumf suggestion. I was just going to give it til next week until I talk to her. I thought I might reach out for some insight that I might be missing before I open my mouth.
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Old 05-06-2015, 02:18 PM
 
708 posts, read 722,672 times
Reputation: 1172
I think after your talk couple weeks ago, she started getting some romantic feelings for you and she does not know how to handle them. So best way she can think of to handle it is to keep some distance between you and her. Maybe I am wrong but I would be interest if others thought the same or that I am way off base.
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Old 05-06-2015, 02:51 PM
 
22,488 posts, read 12,039,050 times
Reputation: 20413
Quote:
Originally Posted by Willistonite View Post
I think after your talk couple weeks ago, she started getting some romantic feelings for you and she does not know how to handle them. So best way she can think of to handle it is to keep some distance between you and her. Maybe I am wrong but I would be interest if others thought the same or that I am way off base.
I, too, wondered about this^ She could well be bisexual.
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Old 05-06-2015, 03:38 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,770 posts, read 20,007,648 times
Reputation: 43186
I don't get it. Is she a lesbian or not?

Ask her what is going on and that you are confused and miss her as a friend.
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