Would you kick an unemployed relative out of your house? (wife, member)

[Pitt Chick]

Meh... a freeloading, long-time-jobless relative, who has been taking advantage of numerous relatives to boot!, would not make it through my door without ground rules up front.

[SXMGirl]

If she was my relative, I would let her know that it is time for her to start earning her keep. She can either get a job and pay rent or she can do all of the house cleaning, laundry, cooking, walking the dog, etc. I would also have a list that included the local homeless shelters or training centers, a list of any job openings that I could find, and a list of support groups and/or rehab centers.

While it may take a week or two to get settled in a job, she can start on the chores and other household duties immediately since she has been living there rent-free for too long. If she refuses, then I would give her the courtesy of a 30 day notice. Then, it is time for her to go to another relative or be homeless. Make sure that she understands that everyone has to contribute, nothing is free, and her situation is her fault--not yours.

Keep in mind that she may not be able to hold down a job. A live-in housekeeper could be a good option for her. If she is good with kids, maybe a nanny position for someone else. I just find it difficult to put someone out without a place to go unless they are completely disruptive to the household.

[bizcuit]

How did your parents get her out? Can't you take the same approach?

[cyn7cyn]

Originally Posted by blisterpeanuts

Does she have cognitive issues? mental health issues? It's possible that she's not capable of taking care of herself. I'm not saying you are supposed to support her, but probably before you kick her out, you should figure out if she's going to end up homeless on the streets, maybe a prostitute, or something worse.

Maybe you could set her up in a cheap motel, pay for the first month or so, and tell her she's on her own after that. If she can't do something for herself, she may end up being on some kind of public assistance for the rest of her life.

That's definitely insurance that she will become a prostitute. I've always had the rule that if you don't have a permanent address you will not stay at my home as a temporary one. If you have exhausted all options within family then there isn't much I can do for you.

[Blondebaerde]

Waits out what "recession?" That was officially over years ago, per economic data.

Of course, we're not stupid: the nature of work has changed a lot in the last five-six years. Employers are much tougher and pickier. Some of us have prospered big-time (for which I am genuinely grateful) while many others have had to re-think their skill set and approach. Most every financial or economic website of repute will acknowledge what is going on.

That-said, there is opportunity. There always is, as the economy transforms from Industrial to Information Age. Change is always painful. Being a "won't" in the face of such a situation is not the healthy reaction to challenge.

The relative in question is a vagrant/bum. The kind who sponges off others via some cockamamie story. The story rotates at-convenience. They can play that game for years. Confronting them is always interesting.

I'm not the right guy to ask about "compassion" for vagrants and bums, being more the tough-love type with (myself, and friends), so yes I'd explore with an attorney or similar to have her ejected.

Thank God for spouses, be they wives or husbands, who wise up waaaaaay before blood relatives. Usually. The best way to rid yourself of pests is by ...ridding yoursel(ves) of drama.

[makes no sense at all]

i wouldn't kick out my brother or sisters for being a bum. they're family and my house is huge.

having to work round the clock year in and year out is a relatively recent development in human history

[Baconisgood]

This is easy, just place an ad on Craigslist, "room for rent" and tell your sister to get ready for a room-mate or three. Like others have said, there is no waiting out the recession, it's over and everyone else has moved on.

I would also set new rules that if she lives in your home, she will get up and leave every morning and go out in person looking for work. Any job is better than being a grown up and living with your relatives for months and months.

[Caleb Longstreet]

Originally Posted by Laid Off

One of my sisters is an long term unemployed and she has been moving from one relative to anther while she waits out the recession. After Mom and Dad kicked her out of their home for freeloading and not seriously looking for work, she showed up unannounced at our door step looking for a temporary place to live. What could we do but let her come inside and live with us for awhile.

"Awhile" has been a few months and my wife wants my sister gone. But where can we send her? She has already overstayed her welcome at my parents home and my other family members don't want her.

Anyway, how could we actually evict her legally? Can we hire someone to physically move her out and get a court order for her to never return to our home? My wife says maybe we can put her up in an extended stay hotel for a month but after a month she will show up at our door step again. Any advice?

Change the locks and kick her the f out. Do it old school. Some yelling, finger pointing and f'in toss her. If she is capable of working, this will give her the motivation to do so.

Hunger and no roof over your head is a very powerful motivator to one who can walk or drive around.

Prove it.

[ackmondual]

You still need a 30-day notice on someone who's staying at your place without a lease?

[makes no sense at all]

probably depends on the state and maybe even the city. i know in the bay area if someone lives in your house for a certain amount of time (a year, maybe?) , you can't just kick them out, regardless of whether they are on a lease or paying for rent.