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A friend recently initiated plans for a short vacation. I agreed to gather the details of the trip (I get travel discounts through my work, so it made sense for me to do this).
When I reached out to my friend to discuss/finalize the details (literally the next day), she was busy. No worries- I let her know we could chat another time. No word from her after another few days. I sent her a text to see if we could chat since some of the info was time sensitive. No response. I found it odd..what could have changed in 24 hours?
Two weeks went by and NO word from my friend. I called (pretty much assuming the trip was off, but at least wanted to hear from her because of the principle of the matter). She told me she could no longer go, work got busy, and she had no time. Although she could have handled it much differently I decided to leave it at that.
Fast forward 2 weeks (the week our trip should have been), and I start seeing her tagged in photos online...ON VACATION...with other people. WHAT THE HELL?
I didn't confront my friend because i believe actions like this speak loudly. I decided really not to even reach out anymore.
A week later, she called me, and I of course asked her about this. She told me that the trip happened super last minute. A friend of hers got a great deal, and invited her to join. She has since asked to hang out and I'm really just hesitant, and am having a hard time "feeling it". I will say that although this has been the "biggest" incident of this nature, other things on smaller scales have happened with her, but I really try not to dwell on things...no one is perfect.
Has anything similar ever happened to you that you "got over" and you remained friends? Am I overreacting and need to get over it?
A friend recently initiated plans for a short vacation. I agreed to gather the details of the trip (I get travel discounts through my work, so it made sense for me to do this).
When I reached out to my friend to discuss/finalize the details (literally the next day), she was busy. No worries- I let her know we could chat another time. No word from her after another few days. I sent her a text to see if we could chat since some of the info was time sensitive. No response. I found it odd..what could have changed in 24 hours?
Two weeks went by and NO word from my friend. I called (pretty much assuming the trip was off, but at least wanted to hear from her because of the principle of the matter). She told me she could no longer go, work got busy, and she had no time. Although she could have handled it much differently I decided to leave it at that.
Fast forward 2 weeks (the week our trip should have been), and I start seeing her tagged in photos online...ON VACATION...with other people. WHAT THE HELL?
I didn't confront my friend because i believe actions like this speak loudly. I decided really not to even reach out anymore.
A week later, she called me, and I of course asked her about this. She told me that the trip happened super last minute. A friend of hers got a great deal, and invited her to join. She has since asked to hang out and I'm really just hesitant, and am having a hard time "feeling it". I will say that although this has been the "biggest" incident of this nature, other things on smaller scales have happened with her, but I really try not to dwell on things...no one is perfect.
Has anything similar ever happened to you that you "got over" and you remained friends? Am I overreacting and need to get over it?
Not hearing from her while you are making plans with her would already be a huge deal to me. What if you would have spent money already, non refundable?
I may forgive her for that.
But all the other stuff you mentioned and this together adds up to too much to handle.
I don't believe in ghosting so I would tell her what's up and quit the friendship.
I would've just responded to one of the pictures with "you are trash" and never said anything to her again. If mutual friends asked I would tell them the story. That's it.
She could have easily told you at any time that she couldn't go on your trip and didn't. She knew you were looking around for details- and ignored repeated attempts at contact? I've known people that do stuff like this and it's best to cut them out of your circle 100% of the time.
I don't have that much info, but was she just asking people who could have discounts through work, and the best vacation idea that she could afford won? (The next day after you first talked about the vacation, she talked to someone else with a better deal and forgot she talked to you in the first place...?)
A friend recently initiated plans for a short vacation. I agreed to gather the details of the trip (I get travel discounts through my work, so it made sense for me to do this).
When I reached out to my friend to discuss/finalize the details (literally the next day), she was busy. No worries- I let her know we could chat another time. No word from her after another few days. I sent her a text to see if we could chat since some of the info was time sensitive. No response. I found it odd..what could have changed in 24 hours?
Two weeks went by and NO word from my friend. I called (pretty much assuming the trip was off, but at least wanted to hear from her because of the principle of the matter). She told me she could no longer go, work got busy, and she had no time. Although she could have handled it much differently I decided to leave it at that.
Fast forward 2 weeks (the week our trip should have been), and I start seeing her tagged in photos online...ON VACATION...with other people. WHAT THE HELL?
I didn't confront my friend because i believe actions like this speak loudly. I decided really not to even reach out anymore.
A week later, she called me, and I of course asked her about this. She told me that the trip happened super last minute. A friend of hers got a great deal, and invited her to join. She has since asked to hang out and I'm really just hesitant, and am having a hard time "feeling it". I will say that although this has been the "biggest" incident of this nature, other things on smaller scales have happened with her, but I really try not to dwell on things...no one is perfect.
Has anything similar ever happened to you that you "got over" and you remained friends? Am I overreacting and need to get over it?
She got a "better offer" and went with someone else. She isn't a good friend. Why would you want to be with this person ever again?
This person has been incredibly rude and shabby in her conduct toward you. In the age of the cell phone is there an excuse for not contacting a person and keeping them up to date on proposed plans?
In your place the next time she suggests getting together I would just say very briefly and very quietly that you feel that she treated you shabbily, and you aren't comfortable having her as more than an acquaintance now. Period, no drama. And goodbye.
This incident and smaller ones, do you even want to be friends with her? and if yes, why?
This. It sounds like there's a pattern of behavior on her part that isn't really working for you. Feel free to move her to a back burner, while moving others to a front burner, or finding new friends. Honestly, it doesn't sound like there's much reciprocity here. At some point, it may get to be no longer worth the aggravation.
A friend recently initiated plans for a short vacation. I agreed to gather the details of the trip (I get travel discounts through my work, so it made sense for me to do this).
When I reached out to my friend to discuss/finalize the details (literally the next day), she was busy. No worries- I let her know we could chat another time. No word from her after another few days. I sent her a text to see if we could chat since some of the info was time sensitive. No response. I found it odd..what could have changed in 24 hours?
Two weeks went by and NO word from my friend. I called (pretty much assuming the trip was off, but at least wanted to hear from her because of the principle of the matter). She told me she could no longer go, work got busy, and she had no time. Although she could have handled it much differently I decided to leave it at that.
Fast forward 2 weeks (the week our trip should have been), and I start seeing her tagged in photos online...ON VACATION...with other people. WHAT THE HELL?
I didn't confront my friend because i believe actions like this speak loudly. I decided really not to even reach out anymore.
A week later, she called me, and I of course asked her about this. She told me that the trip happened super last minute. A friend of hers got a great deal, and invited her to join. She has since asked to hang out and I'm really just hesitant, and am having a hard time "feeling it". I will say that although this has been the "biggest" incident of this nature, other things on smaller scales have happened with her, but I really try not to dwell on things...no one is perfect.
Has anything similar ever happened to you that you "got over" and you remained friends? Am I overreacting and need to get over it?
Absolutely not.
You weren't even worth 1 minute of her precious time to let you know via text she is no longer interested in going on a trip with you.
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