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But the thing is these people don't know. One time, and sure, that's too bad, look forward to meeting you the next time. Second time, it starts to seem flakey, and there is no shared history to work from. Once you are actively involved with a group and have met people in person, my guess is the reaction would have been different and much more sympathetic. But some people join lots of groups and sign up for lots of activities and no way of knowing if the excuses were legitimate or just that the OP got a better offer.
The organizer could have posted here saying that she had someone who wanted to be in her group and kept signing up for activities but then canceling with excuses like "my dog died." And I bet a bunch of people would have said, hmm, sounds sketchy, you did the right thing kicking her out. It's all about the perspective.
Yes, I pretty much said what you say above in an earlier post, only with fewer words.
But the post you are responding to took issue with the term "blowing off" being applicable to ANY cancellation. I don't think that term applies to someone cancelling because of a serious issue, but rather a decision to just not go somewhere because you don't feel like it.
Yes I would like to find a group of rational, and caring women that UNDERSTAND how horrible it is to have to put your senior dog to sleep or visit your mom in the hospital when she is having emergency bypass surgery.
We all understand that.
Truly.
No one is saying that those are not important things, or that you should be at a meetup instead of being where you were.
But the bottom line is that you DID end up being a no-show, not once, but on numerous occasions.
And if that is in violation of this particular group's rules, then this is not the right group for you.
Instead of railing against the group, you should forget about them and find one that better suits you.
We all understand that.
Truly.
No one is saying that those are not important things, or that you should be at a meetup instead of being where you were.
But the bottom line is that you DID end up being a no-show, not once, but on numerous occasions.
And if that is in violation of this particular group's rules, then this is not the right group for you.
Instead of railing against the group, you should forget about them and find one that better suits you.
Did you read any of my posts? A no show is someone that doesn't show up or change their status from a yes to a no but remains a yes. Not only did I change my status but I also contacted the organizer personally 1-2 days in advance of meeting at a BAR. Gimme a flipping break. Some people here have really screwy priorities.
Yes the perspective is that the organizer and many people here are heartless, and selfish people. I'm willing to bet many of the people on this page have no social life for those reasons - and then they come here to project their misery on strangers.
But the organizer DOES NOT KNOW YOU, and has no idea if you're legit or just another meetup socially-awkward flake. I'm convinced meetup people are more likely to be the latter and not the former so it's a predictable assumption. Sorry to call a spade a spade but there it is. AT the very least you need to allow for that possibility, particularly within the meetup framework of artificially constructed social/friend groups.
But the bottom line is that you DID say you would attend but did not... not once, but on numerous occasions.
I fail to see how that is better, though... as the end result is the same.
But the bottom line is that you DID say you would attend but did not... not once, but on numerous occasions.
I fail to see how that is better, though... as the end result is the same.
But the organizer DOES NOT KNOW YOU, and has no idea if you're legit or just another meetup socially-awkward flake. I'm convinced meetup people are more likely to be the latter and not the former so it's a predictable assumption. Sorry to call a spade a spade but there it is. AT the very least you need to allow for that possibility, particularly within the meetup framework of artificially constructed social/friend groups.
This woman looks a bit eccentric but I usually dont judge based on looks. A few people told me she was probably just threatened by me. I'm just baffled.
Anyone else had a bad experience with Meetup?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serena34
Some people here have really screwy priorities.
You come on a public forum/discussion group and sound rather shocked some people are not rallying for you.
You knock people that disagree with you and praise and thank people that agree with you.
By posting you have to be ready for someone to disagree with you. I learned that quickly.
Not everyone is going to agree with you.
I am starting to feel we don't have the whole story.
And... it doesn't really matter. Find another group, create your own.
And no---I don't think the woman felt threatened by you. She just doesn't go for the canceling/ bailing out--it is her meet-up and she can do what she wants. You can't change people, you can only change your reaction to them.
Hope you find another group you can be happy with.
But the bottom line is that you DID say you would attend but did not... not once, but on numerous occasions.
I fail to see how that is better, though... as the end result is the same.
You skipped a step there. She said she would attend, THEN LET THEM KNOW IN ADVANCE THAT SHE COULDN'T and then did not attend.
I just think they didn't believe her.
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