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I think you suck it up and meet the man as you promised. You are a man of your word, right?
Bailing last minute is soooo wrong.
I agree the OP should see him or could/should have cancelled long ago. I can certainly see refusing to drive him to or from the airport. The OP may not be comfortable in that kind of traffic .
Oh.
So he screwed you over and now you can screw him over?
Nope.
You said you would meet with him, and he is taking the time and expense of doing just that.
The least you can do is to follow through with what you said you would do.
I agree with this. I think a decent thing to do is follow through with what you said you would do. If the visit does not go well then you have the option to not see him again. One thing I will point out is that you only get one set of parents, and no matter what they have done you may have regrets by leaving the relationship in an estranged condition. There is ALWAYS a limited amount of time to make things like this right, you never know when something will happen that forever ends the possibility of reconciliation.
I agree with this. I think a decent thing to do is follow through with what you said you would do. If the visit does not go well then you have the option to not see him again. One thing I will point out is that you only get one set of parents, and no matter what they have done you may have regrets by leaving the relationship in an estranged condition. There is ALWAYS a limited amount of time to make things like this right, you never know when something will happen that forever ends the possibility of reconciliation.
Bull.
There are some things that cannot be excused away. The "but he/she is your dad/mom" card is played out.
Whatever the OP's situation, they have every right to feel the way that they feel.
Been on the fence I saw my dad last year for the first time in 15 year's. All was great. However, since then talked maybe a month or two on the phone once or twice a month...then. nothing since last April. Agreed to see each other again he comes to see me and I agree to go see him, lives in Cali. Really have no intent to head out to Cali to visit him. It's awkward enough him coming to see me. Two week's ago spring's on me to pick him up at the airport. I never driven or drove down to the city before or JFK airport. Anyways after mulling it over told him a week and half ago can't drive down. He figured he rent a car great. Tonight get a message taking shuttle up, but can you drive me down to the airport.
Now I don't want to see him. I already was regretting seeing him. I am just afraid of never having a relationship with my dad. Not sure if it is a good or bad thing.
I don't know how to spring it on him with only three day's till he flies in. Not sure what to do.
I will ask him again if he can use some type of transportation. This is normal.behavior.of.my dad. I am on the fence do I want a relationship with him. I know he'll probably wring my arm till he gets me to.drive him down, but I don't want to.budge on that. That's why I wanted to play the hand of don't bother coming out.
I agree with this. I think a decent thing to do is follow through with what you said you would do. If the visit does not go well then you have the option to not see him again. One thing I will point out is that you only get one set of parents, and no matter what they have done you may have regrets by leaving the relationship in an estranged condition. There is ALWAYS a limited amount of time to make things like this right, you never know when something will happen that forever ends the possibility of reconciliation.
My grandparents abused my dad when he was a kid. He only had one set of parents and as soon as he could he left home and ended up joining the Navy to get as far away from them as possible. As a kid I never knew what he had went thru or why we hardly ever visited them. I had been to my grandparents home twice when I was a kid and even though we had traveled to get there we did not spend the night. Back then I just figured that was because they lived half way across the country. After he retired he wrote a book about his life. His way of forgiving his parents for what they did to him when he was a kid I guess. Today someone would have been called in and a child would be taken from the home. Not so back in the 50's when he was a kid. People did not talk about abuse back then like they do now. Funny because people in my dad's family talk now. They remember what happened and some have spoken up about it. Others did not want to remember and were upset that my dad could have written about it. I don't know most of these people but they have written reviews online about my dad and his book. Kind of started a firestorm in my dads family.
I do not think it is the adult child's duty to make any of this right. It is the parent's duty. A child when they were a child, did not have control of the situation. I don't know what the OP's situation is other than the OP did not have contact with the dad for many years. That is not the OP's fault though. Parents make these messes and need to work toward resolving them.
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