Moving soon- my soon-to-be neighbors (wife, father, husband, member)
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I am moving in a couple weeks- as soon as escrow closes. The people I am purchasing the house from were having a garage sale this weekend so I decided to stop by and talk to them about the neighborhood and see if there was anything they wanted to leave behind that they were getting rid of (they actually told me I could have the riding lawn mower, Yippee!). We got to talking about the neighborhood- specifically the family that lives across the street. When I arrived there were two kids playing in that front lawn- looked to be a girl in her early teens and a boy of around ten. Other kids were playing in the yard a couple doors down and those kids were pretty much ignoring the kids across the street.
I waved at the kids across the street, they did not wave back. They just stood there staring at me for a couple minutes then went back to tossing the football around. At that point the guy I'm buying the house from said "That family is pretty weird. The husband really creeps us out." So, I asked... Here's what I was told. The kids are not allowed to leave the lawn and are not allowed to play with other children on the street. Every morning the father drives his kids a block down the street to the bus stop and makes them wait in the car until the bus arrives. The wife picks them up from the bus stop each afternoon (he calls them "the ditch kids" because they are always playing in the drainage ditch in front of the house).
He said that the wife is very talkative and very friendly- but only when the husband is not at home. If he is home and and she is in the yard and you try talk to her, she will walk away and ignore you. In fact, he said, that when the husband is home the wife rarely leaves the house. My first thought was- and I asked him- "Are they Jehovah's Witnesses or some weird religion?" Nope, he said, they are Catholic and go to the same church as him and his wife but they only go to church on Holy days. He said they rarely leave the house- he could not recall them ever being gone for more than an afternoon.
So, I asked him about the husband. "Friendly enough- last year I had a tree fall down in a storm and he came over and helped me cut it up without even asking if I needed help. But he just gives me the creeps. He laughs at the most inappropriate things and always is smiling, and always has advice about everything. He once told me I was mowing my yard wrong and proceeded to give me a lecture on how to do it right." He had no idea what the husband did for a living. The wife was definitely a stay-at-home mom.
What he said next, however, is what really got me wondering. "Every so often I hear a lot of screaming coming from their house- always him yelling and one or both of the kids yelling too." My first thought was abusive husband and father and he said, "Yeah, that's what me and my wife think too." I asked if the cops had ever been there and he said "One time I almost called the cops but the wife told me to keep my nose out of it."
So that's what I'm going to be dealing with- advice on dealing with this guy?
Advice on what? You haven't seen any of this first hand yet. If you hear screaming, call the police, or something. Otherwise, why would you have to "deal with him" at all?
Nothing right now. In the future Call the cops if you move in and hear screaming and suspect abuse.
As far as the other stuff...I will say that you are a stranger to these kids and many people don't let their kids smile or wave at strangers. Lots of people don't let their kids leave the yard. Some people are over protective. My neighbors don't wave at my kids and vice versa, unless we really know them. Also, you don't know if the kids have been bullied in the past. All that driving to the bus stop and not playing with kids could be from that.
I will tell you this, I once had a neighbor freak out because my car didn't move for a week. (She thought I had died or been sick) I had been doing regular car pool, errands, and volunteer work. She just didn't see it move and I guess I park in the same spot. People see what they see and sometimes it's wrong.
So your new neighbors are socially awkward....lots of people are. Perhaps they are overprotective of their children. Again--lots of people are.
As for the yelling, for all the neighbor knows they were highly involved with a raucous video game or watching sports. If someone heard my husband while his favorite football team was playing, they might think we were fighting.
The point is that there may or may not be anything odd or criminal going on at the house. It's not wise to move in believing all that the current owner is saying. Don't go in with preconceived notions or you may miss an opportunity to make a great friend.
Instead of taking someone else's word for it (someone you really don't know well), how about allowing time to develop your own thoughts and feelings about your neighbors?
I think your opinion of them has already been colored, and they don't stand a chance. You already think there's something wrong with them. That's unfortunate.
What everyone else says. Wait until you meet them. Our old neighborhood there was a couple that was odd, however they were always included and invited to block parties, happy hours etc. If a stranger heard half the stories of what these people did they would be nervous about them. Don't take what the sellers are saying as the complete story.
I think that if you hear screaming and such , yes call the police and to be damned what the father thinks and if he starts in on you act like you are crazy and unhinged , I'm serious . People usually leave you alone if they think you are crazy . I remember one particular neighborhood I lived in I told one of the neighbors I was not wrapped too tight to begin with and that got around and no one and I mean no one bothered me ever while I was out in the yard or otherwise . When I sold the house I can imagine what people said about me LOL.. But just do yourself a favor and leave them alone and of course when you hear screaming call the police .
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