Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Try to keep an open mind. But if you hear things that sound like domestic abuse, call the cops. Really bad things happen sometimes in homes where a controlling, abusive husband and dad knocks his wife and kids around. Really bad things. Like kids taking firearms and shooting said abusive dad. Or wives being abused to the point of needing hospital care.
You'll know if the screaming sounds like one sided abuse. I do think the guy you talked to should have called the cops. But, remember that the house across the street has neighbors on either side too. So, if abuse is happening, others probably know about it too. If I understand, the cops will not divulge who called them. I also understand why people are reluctant to get involved. And, unfortunately, the neighbor could decide it was the newcomer who called, even though he wasn't told.
I think you are in an uncomfortable spot, frankly. I want to wish you luck.
I am moving in a couple weeks- as soon as escrow closes. The people I am purchasing the house from were having a garage sale this weekend so I decided to stop by and talk to them about the neighborhood and see if there was anything they wanted to leave behind that they were getting rid of (they actually told me I could have the riding lawn mower, Yippee!). We got to talking about the neighborhood- specifically the family that lives across the street. When I arrived there were two kids playing in that front lawn- looked to be a girl in her early teens and a boy of around ten. Other kids were playing in the yard a couple doors down and those kids were pretty much ignoring the kids across the street.
I waved at the kids across the street, they did not wave back. They just stood there staring at me for a couple minutes then went back to tossing the football around. At that point the guy I'm buying the house from said "That family is pretty weird. The husband really creeps us out." So, I asked... Here's what I was told. The kids are not allowed to leave the lawn and are not allowed to play with other children on the street. Every morning the father drives his kids a block down the street to the bus stop and makes them wait in the car until the bus arrives. The wife picks them up from the bus stop each afternoon (he calls them "the ditch kids" because they are always playing in the drainage ditch in front of the house).
He said that the wife is very talkative and very friendly- but only when the husband is not at home. If he is home and and she is in the yard and you try talk to her, she will walk away and ignore you. In fact, he said, that when the husband is home the wife rarely leaves the house. My first thought was- and I asked him- "Are they Jehovah's Witnesses or some weird religion?" Nope, he said, they are Catholic and go to the same church as him and his wife but they only go to church on Holy days. He said they rarely leave the house- he could not recall them ever being gone for more than an afternoon.
So, I asked him about the husband. "Friendly enough- last year I had a tree fall down in a storm and he came over and helped me cut it up without even asking if I needed help. But he just gives me the creeps. He laughs at the most inappropriate things and always is smiling, and always has advice about everything. He once told me I was mowing my yard wrong and proceeded to give me a lecture on how to do it right." He had no idea what the husband did for a living. The wife was definitely a stay-at-home mom.
What he said next, however, is what really got me wondering. "Every so often I hear a lot of screaming coming from their house- always him yelling and one or both of the kids yelling too." My first thought was abusive husband and father and he said, "Yeah, that's what me and my wife think too." I asked if the cops had ever been there and he said "One time I almost called the cops but the wife told me to keep my nose out of it."
So that's what I'm going to be dealing with- advice on dealing with this guy?
Mind your own and keep your pre conceived out of the picture.
You are already creating drama where there should be none.
Do you ever wonder what your neighbors would say about you to a perspective buyer/renter?
I wonder how much of that gossip would actually be true...
I am moving in a couple weeks- as soon as escrow closes. The people I am purchasing the house from were having a garage sale this weekend so I decided to stop by and talk to them about the neighborhood and see if there was anything they wanted to leave behind that they were getting rid of (they actually told me I could have the riding lawn mower, Yippee!). We got to talking about the neighborhood- specifically the family that lives across the street. When I arrived there were two kids playing in that front lawn- looked to be a girl in her early teens and a boy of around ten. Other kids were playing in the yard a couple doors down and those kids were pretty much ignoring the kids across the street.
I waved at the kids across the street, they did not wave back. They just stood there staring at me for a couple minutes then went back to tossing the football around. At that point the guy I'm buying the house from said "That family is pretty weird. The husband really creeps us out." So, I asked... Here's what I was told. The kids are not allowed to leave the lawn and are not allowed to play with other children on the street. Every morning the father drives his kids a block down the street to the bus stop and makes them wait in the car until the bus arrives. The wife picks them up from the bus stop each afternoon (he calls them "the ditch kids" because they are always playing in the drainage ditch in front of the house).
He said that the wife is very talkative and very friendly- but only when the husband is not at home. If he is home and and she is in the yard and you try talk to her, she will walk away and ignore you. In fact, he said, that when the husband is home the wife rarely leaves the house. My first thought was- and I asked him- "Are they Jehovah's Witnesses or some weird religion?" Nope, he said, they are Catholic and go to the same church as him and his wife but they only go to church on Holy days. He said they rarely leave the house- he could not recall them ever being gone for more than an afternoon.
So, I asked him about the husband. "Friendly enough- last year I had a tree fall down in a storm and he came over and helped me cut it up without even asking if I needed help. But he just gives me the creeps. He laughs at the most inappropriate things and always is smiling, and always has advice about everything. He once told me I was mowing my yard wrong and proceeded to give me a lecture on how to do it right." He had no idea what the husband did for a living. The wife was definitely a stay-at-home mom.
What he said next, however, is what really got me wondering. "Every so often I hear a lot of screaming coming from their house- always him yelling and one or both of the kids yelling too." My first thought was abusive husband and father and he said, "Yeah, that's what me and my wife think too." I asked if the cops had ever been there and he said "One time I almost called the cops but the wife told me to keep my nose out of it."
So that's what I'm going to be dealing with- advice on dealing with this guy?
Don't make trouble for them unless they make trouble for you. If you stick your nose into their business you will be sorry.
Op, good info to have from the previous owners. I'm not going to judge you as others have done . If I were in your spot, I'd file the info away in my head, and just be aware .
Congrats on your new home.
FIrst, take his impressions with a grain of salt, they are HIS impressions!
Second, wait til you move and then decide what's what, or who's who. THEN and only THEN can you introduce yourself to the whole family and make your own impressions.
Third, It is called "helicopter parenting"-that business of "hovering" around the kids....and taking them to the bus stop and waiting...and keeping them in their own yard where one can see them. Gee, that must be cruel to keep them out of trouble and only in their own yard! There may be trouble with other neighboring kids bullying his kids too! You don't know!
The wife may be free to be herself when he is not around, but is, by her choice the dutiful little wife when he IS around, doesn't mean anything he does anything untowards her...
Be glad, as noted that they may be good neighbors who stick to themselves, are quiet, and pay attention to their own minds and manners.
We are moving to a new neighborhood and hope we get quiet neighbors who mind their own manners and are nice and quiet, who keep their brats in their yard and NOT my nicely fenced yard, and who are just like us-quiet-keep-to-ourselves types, who don't party and take up the street with cars and are noisy!
This reminds me of a Stephen King novel... can't remember which one.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
