Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I could use some advice! First let me say, that I do not need political advice. The problem is not political. In real life I have friends of every political stripe. Depending on the person, we may just not talk politics, or talk about issues that we agree upon.
Recently, I met a woman though church, who I found to be very smart and amusing. She likes clothes and dressing well. She uses the same hairdresser as I do, and we both enjoy reading. I was surprised to learn that her eldest child is only five years younger than I am.
I am still relatively new to my area (NE Ohio) and I find the area friendly. I am still open to expanding my circle of friends - as I always am. The more the merrier!
After the service, we went down stairs to the fellowship hall. We were talking about other matters - pleasant and interesting - when rather abruptly she asked "Do you watch Fox News?" I responded that I do not. She persisted and asked WHY I didn't watch Fox. I said that I did not enjoy it. I would think that she would have stopped pressing me, but instead she said "WHY?' I responded, meekly at this point, that I am a life long Democrat.
She sincerely looked rather horrified and said "how did that happen?" as though I had contracted a deadly disease. I said, semi joking "well, I hope that isn't a deal breaker" - she said "it could be", in a kind of bitter and disjointed tone.
This reminds me of a situation that happened to me about 4 or 5 years ago. Not with a friend of any kind but I was a 26 year old guy living in LA and I was walking down the sidewalks of Hollywood (actual Hollywood, not a blanket statement about LA) and this guy of similar age and demographic approaches me....not uncommon in those parts for people to want to bother you with their activist BS.....and asked me to sign a petition of some sort to protest our soldiers being in the Middle East. I politely declined. He asked me why and I told him bluntly that I support the soldiers being overseas. This guy looked at me like I'd just grown a second nose and said "I'm sorry to hear that." I replied: "Yeah, well...." and put my earphones back in and walked away.
It goes both ways. My guess was that once your lady from church heard you say you didn't watch Fox News she knew where the conversation was going and could sense you were a Democrat. She was just poking the bear because some people want to desperately to throw their crap onto other people that they don't care how they sound.
This reminds me of a situation that happened to me about 4 or 5 years ago. Not with a friend of any kind but I was a 26 year old guy living in LA and I was walking down the sidewalks of Hollywood (actual Hollywood, not a blanket statement about LA) and this guy of similar age and demographic approaches me....not uncommon in those parts for people to want to bother you with their activist BS.....and asked me to sign a petition of some sort to protest our soldiers being in the Middle East. I politely declined. He asked me why and I told him bluntly that I support the soldiers being overseas. This guy looked at me like I'd just grown a second nose and said "I'm sorry to hear that." I replied: "Yeah, well...." and put my earphones back in and walked away.
It goes both ways. My guess was that once your lady from church heard you say you didn't watch Fox News she knew where the conversation was going and could sense you were a Democrat. She was just poking the bear because some people want to desperately to throw their crap onto other people that they don't care how they sound.
It does go both ways. Once you declined, he should have moved on. I know the second nose feeling well.
Rare is the community without a few difficult members. Rare too is the person who was never difficult herself.
I'd recommend NOT mentioning this woman to the pastor or anyone else. Complain all you like here on the forum, but to others in your community, you might just smile. That's what Anne Morrow Lindbergh did when people asked questions that made her uncomfortable, like: Aren't you terrified you'll crash? She'd give them what she called her insane smile, and say not a word in reply.
Enjoy your new church. I hope you make lots of good friends.
Why would you want to be friends with this person? Next time she brings up a political topic, just say, "Mabel, we're going to have to agree to disagree about politics. Let's talk about something else." If she won't, then excuse yourself and move on to another person for conversation. You're not being rude in that case. She doesn't want conversation, she either wants confrontation or an accolyte. There's a reason why she has acquaintances and not friends. You won't be the only two people at a church luncheon. If you need to be liked by every one of them, you will have other problems besides Mabel.
After the service, we went down stairs to the fellowship hall. We were talking about other matters - pleasant and interesting - when rather abruptly she asked "Do you watch Fox News?" I responded that I do not. She persisted and asked WHY I didn't watch Fox. I said that I did not enjoy it. I would think that she would have stopped pressing me, but instead she said "WHY?' I responded, meekly at this point, that I am a life long Democrat.
She sincerely looked rather horrified and said "how did that happen?" as though I had contracted a deadly disease. I said, semi joking "well, I hope that isn't a deal breaker" - she said "it could be", in a kind of bitter and disjointed tone.
I tried to redirect the conversation to another subject and I said "there's an old saying that advises against discussing sex, politics and religion"
She let out a bitter laugh and said "Those are my favorite subjects!"
The woman is a RWNJ and will continue to push her RW agenda on you no matter what you say.
Push her a little and all the hate venom and vitriol on a myriad of subjects will rise to the forefront. Her attitude is going to get old real fast, if significant members of this church share her views i'd start looking for a new church.
Why would you want to be friends with this person? Next time she brings up a political topic, just say, "Mabel, we're going to have to agree to disagree about politics. Let's talk about something else." If she won't, then excuse yourself and move on to another person for conversation. You're not being rude in that case. She doesn't want conversation, she either wants confrontation or an accolyte. There's a reason why she has acquaintances and not friends. You won't be the only two people at a church luncheon. If you need to be liked by every one of them, you will have other problems besides Mabel.
I DON'T want to be friends with her. I thought that much was clear.
Rare is the community without a few difficult members. Rare too is the person who was never difficult herself.
I'd recommend NOT mentioning this woman to the pastor or anyone else. Complain all you like here on the forum, but to others in your community, you might just smile. That's what Anne Morrow Lindbergh did when people asked questions that made her uncomfortable, like: Aren't you terrified you'll crash? She'd give them what she called her insane smile, and say not a word in reply.
Enjoy your new church. I hope you make lots of good friends.
I don't know. In my 50 plus years on this earth, rare is the person who is this abrasive to a virtual stranger in a church.
Who made her the keeper of the gate?
Update - We had our meeting about transfer of records to this church today. The pastor is awesome. Friendly, smart, and very wise. He has good intuition about people.
We had decided not to bring up Betty incident - as most of you recommended, but after discussing a few other things, we thought it might be a good idea to ask the pastor if hers was the prevailing view point in the church.
His answer was absolutely NOT! He is not a Fox News fan. However, he said there are some in the church and others who think differently. It isn't a "political church". Which was what I had thought.
What happened next was surprising - he said I saw you on Sunday and I know who you are talking about. She has some very strong opinions, and apparently, not only about politics.
He said that she is new to the church. I was shocked and said that she said that she told me that she had been attending for several years. He said no. She left for two years, and visited different churches.
She likes to be in charge and when she doesn't get her way at other churches she returns because this church is pretty easy going and tolerant.
This was the first he had heard of the political view point. But he wasn't shocked. He also wasn't shocked by how rude she was.
She apparently has a problem with people who do not dress up for church and with anyone who is overweight. She wanted to set up an etiquette class in the church.
He told me that on Sunday he would have some very nice "old timers" escort us to our table after we get doughnuts and coffee, so that she doesn't come in for the kill.
So I felt relieved that my experience was somewhat validated.
I am just now reading your thread, Sheena. I think you have handled things very well. Your pastor sounds like a very nice man, and I hope you are happy in your new church.
Just keep in mine that you may want to rescue someone else later, when the aggressive woman spots another newcomer.
In real life I have friends of every political stripe. Depending on the person, we may just not talk politics, or talk about issues that we agree upon.
I'm not getting it - what interest is in discussing things you already agreed upon?
I'm not getting it - what interest is in discussing things you already agreed upon?
What's not to get? I don't want to have heated political debates at church - or anywhere, for that matter, with people who are so intense and hateful in their beliefs that they change the TV channel if the pres. is on or they cut his likeness out if he's in the paper.
That's nuts.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I thought that much was clear.
She wanted to set up an etiquette class in the church. 
