The much-despised "ma'am" word (Christian, college, husband, person)

[KathrynAragon]

Originally Posted by maciesmom

That may be true for YOU, but clearly, some people DO expect it:

All I can tell you is that I lived in Georgia for ten years and while it's common to use the term there, I didn't get the feeling that people EXPECT it - with the exception of young children (as Georgiabelle mentioned) addressing their elders, which was not the case that I was responding to (an adult using the term - or choosing not to use the term - with other adults, in Texas).

But I commend you on your efforts once again to try to argue with me. Good job! Happy New Year, M'am.

[maciesmom]

Originally Posted by KathrynAragon

All I can tell you is that I lived in Georgia for ten years and while it's common to use the term there, I didn't get the feeling that people EXPECT it - with the exception of young children (as Georgiabelle mentioned) addressing their elders, which was not the case that I was responding to (an adult using the term with other adults, in Texas).

But I commend you on your efforts once again to try to argue with me. Good job! Happy New Year, M'am.

1. My only point was that you can speak for yourself and your experiences. Just like others with whom you disagree have their own experiences. Yours do not trump theirs. The poster I quoted spoke in the first quoted post about children speaking to adults, and in the second post quoted about anyone speaking to a woman (including other adults as that was the example she was referring to). So *some* people do expect to be addressed that way.

2. Not trying to argue with you - just pointing out that other people have their own experience, no matter how many times you try to sweep their reality under the table by using your own.

3. Again, I've never claimed to be offended by the use of "ma'am"

[KathrynAragon]

Originally Posted by maciesmom

1. My only point was that you can speak for yourself and your experiences. Just like others with whom you disagree have their own experiences. Yours do not trump theirs. The poster I quoted spoke in the first quoted post about children speaking to adults, and in the second post quoted about anyone speaking to a woman (presumably including other adults). So *some* people do expect to be addressed that way.

2. Not trying to argue with you - just pointing out that other people have their own experience, no matter how many times you try to sweep their reality under the table by using your own.

3. Again, I've never claimed to be offended by the use of "ma'am"

WARNING WARNING WARNING - THIS IS ONLY MY OWN PERSONAL OPINION. I AM NOT GOD AND AM NOT OMNIPOTENT. THE OPINIONS, EXPERIENCES AND BELIEFS OF OTHERS MAY DIFFER. OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR MAY APPEAR CLOSER THAN THEY ARE. COFFEE MAY BE HOT. THIS SIDE UP.

I think I've just about covered myself. Now, if I can just remember to include this on all posts, everyone should feel safer and more validated.

[KathrynAragon]

Oh, one more to cover myself:

https://youtu.be/RtU5mli5qPA

Happy Boxing Day everyone!

[Mattie]

Originally Posted by KathrynAragon

All I can tell you is that I lived in Georgia for ten years and while it's common to use the term there, I didn't get the feeling that people EXPECT it - with the exception of young children (as Georgiabelle mentioned) addressing their elders, which was not the case that I was responding to (an adult using the term - or choosing not to use the term - with other adults, in Texas).

But I commend you on your efforts once again to try to argue with me. Good job! Happy New Year, M'am.

I've lived in GA a bit longer than you, and in some instances, it's common AND expected. My kids were in 8th and 9th grade when we moved here, and learned very quickly that in a school setting, ma'am as well as sir is not just seen as being pleasant, but customary, and yes, expected. Coming from out-of-state, the terms were not in their everyday vocabulary, but a few extra laps around the track to remind them took care of that, courtesy of coaches who insisted upon hearing it. Maybe if they never played sports it wouldn't have become habitual, but they did, and those coaches were very persuasive. Consequently, it became a habit both in and out of school, and even sometimes at home.

Originally Posted by KathrynAragon

WARNING WARNING WARNING - THIS IS ONLY MY OWN PERSONAL OPINION. I AM NOT GOD AND AM NOT OMNIPOTENT. THE OPINIONS, EXPERIENCES AND BELIEFS OF OTHERS MAY DIFFER. OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR MAY APPEAR CLOSER THAN THEY ARE. COFFEE MAY BE HOT. THIS SIDE UP.

I think I've just about covered myself. Now, if I can just remember to include this on all posts, everyone should feel safer and more validated.

Maciesmom is a long-time and well respected poster, who happens to not agree with you. She sure doesn't deserve the snark.

[Shysister]

Originally Posted by maciesmom

That may be true for YOU, but clearly, some people DO expect it:

Exactly! I have gotten dirty looks as to say I wasn't raised properly or don't know how to show respect for elders. When the fact of the matter is, there's no law saying how I must address someone and I don't care what's considered "traditional" I'm not going to act in a manner that is uncomfortable for me just to appease someone else.

[Shysister]

Originally Posted by Mattie

I've lived in GA a bit longer than you, and in some instances, it's common AND expected. My kids were in 8th and 9th grade when we moved here, and learned very quickly that in a school setting, ma'am as well as sir is not just seen as being pleasant, but customary, and yes, expected. Coming from out-of-state, the terms were not in their everyday vocabulary, but a few extra laps around the track to remind them took care of that, courtesy of coaches who insisted upon hearing it. Maybe if they never played sports it wouldn't have become habitual, but they did, and those coaches were very persuasive. Consequently, it became a habit both in and out of school, and even sometimes at home.



Maciesmom is a long-time and well respected poster, who happens to not agree with you. She sure doesn't deserve the snark.

That's ridiculous your kids got punished because of that, you're their parent not the coaches and they're not in the military but in school. I certainly would have had an issue with that but then again nothing would have been done about it and they would have had to adjust like they did, however that still doesn't make it right. It certainly brings awareness to how much a difference it makes where you choose to raise your kids which is exactly why I'm apprehensive about raising future kids in Texas. Neither me or my fiancé are from the South and have no interest in "Southern" values and will not promote them in our household.

[maciesmom]

Originally Posted by Shysister

That's ridiculous your kids got punished because of that, you're their parent not the coaches and they're not in the military but in school. I certainly would have had an issue with that but then again nothing would have been done about it and they would have had to adjust like they did, however that still doesn't make it right. It certainly brings awareness to how much a difference it makes where you choose to raise your kids which is exactly why I'm apprehensive about raising future kids in Texas. Neither me or my fiancé are from the South and have no interest in "Southern" values and will not promote them in our household.

I do think that bucking the customs of where you live can create unnecessary hardships. It's one thing to chose that for yourselves, it's quite another to subject your children to the potential backlash for something relatively innocuous. In most cases, the intent is to show respect. If you insist that your children "not" follow the local custom, you are putting them at risk for teachers, coaches and others in a position of authority over them, to have cause to think less of them. I think that's something you'd need to really consider.

[Shysister]

Originally Posted by maciesmom

I do think that bucking the customs of where you live can create unnecessary hardships. It's one thing to chose that for yourselves, it's quite another to subject your children to the potential backlash for something relatively innocuous. In most cases, the intent is to show respect. If you insist that your children "not" follow the local custom, you are putting them at risk for teachers, coaches and others in a position of authority over them, to have cause to think less of them. I think that's something you'd need to really consider.

Yes I agree which is why I'm apprehensive about raising kids in Texas in the first place because I know they will have to do what it takes to "fit in" sort of speak and I don't like the idea of that at all. However there will be adjustments through out their lives that they will have to adhere too such as the work place in the future. So I guess it could be an early life lesson, that's a positive way to view it.

[engineman]

It is not a bit worse than "youse guys".